Citigroup alums

“You’re a farmer. You can’t control the weather. When you make a Brunello, you have to follow a set of rules. One is no interference with nature. You can’t irrigate in a dry year. I happen to like traditional methods. I’m kind of old school. If you’re someone who balks at following rules, you can still make wine, but you can’t call it a Brunello. You might want a vineyard in Napa Valley instead.” [BusinessWeek]

Perhaps, you thought, that the day Vikram Pandit was abruptly and unceremoniously fired from Citigroup was the end. That we’d lost him for good. That he’d retreat to the his Upper West Side manse and spend his days beefing up his Odd Couple memorabilia collection, or work on that novel about a love that dare not speak its name between a bank CEO and the analyst who only acted like she hated him, or build that Zen garden he’d always wanted that the fucks at Citi never let him have. That he was finished with Wall Street. Well fret not. Uncle Vik wouldn’t never do that to you. Read more »

In a hypothetical scenario, which former treasury secretary, among all the living ones, do you think would be most likely to drink his face off and fall in a pool? Process of elimination should point to Larry Summers, with Hank Paulson being an interesting dark horse, right? Except, wrong! Big Poppa, that we know of, was sober enough to stay standing last night and Hank Paulson is yet to encounter his own personal Sophie’s Choice, wherein a vindictive Dick Fuld forces him to pick between a glass of red and the life of an innocent Warbler. Which leaves door number three: Bob “I took a bath in grain alcohol before getting here” Rubin. Read more »