CFA

  • cfa1

    News

    CFA Institute Shatters Fewer Dreams Than Usual In 2014

    To be sure, it shattered a lot of dreams. Dreams whose seeds were planted, for some, as far back as the early nineties, when the Institute was formed. On visits to the hallowed halls of CFA headquarters. In conference rooms, where colleagues discussed the merits of MBA versus CFA. Upon receiving an email from a […]

    / Aug 12, 2014 at 10:54 AM
  • cfa

    News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Results

    On a Saturday in June, men and women around took a couple of tests. They were the Level I and II of the CFA and while outsiders, family members, MBA grads and the like would never understand how much these exams meant, test-takers knew all too well. Hundreds of hours of studying. Thousands of dollars […]

    / Jul 29, 2014 at 11:07 AM
  • cfa

    News

    CFA Level I And II Results Are Out Tomorrow: Start Freaking Out Today

    Tomorrow at 9AM EST, lives will be forever altered. Some for the good, some for the bad. The former will learn that they passed the Level I or II CFA exam given in June; their prize will be the opportunity to buy more books and spend hundreds more hours studying for the next test in […]

    / Jul 28, 2014 at 2:02 PM
  • cfa1

    News

    Passing Series Of Exams More Difficult Than Two Years Of Boozing With Your Fellow MBA-Candidates: Guy

    …some argue that students who have completed all three levels and won the right to put the three letters CFA after their names and be called a chartered financial analyst have an advantage over those with an MBA. “I think there might be a crossing point soon – I think the CFA in the financial […]

    / Jun 24, 2014 at 4:28 PM
  • cfa

    News

    CFA Institute Chief Violates Sanctity Of Those Three Little Letters

    As many of you know, the Chartered Financial Analyst Institute is a group that takes itself extremely seriously. While MBA programs may be content to have any old degenerate representing them, Team CFA holds its members and would-be members to a much higher standard. The organization has zero qualms about throwing one of its own […]

    / Jun 11, 2014 at 9:45 AM
  • cfa

    News

    Let’s Have A Chat About: CFA Exam-Eve Freak Out Levels

    As no one needs to be reminded, tomorrow is judgment day for 150,000+ financial services employees hoping to one day add 3 little letters to the bottom of their email signature. If you’re feeling prepared, confident, and calm, that’s nice for you. If on a scale of 1-10, 1 being “I have zero anxiety whatsoever […]

    / Jun 6, 2014 at 2:16 PM
  • cfa

    News

    150,000 Financial Services Employees To Find Out Saturday If Last 4-6 Months Of Their Lives Were Worth It

    To most of the world, June 7th is just another summer Saturday. To those sitting for the Level I, II, or III CFA exams, it’s the day that determines if months of sacrificing their personal and professional lives– and in many cases, general standards of hygiene– in exchange for study time paid off. For those […]

    / Jun 4, 2014 at 5:20 PM
  • cfa1 (1)

    News

    Only 57% Of December CFA Takers Are Reevaluating Their Lives Today

    Back in December men and women across the globe sat down to take the first exam in a series of exams that they hoped would, one day in the distant future, allow them to place three little letters next to their name, on their business card, email signature, linkedin profile, and maybe even cock: CFA. […]

    / Jan 28, 2014 at 2:29 PM
  • cfa1

    News

    Let’s Have A Chat About: CFA Level III Results (And Lifelong Dreams)

    For 49% of the June test takers, this is the greatest day of your lives. You have spent years chasing after those three little letters. You have sacrificed time, sleep, relationships, and money. Money not just spent on books and prep courses but on the jacket sitting in the back of your closet, still in […]

    / Aug 6, 2013 at 1:31 PM
  • cfa1

    News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Results

    Thirty-eight percent of Level I takers and forty-three percent of Level II’ers are likely feeling prettay, prettay, prettay good at the moment, probably on account of the celebratory breakfast drinks and/or the realization that the promise land is so close that they can taste it. The rest of you have nothing to live for.

    / Jul 23, 2013 at 3:33 PM
  • cfa1

    News

    CFA 2013: T-Minus 24 Hours ‘Til Those Three Little Letters Will Be Within Reach

    As those of you who’ve spent the last 4-5 months in a hermetically sealed bubble of test prep books know, tomorrow is the CFA exam for levels I, II, and III.

