Citi

  • News

    Citi Bans Threats On Colleagues’ Lives, Use Of Sarcasm Over E-Mail

    If you feel the need to tell the guy who sits next to you that you’re for real going to fucking kill him, do it in the men’s room. In that same vein, smart aleck comment such as “Oh yeah, I really wanna do you, Vikram,” when what you really mean is “not with Alwaleed’s […]

    / Jul 8, 2010 at 1:38 PM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney On “The Problem With Citi”

    I mean, where to start? They’ve got some freaky ass rules in place that say their CEO to build the $10 million Zen Garden of his dreams, you’re not allowed to catch BJ’s on the company jet, and, most offensively, you can’t even have a discussion about putting a whiteboard marker in your underling’s ass […]

    / Jun 29, 2010 at 2:17 PM
  • News

    Citi Has Something It Wants To Say To Debrahlee “They Fired Me Because Of THESE” Lorenzana

    It’s been relatively quiet on the Debrahlee Lorezana front the past week but for some reason– I don’t know, maybe something happened over the weekend that just made Vickles snap and decide he’d had it with this chick– the bank has just put out the following statement re: T’s on an S:

    / Jun 28, 2010 at 12:26 PM
  • News

    Andrew Hall, That One That Vikram Didn’t Fight For, Down 10 Percent

    The castle-dweller, who Citi got rid of last year after the public got its panties in a bunch over his $100 million bonus and Vikram found himself between a rock and a hard place (that place being the US government’s steel-toed boot, just grazing his rectum), informed clients that the fund did everything right, just […]

    / Jun 25, 2010 at 9:15 AM
  • News

    Debrahlee “They Fired Me Because Of THESE” Lorenzana Adds New Shots To Her Defense

    Before he was canned for being too well-versed in BDSM for his own good, Jack Tuckner, the lawyer representing Debrahlee Lorezana had an idea. An idea for his client to come to his office and do an photo-shoot meant to demonstrate the fact that she is a serious business woman, and one whose ass and […]

    / Jun 21, 2010 at 12:33 PM
  • News

    Citi Stripping Employees Of One Of Handful Of Reasons To Work At Citi

    Time was, if you worked at Citi, one of the “perks” of the job was that you could let loose over email in ways other banks had already put the kibosh on. The big C may not pay the most, it may offer little to no prestige, and it definitely lost some fans when the […]

    / Jun 21, 2010 at 10:37 AM
  • News

    Citigroup: Bank With The Heart Of Gold

    They may have thrown a banker out on her rockin’ ass for being too damn hot but you know what? Citi has a heart. Whereas other firms will not hesitate to foreclose on people who aren’t even in default and then go the extra mile by stealing the homeowner’s beloved pet, the House of Vikram […]

    / Jun 16, 2010 at 4:54 PM
  • News

    The Defense Of “Too Hot For Citi” Chick We’ll Never Get To Hear

    As previously mentioned, Debrahlee “I want to be tits on a stick” Lorenzana has fired her original attorney, Jack Tuckner on the “too hot for Citi” case. This may have been a mistake. As you know, one of the complaints made by Lorenzana is that her bosses told her she needed to wear dumpier clothes […]

    / Jun 16, 2010 at 12:28 PM
  • News

    Citi Takes The Gloves Off On Debrahlee Lorenzana Case

    Since the Debrahlee “Too Hot For Citi” Lorenzana story has come out– which has included soft-core porn spreads, morning show appearances, and allegations that DL was canned because her presence distracted her male colleagues, who supposedly couldn’t work in her presence because their “penises were standing up”– Citi has had to keep its thoughts on […]

    / Jun 15, 2010 at 1:06 PM
  • Communiqués, News

    Bill Ackman Breaks Himself Off A Piece Of Citi

    According to Pershing Square Q1 letter, released last night. For those of you keeping up at home, this is remarkable progress. Most investors had serious money riding on this coming out circa September 1. Unfortunately, this meant the missive was a tad light on the jokes and filled with a little less of the emotion […]

    / Jun 9, 2010 at 10:59 AM
  • News

    Debrahlee Lorenzana Speaks

    Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Presented without comment. Other than Jamie Dimon’s gonna be mad. And Jack Tuckner will haunt your dreams.

    / Jun 7, 2010 at 3:14 PM
  • News

    Jamie Dimon Would Like “Too Hot For Citi” Chick To Put A Sock In It

    Last Wednesday (really, it was just last Wednesday), the world was introduced to Debrahlee Lorenzana, the woman claiming she was fired from her job as a “business banker” at Citi for being too hot. Her former employer allegedly told her to tone down said hotness by wearing clothes that didn’t highlight what her lawyer, Jack […]

    / Jun 7, 2010 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    Totally Random, Not Monetarily Compensated People Weigh In On The “Too Hot For Citi” Chick

    Hey hey hey! Look what we have here– it’s a bunch of random Citi customers who apparently remember Debrahlee Lorenzana and have graciously offered to weigh in on the situation, offering quotes that, though they may not help her case against Citi, might certainly attract the attention of certain organizations who require their employees to […]

    / Jun 4, 2010 at 10:34 AM
  • News

    Woman Who Was Fired From Citi For Being “Too Hot” And Her Lawyer Have A Couple More Points To Make (Update: Citi Has Something Else To Say As Well)

    Point number one, as a message to future employers considering requesting that Debs bring her hotness level down to the level of the rest of the office, she’d like to get it out there: “I’m not going to go eat and gain 50 or 100 pounds because my job wants me to be the same […]

    / Jun 3, 2010 at 1:52 PM
  • News

    Vikram Gets In On The Action

    From the mailbag: “2 analysts at Citi were iced. No pics but let’s give them a hand for stepping up to the plate.” Related: Goldman Sachs Not Only Wall Street Firm To Get In On Icing Phenom

    / May 27, 2010 at 4:20 PM
  • News

    Cramer: Get Yourself A Piece Of Citi ASAP

    Faster, Vikram wants a pony!

    / May 27, 2010 at 2:38 PM
  • News

    Get Thee To The Citi Cafeteria

    …where they’re engraving flasks, $10/pop. One of Uncle Vik’s many little ideas for up the joint.

    / May 25, 2010 at 5:00 PM
  • MBAs, News

    Jamie Dimon, Lloyd Blankfein Moving Up In The (MBA) World

    The president may not appreciate them but you know what? Screw that guy. JD and LB don’t need him when they’ve got the votes of MBA Candidates. CNN Money’s annual ranking of the top companies business students want to work for is out and apparently these kids want a piece of James D and his […]

    / May 24, 2010 at 12:45 PM

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