CEOs

Gristina reportedly ran a top-shelf operation, carefully choosing her stable of women and screening potential clients…the married mother of four took just a 40% cut of her employees’ billings during her 15 years in business — well below the industry standard 50-50 split with working girls, say sources. The madam’s generosity was one of the things that escort Lizzie most appreciated from her 44-year-old boss. [NYDN, Earlier: I'm a CEO, I'm building an empire]

Remember Anna Gristina/Scotland? To recap, she’s the entrepreneur we were introduced to yesterday whose business hit a bit of a stumbling block when she was arrested by the Manhattan DA and charged with “promoting prostitution” out of her firm’s global headquarters, a whorehouse on East 78th Street. Gristina/Scotland is currently on Riker’s Island having been unable to post bail, set at $2 million, but prior to all this going down, she was just a (self-described) CEO with big plans and an outlook not so different from her colleagues in the business world. Before being nailed as part of a 5-year investigation, a typical day for Anna included: Read more »

During the height of the financial crisis, like when the shit was really hitting the fan, one thing that was considered a serious faux pas, perhaps even more so than giving out bonuses, was use of the corporate jet by Chief Executives. And not just for pleasure trips but for business, too. If anyone so much as even entertained the thought of boarding that thing for work purposes they’d be shot dead by something worse than a gun- public opinion. Now, though, enough time has passed that one would consider it acceptable to use the plane from time to time, perhaps even to expedite travel to weekend homes where one is still on the clock, right? WRONG, BITCHES! The Wall Street Journal‘s been watching you and is here to blow up your spot. Read more »

“We have to face the fact that most of America’s CEOs don’t want the economy to get ‘better.’ Because for them, it couldn’t get better—they’ve got profit coming out their ears, while with 9.5 percent unemployment their entire workforce is too scared to ask for a 25 cent-an-hour raise. They’d be happy to have things stay just like they are now. Forever.” [TDB]

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 1:10 PM

Who Wants To Be A CEO?

Have you always dreamed of running a company but not exactly gotten it together to amass the necessary qualifications? Have you thought it would be pretty cool to really just be the face of some organization (provided it’s not currently taking a little heat for some unfortunate accidents or being accused of harvesting & trafficking aborted baby parts out of its offices on West Street) but not do any heavy lifting behind the scenes? Today is your lucky day, provided you’re Caucasian. Read more »

Following his pit-stop for wings in Buffalo yesterday, Obama spoke at a campaign fundraiser at The St. Regis hotel, which you might’ve assumed would be attended by top Wall Street brass. Jamie, since they’re buds. Lloyd, because he has to. Vikram, because his plans always fall through. But you would’ve assumed wrong! The bank CEO’s decided they were all good and opted not to pay the $50,000 entrance fee to hear the prez talk about buzz-kill topics like “reform” and “responsibility” (he also said “there are a lot of good people who work in the financial industry who do things the right way,” so they missed out on that free ego boost). Read more »

fatnlittle.jpgLiterally, and not like, as a metaphor for the markets repeatedly slamming his nuts in a drawer. From today’s Sex Diary:

B, the CEO of a bank, likes for me to kick him repeatedly in the testicles. I threaten him with my two pink dildos, Fat Man and Little Boy. Sometimes I’m disturbed by the ease with which I perform acts of such egregious violence. He calls what we do making love.

Read more »

  • 29 Jan 2010 at 3:43 PM

Gunfight At Davos

gunfight.JPGIt’s getting ugly in Davos. As we wrote previously, everybody is mad at everybody and the booze is missing, which is not helping people’s mood. (Except for Vikram, who, as a commenter noted, looks in the CNBC interview “like he’s sitting in the Zen garden of his dreams.”)

“Both the banks and the regulators think they hold all the cards,” said Harvard Economics Professor Kenneth Rogoff. “The bankers think that when the storm passes nothing will have changed and they can go back to business as usual. Regulators think banks have completely lost the political capital and are ignoring public opinion.”

Read more »

winetastingman.jpgSo here’s what really’s pissing off Davos attendees. It’s not some bankers’ behind-the-door plotting. It’s not the endless convos about whether breaking up the banks is a good or a bad thing and it’s not how to help Haiti.
Nope. None of those trivialities. What people are really angry about is that this year -just like last – there won’t be a wine tasting, which has historically been the “highlight of the forum.”

Read more »

  • 21 Jan 2010 at 4:29 PM

Buffett Has The Answer


“Make it so that the CEO of an institution that fails, or goes to the government and needs help, really gets destroyed financially.” He also “thanks the Lord for Bernanke” and says that “Geithner is terrific.”

We can think of few rituals less desirable than appealing to a Swiss parent (or regulator) for money. Perhaps anesthetic-less amputation in a jungle field hospital, or clinical trials for hemorrhagic fever vaccines might qualify. So we do not much envy UBS, which, after a difficult year or two, has to come begging Swiss authorities (specifically, the Swiss Federal Banking Commission- and more humorless gaggle of grumps you are unlikely ever to meet) to approve 2008 bonuses.
Here is a pair of words that should strike cold fear into the hearts of the most jaded bankers. “Absolutely necessary.”
Don’t worry, though he sucked in CHF 130+ million in the last seven years, Marcel Ospel, former Chairman and CEO, didn’t get a bonus for 2007. Fair’s fair.
UBS Bonuses Will Need Regulator’s Approval After Aid Package [Bloomberg]