    / May 31, 2013 at 11:50 AM
  • cfa1

    News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level I Results

    Are you among the 37% of candidates who passed the December 2012 exam? Are you going to celebrate by allowing yourself one night off from studying and then cracking the Level II books first thing tomorrow morning?

    / Jan 22, 2013 at 11:52 AM
  • News

    CFA Police: “The Candidate Was Moving His Hat And Hands Around Using What Appeared To Be Signals”

    Yesterday, at approximately 10:30AM, scores of financial services employees breathed a collective sigh of relief. Relief that months of studying had paid off in the form of a passing score on the Level II and II CFA exams. Relief that, even though months of studying had been a total waste of time with nothing to show for it, they could get on with their lives and stop wondering. One guy was less lucky. He’s in a CFA holding cell right now pending an investigation, thanks to some supposedly suspect fidgeting and a couple proctors with itchy trigger fingers, possibly hoping to impress their superiors.











    According to the suspect, “No one has ever accused me of having a nervous tic or cheating before…I don’t understand how you could honestly mistake my, admittedly strange, gestures as signaling to an unknown accomplice.”

    / Jul 25, 2012 at 2:43 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: How Many Of You Are One Step Closer To CFA Camp?

    Thirty-eight percent of Level I takers and forty-two percent of Level II’ers have reason to feel pretty good about your lives this morning.

    Your studying was worth it, your plans are right on track, the promise land is so close you can taste it. The rest of you are likely feeling less good. Your (hours and days and weeks and months) of studying did not end up being worth it, you’re right back where you started, and the path to the quote ultimate honor unquote–the land of milk and honey and stacks of CFA exams in need of grading, as high as the eye can see– seems littered with insurmountable obstacles. Your family and friends and colleagues told you they never wanted to hear those three little letters in that sequence again but if you need to vent, we’re listening. You’re safe here.

    / Jul 24, 2012 at 10:30 AM
  • three little letters

    CFA 2012: Good Luck To All

    As those of you who took the week off to study are well-aware, Saturday is CFA exam day, for all levels. And while we have complete confidence in all of your abilities, some people have expressed feeling a bit jittery about the test. For the vast majority, those fears, while normal, are unwarranted. You just need to talk it out and should consider this space a safe place to do so. For a smaller group of people, though, your fears are totally founded because, statistically speaking, you will fail. Having said that…

    Back in January, after Matt found out he’d passed Level 1 (with a perfect score), a conversation occurred at Dealbreaker HQ that went something like this:

    Me: So are you going to sign up for Level 2?
    Matt: Eh, I don’t think so…I mean, I don’t really feel like spending the next 5 months of my life studying, y’know? And then what am I going to do? Wait around another year to take Level 3?
    Me: Uh….YES, I thought that’s exactly what I thought you were going to do. Don’t you want to be a CFA charterholder? Don’t you want to go to CFA Camp?
    Matt: Meh.

    Fast forward to last Thursday, when we’re sitting around l’office shooting the shit and someone casually mentions, “I wish I were taking the CFA next week.” Unfortunately, said someone is not because he choose not to sign up, strangely forgetting how much he loves standardized tests. That being said, if anyone is scheduled to take Level 2 but a) is suffering performance anxiety and b) wants the opportunity to read another recap of how things panned out for an editor of this site, Matt is happy to go in your place and pass it for you. With two nights of studying he gives himself a 50 percent chance (I think it’s closer to 75), you’d get those 8 hours back, and it’d make him really, really happy. If he doesn’t get to take Level 2 he’s considering the idea of the Connecticut Bar in July. Let him have this.

