• News

    Vikram Is Watching You

    Team Citi can’t keep track of its own money, but they will track yours and that of your neighbor, thanks to the Bundle, which “removes the veil of secrecy from how other people save and spend their money.” For example, you can learn that “Singles, 36- to 49-year-olds in Dallas spend $57 per month on […]

    / Feb 26, 2010 at 3:13 PM
  • News

    Correction: Citi Loves The Gays

    There were some rumors today that Citi hated the gays after the bank account of Web site Fabulis was shut down. But Citi now says it was all based on technical issues and the account has been unblocked, and Fabulis just wants to put the whole thing behind them. Also, Citi would like to remind […]

    / Feb 25, 2010 at 6:00 PM
  • News

    Citi, Community Organizer, Love Giver, Neighborhood Rescuer, Therapist

    Ok people, time to stop bitching about Citi and its desire to conquer (destroy) the world with its uber-derivatives. Those people have souls. They just launched a pilot initiative that will allow people to remain in their foreclosed homes for six months in six states and they would like the Blankfeins and Dimons of the […]

    / Feb 12, 2010 at 1:55 PM
  • News

    Citi Not Sweating Downgrade

    S&P revised its outlook on Citi to negative from stable today, but we’re told that no one is losing sleep over it at the bank and this is pretty much a non-event. They all can go back to their blog writing and uber-derivatives-creating safely. S&P’s rationale is that if Financial Armageddon 2.0 were to come, […]

    / Feb 9, 2010 at 12:41 PM
  • News

    Citi’s Big Idea

    The guys at Citi are smarter than anyone else on the Street, which is why they are about to launch the first derivatives EVER that will pay out in the event of a financial crisis. As Chris Whalen, at Institutional Risk Analytics, told us about the news: “It’s cute. Though a bit ironic coming from […]

    / Feb 8, 2010 at 3:30 PM
  • News

    Jefferies Tops League Tables

    In Haitian Donations, according to Bloomberg. • Jefferies • Deutsche Bank • UBS • Citigroup • Bank of America • JPMorgan • Morgan Stanley • Goldman Sachs Earlier: Citi Seems To Care More About Haiti Than Other Banks, God’s Included

    / Jan 26, 2010 at 1:08 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’10: Citi

    Had dinner with a few Citi friends (VP’s and associates) this weekend and the story is as follows. Apparently Citi will tell the public they paid a significant portion of the compensation in stock (~20-30% in cash and the rest stock) and not cash. The reality is that 70-80% of it will be in cash […]

    / Jan 25, 2010 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    Dick Bove and Vikram Will Ride Into the Sunset

    Dick Bove’s weird love story with Citi is one that is complicated and needs a lot of nurturing. Although it will never reach the highs of the one he had with BofA (Ken Lewis was a “visionary and tactician” who “was torn from his post by politicians lacking any of Mr. Lewis’ skills and successes.”) […]

    / Jan 20, 2010 at 11:48 AM
  • News

    The Secret To Making The Big Bucks At Citigroup, Part II

    As you’ve probably heard, it’s not that easy to get rich as an employee of Citi. Sadly, the days of the bank paying hundreds of millions for your shitty hedge fund are pretty much over, unless you’ve got something really special to offer them, in which case, let’s talk. Still, there are a few ways […]

    / Jan 14, 2010 at 12:52 PM
  • News

    Citi IT Guy Wants His Money

    Last June, Citi was supposed to pay five former senior executives millions in severance payouts, but what the bank decided to do, instead, was not make those payment. The ex-employees were owed about $100 million (half of which had been paid out) but not wanting to be compared to AIG which, at the time, was […]

    / Jan 7, 2010 at 11:53 AM
  • News

    The Secret To Making The Big Bucks At Citigroup

    A lot people who work at Citi, relative to other banks and the finance industry at large, make shit money. Obviously, we’re not just talking about the first year rainmakers but up and own the food chain, Uncle Vikula included. But, as previously mentioned, there is one man who was compensated pretty nicely this year. […]

    / Jan 6, 2010 at 4:47 PM
  • News

    Who Needs Bedding?

    From: [redacted at Citi] To: DealBreaker Subject: Today’s the day I might have to kill myself I shit you not, Linens ‘N Things is having a sale in the building cafeteria. What the fuck has my life and career come to?!? Earlier: Come On Down To Vikram’s House Of Jewels!

    / Jan 5, 2010 at 12:52 PM
  • News

    Sandy Weill Is Sad About Citi

    Talk whatever shit you want about the former Citi chairman, and I’m sure you already have, but the man has feelings. Lots of ‘em, which he unloaded on the Times over the weekend. Sandford looks at his old firm and his heart bleeds for what it’s become, namely a place where no one will take […]

    / Jan 4, 2010 at 10:10 AM
  • News

    A Good Two Days, 10 Hours For A Sad Little Boy

    It’s been a profitable week for Little Tim Geithner and the Treasury boys. Hot on the heels of the news that it’s getting its money back from those deadbeats at Citigroup and Wells Fargo comes its successful sale of those zero-cost warrants it got from TCF Financial Corp., a Minnesota bank. The Treasury turned a […]

