The past couple years have been something of a kick the pants for Vikram Pandit and certainly not what he was expecting when he agreed to take on the role of Citi CEO in exchange for almost a billion dollars, plus the keys to his lemon, otherwise known as Old Lane. Previously a smiley, jolly fellow of a sunny disposition, he lost weight and found himself in something of a funk. Then, in April, things started to look up. “Vikram is looking and sounding a lot more confident and secure,” a top lieutenant told the Times. “He has a smile on his face.” And why? “He sees the day when he is going to earn more than a $1 a year.” Today, someone felt the need to come along and knock the wind out of those sails (of hope). Read more »
Apparently, yes. We’re told the “majority if not everyone” from the Houston energy office, headed by Stephen Trauber and said to be considered “the best division at UBS,” walked out last night and is headed for Citi. Read more »
Recently, Mike Mayo has gotten into a bit of public with Citigroup. To recap, a few weeks back, the analyst started telling clients and whoever else will listen that the bank is inflating its profits and needs to a write down $50 billion of deferred-tax assets. For the offense, Citi apparently froze Mayo out, denying him any and all access to Vikram Pandit. This, being the worst thing you can do to a person, made Mayo hit harder, musing that maybe we can’t trust Citi at all. Somewhere along the way Charlie Gasparino got wind of all this and made it public, meaning Citi had to be all, “Mike Mayo? LOVVVVE him. There’s no freeze out, Vik’s just been really busy finalizing his fantasy football team, is all.” Citi has graciously extended an offer for Mayo to come over on October 1, which he’s accepted, at which time they probably think a little face time and sweet talking from Uncle Vik will be all that’s necessary to get Michael to upgrade Citi to “fucking awesome” in his book. According to Charlie Gasparino, that may not be the case. Mayo’s next note will more likely be along the lines of “we are about two quarters from consigning this dump to the scrap heap of corporate history.” Read more »
As mentioned last week, analyst Mike Mayo has been going around telling clients and whoever else will listen that the bank is inflating its profits and needs to a write down $50 billion of deferred-tax assets. For the offense, Citi has, according to Charlie Gasparino, frozen Mayo out. No one-on-ones in Pandit’s office, no phone interviews, and he’s even blocked from Uncle Vik on IM, which has got to chap some serious hide. On Friday, fellow analyst Dick Bové inserted himself into the situation, coming out and claiming Mayo be talking shit, and that Citi is “not cooking the books.” Today, Mayo went on.
“We believe that Citigroup’s financial targets can encourage short-term excesses over long-term prudence,” Mayo wrote in a note to clients titled “A Matter of Trust.” Mayo, an analyst at the securities firm CLSA, added: “Citi has an aggressive financial target of 5% asset growth when so much of its past problems stem from excessive asset growth.”
Sent: Thursday, August 26, 2010 5:36 PM
Subject: Let’s Keep Going!
In New York, summer can be a time of year when things slow down. But as I talk to our people and visit Citi locations around the world, it is very clear to me that we have been keeping up a good pace throughout this great institution. Having held Town Halls in Mexico City, St. Petersburg, Hanoi and Singapore over the past few months, I continue to be struck by your enthusiasm and dedication. I want to share with you some of the things we have accomplished together recently.
Charlie Gasparino is apparently going to reveal the winning answer shortly but for those of you whose offices don’t have the TV’s turned to FBN, let’s take some stabs at it. Historically, Meredith Whitney has been the analyst with whom the bank has had the most beef, so she should be the first name that comes to mind. We can confidently cross her name off the list, though, ’cause they don’t have the balls. I suppose it could be Dick Bové but are they really looking for another tear-streamed freak-out? Probably not. So, who then? Mayo? Some bucket shop pissant you’ve never heard of so C can feel like a big man without having a certain dominatrix shove a shiv up their asses?
Only half-serious, of course (though Vickles does love a charity case). What the bank does care about is having its wealthy clients’ hard-earned money pissed away by a bunch of pissants who need to be put on a leash.
Citigroup is testing a website to let millionaires’ children manage their allowances, while alerting parents and bankers when scions blow through cash too quickly. Heirs to Citigroup’s wealthiest clients can log in to parent-funded accounts for discretionary spending, investments and “one-click giving” to charities. The site was developed by Tile Financial LLC, founded by former New York Stock Exchange finance chief and Bear Stearns Cos. analyst Amy Butte.
The delicate flowers at JPMorgan may have canceled their daily note but you can’t hold down Vikram’s little soldiers. Read more »
Did you know that last year Citi was a “market leader”? From the mailbag: Read more »
So, the London police recently decided they’ve had it with brothels and have started to crack down on the pay-to-lay establishments. Perhaps you heard about their last raid– codename “Operation Monaco”– through the grapevine or because it was your colleague laying there with a ball gag in his mouth while a terrifying woman with a thick Eastern European accent shouted “Administer the testicle clamps!”? Sound familiar? It might if you’re tight with the “35-year-old from Citibank in Canary Wharf” who had been “availing the services of two Polish hookers” when the cops walked in. Read more »