    / May 31, 2012 at 2:11 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level I Results

    Thirty-eight percent of the December™ Level I™ test-takers test-takers learn by email today that they’re one step closer to being able to guarantee investment results. As for your humble correspondent …

    / Jan 24, 2012 at 10:27 AM
  • News

    Advice For Anyone Else Planning To Take The CFA Exam For No Real Reason

    As it turns out, the only piece of commenter advice on taking the CFA Level I Exam that I actually followed was “don’t have lunch at Headquarters, the strip club across the street from the Javits Center.” Initially, I wasn’t sure about this advice. When I left the Javits Center for lunch, a part of […]

    / Dec 5, 2011 at 12:15 PM
  • News

    I’m Now Prepared To Guarantee A Future Ability To Guarantee Returns

    I’m back. Did I miss anything? My imaginary CFA results are mid-80% area for both the morning and afternoon sessions. That sounds like it predicts a pass on Saturday, though probably not at a 95% level of significance. (Does it? I have no idea.) The effect of 1 drink before / 1 during the afternoon […]

    / Nov 30, 2011 at 5:44 PM
  • News

    And Now Some Mockery

    I am now going to take a mock CFA exam. In order to replicate actual testing conditions as closely as possible without leaving my apartment, I will do the following: 1. Spend 2 hours* on the first session (120 questions) 2. Lunch, beer 3. Spend 2 hours on the second session (120 questions). Another beer. […]

    / Nov 30, 2011 at 12:33 PM
  • News

    The OCC And I Work Hard To Guarantee Investment Returns

    This is shaping up to be CFA week for me, and with my impending triumph/humiliation I’ve pretty much stopped thinking about much else. I’ve also stopped reading about much else, putting aside Trotsky temporarily to focus on those six stupid books. Yesterday was corporate finance – I can now unlever and relever betas like a […]

    / Nov 29, 2011 at 6:35 PM
  • News

    Things I Did Not Know About The CFA Exam

    Attentive readers may recall that a while back I signed up to take the CFA Level I exam, in order to (1) pursue my passion for standardized testing,(2) expose the secret behind-the-scenes workings of America’s trillion-dollar financial-analysis-certification business, and (3) have a major institution to stand behind my guarantees of consistent above-market investment returns. I […]

    / Nov 28, 2011 at 6:50 PM
  • News

    Have You Gotten Your ‘I Survived The CFA Exam’ Shirt Yet?

    If yes, did you get the plain boring old one or the one with the tassels?

    / Aug 19, 2011 at 12:42 PM
  • News

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Level III Results

    Fifty-one percent of Level 3 takers have reason to feel really good right about now: the opportunity to attend CFA Camp is so close you can taste it. For the rest of you, whose state of mind is not helped by the fact that more people passed this year than last and yet the Chartered […]

    / Aug 16, 2011 at 10:17 AM
  • News

    Which One Of You Is Gonna Pass A Stone During The December CFA And Still Finish The Exam?

    In a few short weeks, many financial services employees will begin the soul-crushing, life-sucking process of studying for Level I CFA exam given in December. So you that you don’t look back and realize you wasted 4+ months of your time on earth, most of you are probably hoping to pass. And sure, that’s a […]

    / Jul 29, 2011 at 1:44 PM
  • Uncategorized

    Let’s Talk About: CFA Results

    Thirty-nine percent of Level 1 takers and forty-three percent of Level II’ers are likely feeling prettay prettay prettay good at the moment, possibly on account of celebratory morning drinks or the realization that the promise land is within reach. The rest of you are probably in not as great a place, on account of having […]

    / Jul 26, 2011 at 9:49 AM
  • MBAs, News

    Investment Manager Sues Playboy Modeling Ex-Girlfriend For Writing Herself Blank Check, Tuition Fees

    Until 2007, investment manager Andrew Oberwager and his girlfriend Karolina Stefansi were a happy, highly educated couple in love. Oberwager was a PM at Columbus Circle Partners, who had earned the right to not only put the letters C, F, and A after his signature, but M and D as well, having graduated from Harvard […]

    / Jul 13, 2011 at 5:32 PM
  • MBAs, News

    You’re Not A True CFA Until You’ve Made It To Little-Known Level IV

    For the vast majority of those on the quest to become a Chartered Financial Analyst, there are three tests to be conquered and then they’re set. They’ve gained the keys to the kingdom. Three tests, they think, and you’re in. That’s because these people are not true children of the CFA. If they were, they’d […]

    / Jul 7, 2011 at 1:56 PM
  • MBAs, News

    Good Luck To All

    It’s CFA time tomorrow and we know everyone taking it is going to do great! And if you don’t, it’s not like this shit matters– just ask any of your MBA friends. Alternatively, think about it this way– becoming a Chartered Financial Analyst will spell the end of your budding pornography career. If you’re truly […]

    / Jun 3, 2011 at 1:03 PM

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