check yourselves

I don’t know what it’s like at your office, but at the Securities and Exchange Commission, Valentine’s Day is a big deal. Staffers frequently beat suitors off with a stick and on February 14, the deliveries of candy, chocolates, flower arrangements, and edible undies do not stop. So when workers were notified just days before the big day that moving forward, such shipments were banned, there was no way they were going to take the news lying down. Read more »

Goldman Sachs has said it would move much of its European business out of London if Britain leaves the European Union. The warning from the world’s most powerful investment bank comes as political pressure for Britain to leave the EU mounts. David Cameron has committed to holding a referendum on Britain’s membership if the Conservatives win the next election and some Tory MPs have been agitating for an early vote on the matter. Michael Sherwood, co-chief executive of Goldman Sachs International, said: “In all likelihood we would transfer a substantial part of our European business from London to a eurozone location – the most obvious contenders being Paris and Frankfurt.” [Guardian via Heidi Moore]


Well, technically there’ll be some, but a lot fewer instances than in the past. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the can’t do the time and admit publicly to [circle all that apply] insider trading/running a fake hedge fund/blowing investor money at T.G.I. Friday’s. Read more »

That’s why former Teen Mom cast member Farrah Abraham has elected to enroll in Lubin’s online program, to save her fellow MBA candidates from themselves. Although you won’t see her in any lecture halls, please, if she happens to make an appearance on campus for whatever reason, keep it in your respective pants. Obviously that message goes out to the faculty as well. Read more »

You wanna play hardball? James Dimon is game. Read more »

  • 04 Apr 2012 at 7:28 PM

Whatever Doesn’t Kill JPMorgan Makes It Stronger

“The frustration with — and hostility toward — our industry continues,” Dimon said today in a letter to shareholders of New York-based JPMorgan, the largest U.S. bank by assets. “We have not retrenched. Just the opposite — we have stepped up.” [Bloomberg, related]

  • 07 Apr 2010 at 10:45 AM

You Wanna Know What Gets Jamie Dimon’s Goat?

If you said Washington you’re not wrong but that’s not the answer we were looking for. Yes, James is incredibly frustrated with the people in DC. Previously he’s tried to hold his tongue but no longer. He’s openly expressed concern about the various reform proposals and he recently told the President that the “administration’s anti-bank rhetoric ‘isn’t helpful,’ because it demoralizes businesses and employees.” But Washington, eh, whatever. It’s a source of annoyance but it’s not the thing that gets Jamie’s blood really boiling. Same goes for Syracuse University. He’s pissed at them, but they’re low on the list of things that make him go ape shit. What chaps James Dimon’s hide no other is when his name appears alongside certain people with whom he has essentially nothing in common. Read more »

Screen shot 2009-11-10 at 12.42.04 PM.pngFor most of this week, our singular mission has been to defend the most majestic hedge fund in all the land, vis-à-vis the hideous suggestion they may have been tainted by the insider trading scandal du jour. Our message has been simply this: Steve Cohen is the king, and nobody fucks with his majesty. And yet. Some people? Still don’t get it. Take this story, entitled “SAC Capital Ex-Analyst Under Probe.” The particular trading in question took place while the employee was at another firm entirely. But someone–Rupert–just had to drag the Kingdom of Cohen into the conversation, didn’t they? So, today, I’m going to show you people what you can expect if you don’t back the shit off. I mean it. Shut it with this insider trading crap, as it relates to the big guy and his li’l guys, or the following scenario is in your future. IF YOU’RE LUCKY.

Read more »