• News

    Citi’s Solution To The Andrew Hall Problem

    Citi has taken a lot of shit for (potentially) paying commodities trader Andrew “C” Hall a hundred million dollar bonus and you know what? They’re sick of it. Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be much Vikram and Co can do to stop the relentless rounds of “you suck,” short of selling the whole damn thing. […]

    / Oct 7, 2009 at 11:01 AM
  • News

    Prince Alwaleed bin Talal Is Ready For The Government To Pack Up And Leave

    He appreciates everything everyone’s done at Citi, but it’s time to move on. Just pack up your shit, and mosey on out of the place. Hit the bricks. Be gone. This has nothing to do with someone itching to reclaim his title as the single largest shareholder of the bank, BTW, or Geithner acting like […]

    / Oct 5, 2009 at 11:03 AM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Citi Is Just Like My Neighbor From Childhood Who Used Beat His Wife

    In his latest column for The Daily Beast, Charlie Gasparino discusses the fact that while “some investors and Sheila Bair” had hoped the government would put Citi out of its misery, the plan is to keep the bank “half-dead and half-alive because in its current, near-vegetative state,” where it can’t do much harm, and focus […]

    / Jul 9, 2009 at 1:28 PM
  • News

    Citi’s Liar Loan Division To Take 2 Week Break

    Citi’s correspondent lending division, which produced $58.5 billion in mortgages last year and probably had a hand in the $28 billion in losses last year, recently sent out a letter to clients notifying them that the unit is shutting down their well oiled machine for two weeks to look into some mortgage applications that didn’t […]

    / Jun 24, 2009 at 9:37 AM
  • News

    Citi Will Not Tolerate Your Tardy Ass, But C-on-C Violence Is A-Okay (Update)

    God love this bank. Citi has a back/middle office in Warren, NJ and also (this’ll make sense in a second) buses that go back/forth between there and its other NYC offices for employees. This dude recently (Thursday) got fired for lateness, but takes company transportation to work everyday, so it’s clearly not his fault. It […]

    / Jun 17, 2009 at 3:41 PM
  • News

    Citi “Hopes” To Repay TARP…..Someday

    Citi Chairman Dick Parsons is on board with the whole $45 billion TARP repayment thing, but isn’t quite so brazen as to issue a timetable that the bank will never meet. But this is not to say that Citi doesn’t have a credible, well thought out plan for addressing its massive bailout. Parson said Citi […]

    / Jun 15, 2009 at 3:52 PM
  • News

    Citi Not Afraid Of A Little Disclosure Risk

    While UBS is busy trying to minimize the damage from its principal protected note lawsuits, Citigroup is forging ahead with its PPN offerings. Citi has sold $211 million of the notes so far in 2009 and is not worried about investors mistaking the words ‘principal protection’ for safe. Notes tied to the performance of the […]

    / Jun 12, 2009 at 11:18 AM
  • News

    Citi To Raise Fresh Capital?

    By suing the pants off the girls at left? I’d say it’s a distinct possibility. Katie Shea and Susie Levitt, NYU students, who identify themselves as “recessionista entrepeneurs,” have started a line of flat shoes that can be folded into small handbags. The duo got the idea for the company after a summer of hoofing […]

    / Jun 1, 2009 at 2:12 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit’s Biggest Mistake At Citi Was Taking The Job In The First Place

    Just kidding, he claims! Count Vikula spoke at a “fireside chat” at Harvard Business School yesterday, and courtesy of a Dealbreaker reader in attendance, we’ve got some highlights. When asked about his biggest mistakes, he first offered the crowd-pleasing, “Taking this job and then staying in it,” to much laughter. Then he remembered he wasn’t […]

    / Apr 23, 2009 at 9:03 AM
  • News

    What’s The Story With Citi?

    Rumor has it that significant long preferred – short common positions have been “dancing the corpse” this morning. Also, in the absence of great borrows in the common, a number of synthetic shorts are supposedly floating around out there at 4 and 5 strikes, (though holding any short with strikes this low strikes us as […]

    / Apr 14, 2009 at 10:07 AM
  • News

    Citi Cracks Down On Travel

    Everyone’s flying coach! And by “everyone,” we of course mean the peons. Vikram and Co. will get their private jet yet. From: Morgan McKenney, CFO – Global Transaction Services Sent: Monday, January 26, 2009 6:54 PM To: *AA All Global Transaction Services Employees Subject: GTS Expense Restrictions Dear GTS Colleagues: Given the challenging macroeconomic environment […]

    / Jan 27, 2009 at 9:12 AM
  • News

    You’ll Have To Direct Your Train Complaints Elsewhere

    You see, Robert Rubin will, apparently, be resigning from Citi. Update: The Journal has it. To wit: While Mr. Rubin has defended his performance since joining Citigroup in 1999, insisting that the bank’s problems were due to wider turmoil in the financial system, not failures by Citigroup, he is “tired of it,” a person familiar […]

    / Jan 9, 2009 at 3:10 PM
  • News

    That Wasn’t Sugar

    All depositors are fully protected and there is expected to be no cost to the Deposit Insurance Fund. Wachovia did not fail; rather, it is to be acquired by Citigroup Inc. on an open bank basis with assistance from the FDIC. […] The FDIC has entered into a loss sharing arrangement on a pre-identified pool […]

    / Sep 30, 2008 at 11:23 AM
  • News


    Wachovia Begins Early Deal Talks With Citi [Dealbook]

