CNBC

Are you ready? Surely Maria’s done her homework and prepared for this interview like any other, but in the event she’s looking for some last minute questions, any suggestions?

From the random walking on set, the declaration of love for Lloyd Blankfein, the lack of an indoor voice, the accusation that David Faber dyes his hair and later, the shoulder squeezes and kisses on the head, KL’s got regular contributor material written all over him. Just something to think about. Read more »

After his 2005 career-ending concussion, Wayne Chrebet knew he needed some diversion to stay busy. He invested in racehorses, opened a restaurant in Hempstead, NY called “Bar Social,” and picked up boxing. Still, though, he felt like something was missing. Wayne needed some occupational passion in his life, and he also needed to avoid his wife, who was considering murdering him.

“She told me, ‘You’ve got to get out of the house or we’re going to get divorced,’” Mr. Chrebet said. “We got to the point during those first couple years where we were going to 10 a.m. movies and stuff. And we were like, ‘This is stupid.’ We’d just look at each other.”

Before he was forced to retire from football, he’d taken a liking to managing his own money, become a “self-professed CNBC junkie” and dabbled in advising his teammates in how to maximize their coin. So he figured, maybe I should get a job on Wall Street? And as luck would have it, he’d recently killed Morgan Stanley VP Ed Moldaver during a couple poker games at the local country club. Moldaver was so impressed with Chrebs that he offered him a gig, where he currently works on a 6-man wealth management team, mostly “meeting with potential clients and determining whether his group is a good fit for them” while leaving the stock and bond picking to “the professionals.” He loves the new career and takes it “very seriously,” though it’s not just dicking around and at times can be brutal. In fact, he almost didn’t even make it. Read more »

Cramer favors Jockey, 100% cotton (Erin thinks he should try a blend), while Uncle Jim suggests his colleague give Saran Wrap a shot. Read more »

As previously discussed, CNBC has been running a new series of interviews in which Becky Quick sits down with some financial heavyweight and asks him to discuss the “worst trade” he ever made. While seemingly the stuff of tedious job interviews, wherein applicants are asked to name their worst quality, such as being a workaholic, so far they’ve actually been quite interesting and shined a light on aspects of the subjects’ personalities that have helped shaped their storied careers but may not have been known to the outside world. For instance, Warren Buffett has a love of buxom milkmaids and this morning we learned that Larry Fink would not have gotten to where he is today without a serious stumble that resulted in making the conscious decision to stop second-guessing just how much ass he kicks. Read more »

As a tribute to Dennis, let’s all share our favorite moments over the last few years. I’ll start. Read more »

Earlier this morning it was reported that CNBC’s Dennis Kneale, he of digital dickweed fame, would be parting ways with the network after his current contract expires in the next few weeks (apparently CNBC is unwilling to increase is current salary of around $500,000/year). I don’t know if it’s because a building manager got wind of the rumors and started cleaning out his office while he was still in it or what but Kneale felt the need a short while ago to make one thing clear. Read more »

If you are part of the on-air talent team at CNBC, you must write a book. It’s in the contract. The network knows the people want it and why deny the people the musings of these celebrated raconteurs? It’d border on criminal. David Faber and the Jabroni Pony’s tomes came out last year, Maria Bartiromo has done two in the last three months, we’re told Mark Haines is putting the finishing touches on his memoir, Let Me Tell You What I Really Think Of These People and the latest contribution to literature and understanding comes from Michelle Caruso-Cabrera. You may not know it but this woman has seen a lot in her years in the markets. The nightmare of ’73-’74; the joys of being at the ground floor when JWM was gearing up the boys at Solly; the coke-fueled days riding the Nasdaq like a Thai hooker during the late ’90s, then riding it down. She was cutting her teeth trading EM bonds when most of you were crapping yellow, so maybe consider taking a listen. Read more »

So, there was a slightly awkward segment at the end of Street Signs this afternoon, wherein Erin Burnett had to cut a bitch (/guest) who was apparently “being a prick even by finance/CNBC standards.” Read more »

On the whole, most people do not watch CNBC after leaving the office, as the nighttime programming leaves little opportunity to see a breast to pop out, Mark Haines awkwardly trying to do an Australian accent while co-hosting with Amanda Drury or a fight between anchors and/or guests. That’s very likely to change on tomorrow night’s episode of “Meeting of the Minds.” You see, gang, it’s pretty well-known at this point that Hank Paulson is a lover of birds. For years the former Treasury Secretary has spoken of his passion for feathers, and in his autobiography devoted a whopping 9 pages to the things, which was more than was afforded to Warren Buffett, Erin Burnett and David Einhorn, among others. Hank, it’s quite obvious, would kill a man in cold blood if it meant saving his special friends. He would also feel compelled to avenge the death of bird– wing for a wing and all that shit. And I don’t even want to think what he’d do if he were to, say, come face to face with a guy who massacred an entire flock of them. Which is why a press-release this morning sent shivers up my spine. Read more »

On the one hand, cnbcglobalheadquarters.com is a bit clunky. On the other, the network’s anchors announce at least once a segment that they’re “broadcasting live from CNBC global headquarters,” so maybe it’s worth something to them, branding-wise. The real question is, are they willing to negotiate with the convicted criminal currently holding the url hostage, who goes by the name #1 Stunna and is willing to sell it for no less than $100 million? Apparently Stunna has reached out to CNBC already but so far, there’s been no interest,** though he knows they’ll eventually come around if they know what’s good for them (“Stunna states that the lawyers that work for CNBC ‘must be clowns’ to not see the value in that as a domain name”).

**Or they may simply be intimidated by the pictures of Stunna wearing a Raiders hat sitting a crotch rocket.