• 08 Jan 2013 at 1:24 PM

Carlyle, Cerberus Cash Out In Asia

A couple of big private equity firms have made all the money they think they’re going to on a couple of Asian financial institutions. Read more »

Apparently selling buggy whips paper for newspapers, magazines and coupons is not as profitable as – wait, who thought it was profitable? Cerberus? Sadly, that did not work out for them:

NewPage Corp., the largest North American maker of coated papers, filed for bankruptcy six years after being bought by Cerberus Capital Management LP.

NewPage had $3.4 billion in assets and $4.2 billion in debt as of June 30, according to today’s Chapter 11 filing in Wilmington, Delaware. The Miamisburg, Ohio-based company was bought by New York-based Cerberus for $2.3 billion in January 2005, and issued $900 million in junk bonds to fund the purchase. It has been unprofitable since 2006.

A 2005-vintage leveraged buyout company crushed by an unsustainable debt load and operational failure is a good excuse to mention a neat paper posted today on Harvard Law School’s Forum on Corporate Governance and Financial Regulation. The authors, three UT-Austin business professors, use tax return data to examine what happens to 1995-2007 vintage U.S. LBO targets. And they are pretty confident that they can dismiss many of the traditional explanations for how private equity firms make money – both the flattering and the unflattering ones. From the paper: Read more »

The cheery infernal canines at Cerberus Capital Management have been pretty consistent in saying that (1) they’d rather not close on their deal to buy Innkeepers out of bankruptcy, (2) it’s because there’s been a material adverse effect, and (3) no, thanks, they’d rather not tell anyone what that MAE was. And in “anyone” they’re going to include the bankruptcy court, as they demonstrated yesterday. The judge remains curious, however, and set a trial for October:

Judge Chapman sympathized with Innkeepers’ desire to resolve the MAE issue as quickly as possible, citing widespread media coverage about the uncertainty of the deal.

She rejected Cerberus lawyer Adam Harris’ argument that Innkeepers should have done more to affirm its readiness to close the deal in August.

“Come on, Innkeepers was ready to close,” she said. “They were there. It’s not like asking a girl to dance. You didn’t need to hear from them the next day, saying: ‘We’re really, really ready to close.'”

Cerberus is not gambling everything on its strategy of never, ever saying what the MAE was. It released a statement saying:
Read more »

Three-headed hell-dog of a private equity firm Cerberus recently backed out of a deal to buy hotel operator Innkeepers out of bankruptcy because … uh … well, it’s been a bit of an intriguing mystery so far. Turns out it’s still a mystery to Innkeepers as well, so they’ve decided to sue and find out:
Read more »

Protest At 299 Park Ave

Apparently some people are of the mind that Cerberus Capital Management is racist. Read more »

ABC News reports that Cerberus Capital Management is in talks to invest $200 million for a stake in Blackwater. We originally suspected that this was merely a PR move by Feinberg’s firm to really try and live up to its three-headed dog guarding the gates of hell name but when even Tonton Macoutes-employing Steve Cohen is chastising himself for not coming up with the idea, you have to wonder, perhaps Cerberus is on to something? In related news, the Hebrew Rambo, Daniel Loeb, has been heard shouting, “Whoa, why the hell didn’t I think of this!? Major firearms manufacturers AND the staff to buy them? Total vertical integration and complete dominance in the AR-15/M-16 market with no threat of anti-trust because I’m only dominating one class of firearms! Fuck me, that Feinberg is good.”
As an aside: Iraqi Army to Ditch AK-47s for M-16s [Military.com]
Hedge Fund in Talks to Buy Blackwater [ABC News]
UPDATE: Or not! Quick DL, now’s your chance! Do it before Steve! Run, Jewboy, run!