    / Sep 26, 2008 at 4:19 PM
  • News

    Latest Member Of The Stadium Name Curse Club

    The WaMu name on the 5,000-seat theater at Madison Square Garden is likely to change because of the seizure of Washington Mutual by federal regulators on Thursday. The nation’s largest savings and loan — which came to symbolize the excesses of mortgage lending — was sold almost in its entirety to JPMorgan Chase for $1.9 […]

    / Sep 26, 2008 at 3:55 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit Mistakenly Given Credit For Joke Of A Tagline

    I don’t know Citi’s Chief Administrative Officer Don Callahan very well and don’t think I want to. Those intimately familiar with the Don might take issue with this and argue that he’s a good guy but would a good guy perpetrate the following outrageous offense on elfin ball of love Vikram Pandit? I think not. […]

    / Sep 8, 2008 at 3:56 PM
  • News

    Citi Will Return To Profitability One Chafed Ass At A Time

    Speaking of reasons you should asked to be fired: it wasn’t included in the recent treatise on how a ban on color copies will make up for zillions in losses, but the paper at Citi’s 390 Greenwich Street “mysteriously went from went from double to single ply last week.” Not to give Vikram any ideas […]

    / Aug 28, 2008 at 12:40 PM
  • News

    Cost Cutting At Citi All Part Of Master Plan But Not The One You Think

    Citi announced a slew of cost cutting measures today, all aimed at reversing the bank’s declining revenues and getting rid of the sad trombone that plays on loop in the lobby. A ban on offsite meetings, mandatory use of both sides of the paper when printing, and the curtailment of color copies (which will be […]

    / Aug 26, 2008 at 11:45 AM
  • News

    Citi Really Hunkering Down And Giving This Thing A Shot

    Big important changes at Citi today! A few people have been appointed to Subcommittees of the Audit Committee and the executive committee, which never met and had few responsibilities beyond setting out leaf cookies, is being disbanded. Now, I know what you’re going to say–deck chairs on the Slocum, etc. Wrong. Insiders tell Dealbreaker that […]

    / Aug 25, 2008 at 2:15 PM
  • News

    “Citigroup Should Break Itself Up”

    [click to view] And Corey Haim should stop doing drugs but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen anytime soon, either. (Both parties are resistant for the same reason: their refusal to change makes for great television. Citi’s just yet to monetize it. And secure appearances from Paulie Shore).

    / Aug 13, 2008 at 9:04 AM
  • News

    What Does Failure Really Sound Like?

    Do you let your ringtone talk for you? Have you been searching high and low for one that will say, “I am down diversified whorehouses, trillions in writedowns, no sleep and, most of all, that jolly, gay, elfin visage“? Then we suggest you run, not walk, to the Citi site where they’ve got two Big […]

    / Aug 11, 2008 at 12:11 PM
  • News

    Writedowns For Everyone!

    Emboldened by Merrill’s courting of public embarrassment, Citi is likely to post third-quarter write-downs of about $8 billion from its exposure to collateralized debt obligations, according to Deutsche Bank analyst Mike Mayo. Analyst sees $8 billion Citi writeoff after Merrill move [Reuters]

    / Jul 29, 2008 at 10:47 AM
  • News

    Credit Suisse: This Is Just Like That Time Citi Was In The Toilet!

    You know, other than now. Credit Suisse analysts issued a report today that is supposed to make you feel better about the “issues” shares of Merrill Lynch, Lehman Brothers and Citi have been having of late, by reminding us that the Big C has so be here before, like that time its shares fell 77 […]

    / Jul 24, 2008 at 3:40 PM
  • News

    Citi To Stay Inefficiently, Unprofitably Huge

    For those of you losing sleep over the thought of shrinkage at the house of Citi, DO NOT FEAR: despite calls by persons with a clue, the great big behemoth wants you to know that’s never going to happen. On a conference call yesterday, chief financial officer Gary Crittenden told analysts– worried that this last […]

    / Jul 24, 2008 at 9:36 AM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney’s Husband Stages Dramatic Intepretation Of Her Assault On Citi

    Remember way back in the day, when Meredith Whitney made a name for herself– Dollar Dominatrix– by downgrading the big C, and she got a few “fuck you, bitch” emails from investors and her husband, pro-wrestler-cum-liquid Viagra distributor John Layfield canceled a planned trip to Texas so that he could walk her to and from […]

    / Jul 23, 2008 at 10:25 AM
  • News

    Hiring Freeze At Citi?

    Supposedly Citi has instituted a “full” hiring freeze. Sort of makes sense, if they were hoping to not just break even after the recent (and ongoing!) firings, but sad nonetheless for those hoping this would be the year they’d make it to Panditville. No word on how this will effect summers’ offers.

    / Jul 10, 2008 at 9:33 AM
  • News

    Citi To Score Board Member With Financial Acumen

    Barring any last minute violent protests from certain shareholders (Alwaleed) who’ve gotten comfortable with a precipitously falling stock price, Citi is reportedly thisclose to announcing that Harvard Business School dean Jay O. Light will join its board. Though his expertise would be a sharp departure from that which has guided big C of late, the […]

    / Jul 9, 2008 at 10:49 AM
  • News

    Dollar Dominatrix Does Her Thing

    Oppenheimer analyst Meredith Whitney cut her second quarter earnings estimates for Merrill Lynch and Citigroup today, predicting that the firms will lose $4.21 a share and $1.25 a share, respectively, and take writedowns of $5.8 billion and $12.2 billion. Whitney also suggested a reshuffling of management and, taking a cue from fellow analyst Dick Bove, […]

    / Jul 2, 2008 at 12:37 PM

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