    / Dec 16, 2009 at 10:28 AM
  • News

    Citigroup And Government Not Seeing Eye To Eye On TARP Repayment

    Why (serious question) do they have to raise any capital at all? Isn’t the fact that they’re “the world’s most global bank in a world that becomes more global every day” good enough? Would a free coupon to Tickle a Vickle Town do the trick? The disagreements are related to last week’s announcement by the […]

    / Dec 7, 2009 at 5:13 PM
  • News

    How To Turn $7.5 Billion Into $966 Million

    This is extremely funny to me.The Emir of Dubai said a few days ago that we in the media “do not understand anything.” We would kindly ask him to have his neighbors (and reluctant benefactors) explain to us the wisdom of this: Because of an investment deal struck two years ago, early in the financial […]

    / Dec 3, 2009 at 11:42 AM
  • News

    Tell Us Exactly What You Think Of Citigroup

    Feeling bashful? Here, a recent hire– Willem Buiter, as Chief Economist– will start: “Citigroup – a conglomeration of worst-practice from across the financial spectrum.” Now you go. Don’t worry about offending Uncle Vik– he already knows you’re thinking it. Quotes of the Day: Buiter On Citi [Felix Salmon]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 11:59 AM
  • News

    Citi: No Hiring ‘Binges’ Going Down On Our Watch

    Earlier today it was rumored that Citi had “kicked off week three of a research department hiring binge that has unemployed sell-side analysts partying like its 1999,” starting with the signing of a multi-year, multi-million dollar guaranteed package for a mid-cap software analyst. Some people thought this was outrageous, due to the fact that the […]

    / Nov 23, 2009 at 5:20 PM
  • News

    And, Yet, Vikram Is Still Down One Zen Garden (UPDATE)

    Someone is not happy at the House of Pandito. To: DealBreaker From: [redacted] Subject: Citi Overpaying for Research Analysts w/ TARP Money Count Vikula, drunk on TARP funds, just kicked off week three of a research department hiring binge that has unemployed sell-side analysts partying like its 1999. One stunning example of their recent largesse: […]

    / Nov 23, 2009 at 2:53 PM
  • News

    Swine Flu At Citi

    It’s not an outbreak. Yet. (Kidding, you know the banks had their people vaccinated before the plebes.) On another note, it’s sort of unclear how this happened, as Citi took pains earlier this year to teach its employees how to wash their hands in an effort to avoid “accidentally” wiping everyone out and closing up […]

    / Nov 17, 2009 at 3:26 PM
  • News

    Maybe Citi Doesn’t Suck So Much

    It’s been a pretty rough couple of years for Citigroup. But a couple of the world’s biggest hedge fund managers seem to think Vikram and Co. have something going. Paulson & Co. bought up a $1.2 billion stake in Citi during the third quarter, while Renaissance Technologies took a more modest $90 million slice. RenTech […]

    / Nov 16, 2009 at 12:17 PM
  • News

    Guy Who Helped Build Citi: My Bad

    John Reed, who played kind of a big role in cobbling together the world’s largest diversified whorehouse, has something to get off his chest: “I’m sorry,” Reed, 70, said in an interview yesterday. “These are people I love and care about. You could imagine emotionally it’s not easy to see what’s happened.” John S. Reed, […]

    / Nov 6, 2009 at 2:33 PM
  • News

    Citi Alternative Investments Gets Much Needed… New Name

    H.L. Mencken famously said, “no one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” But Citigroup’s hedge fund and private equity business seems intent on proving the great skeptic wrong. An awful lot has gone wrong at C in recent years, so maybe the woes of Citi Alternative Investments have passed by your […]

    / Nov 6, 2009 at 8:57 AM
  • News

    The Man Who Sunk Citigroup Launches Hubris Fund

    Having just written a book on the subject (When Mooks Fail, currently #15 on the best-seller list), Charlie G. continues his intrepid reporting on the utter shamelessness of Wall Street. Now, Tom Maheras, the former Citigroup president, is hardly the only person who proves that, no matter how much you lost on subprime bets, […]

    / Nov 5, 2009 at 1:32 PM
  • News

    Citi: We Literally Have No Idea What Mike Mayo Is Talking About

    So Mike Mayo said earlier that Citi “may have to write down about $10 billion in deferred tax assets in the fourth-quarter” and Steve Liesman reports that the House of Vikula had this to say in response: “We have no idea how analysts came to this conclusion.” Here were some earlier drafts of the statement […]

    / Oct 30, 2009 at 3:06 PM
  • News

    You Tell Us What He’s Trying To Say

    Count Vikula: “We are the world’s most global bank in a world that becomes more global every day.” Track 2: “I feel good about our strategic clarity and aspirations.”

    / Oct 15, 2009 at 11:09 AM
  • News

    From The People Who Brought You ‘Citi Never Sleeps’

    All, We are inviting you to celebrate this fall season with us by holding an International Fall Potluck Lunch on Wednesday, October 21st from 12:00 to 2:00pm. Our many successes highlighted in the recent Connection newsletter are a source of joint celebration, and we thought it was time we got together again. Please bring & […]

    / Oct 9, 2009 at 9:35 AM

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