• News

    Barry Ritholtz: How To Fix CNBC

    Turn it off. Kidding, though that’d probably work. Barry Ritholtz was recently asked what he’d do to fix “financial television.” As there seems to be one network in particular need of help, he’s addressed what the good people over in Englewood Cliffs can do to make themselves more watchable. A few pointers from BR: 1. […]

    / Jun 8, 2009 at 12:56 PM
  • News

    Restricted Crock

    CNBC is winding itself up into a frenzy preparing for Liddy’s testimony (they aren’t that excited yet, they’ve only got a 4-box up so far) and they seem to have come to the consensus that restricted stock, not cash, is the best bonus structure to apply in situations like this. This baffles me. How do […]

    / Mar 18, 2009 at 11:43 AM
  • News

    Hopelessly Conflicted

    We know we aren’t the only ones who enjoy watching the folks at CNBC agonize over their evaporating “performance aligned long-term compensation.” Given where GE stock is headed after the ix-nay on the ividend-day (presently down about 9% 10% after recovering a few percentage points from the low point) we bet it is a volatile […]

    / Mar 4, 2009 at 10:49 AM
  • News

    New CNBC Broadcast Book Guideline: When Showing Tim, Show Industrials

    Once they find a correlation, they are about as likely to let go as a pitbull clamping down on a small child.

    / Feb 10, 2009 at 3:03 PM
  • News

    The Magic Of Television

    Normally, this wouldn’t bother me. Perhaps it is because it is Friday. Perhaps it is because I had to watch the Ken Lewis interview. Perhaps it is the chemical burns I have after shaking hands with Robert Rubin the other day. Whatever the case, this threatens to send me screaming into the darkness today: What […]

    / Feb 6, 2009 at 12:23 PM
  • News

    First, Open Source Modeling, Now, Open Source Fiscal Policy?

    We are huge fans of William Ackman (call us, please?) and Pershing Square Capital. So, it will be no surprise to you that we loved the panache of his “open source modeling” move to make his short-case for MBIA. So, why not open source fiscal policy? I mean, how much confidence do we really have […]

    / Oct 11, 2008 at 3:56 PM
  • News


    The commercials for used catheters on CNBC– why?

    / Jul 30, 2008 at 9:08 AM
  • News

    FoxBusiness To Close In On CNBC

    In a mere 69 years. As the logical bubble bursting follow-up to the Washington Post‘s report that FBN averaged 8,000 viewers during daytime programming and 20,000 viewers in primetime for July, up from 6,000 and 15,000 at the start of the year, Portfolio‘s Jeff Bercovici crunched some numbers and found that victory over CNBC is […]

    / Jul 29, 2008 at 3:10 PM
  • News

    The Mystery of The Missing Mammaries

    Stop what you’re doing and give me your full attention because we’ve got a scandal bigger than Merrill on our hands. Here is the shit, feel free, nay encouraged, nay obligated to disseminate because that’s how super serious it is:

    / Jul 29, 2008 at 12:35 PM
  • News

    Congratulations, Erin Burnett!

    The CNBC star has been named to the top of TelevisionWeek‘s Hot List for 2008. Now, please proceed with the inevitable debate over who is “really” the hottest over at Englewood Cliffs (starts with a ‘M,’ ends with a ‘ark Haines’). Dynamic Industry Leaders 35 and Younger [TV Week]

    / Jul 24, 2008 at 10:57 AM
  • News

    Ken Langone Hates The New York Times

    Legendary Wall Streeter Ken Langone, who once attempted to purchase the New York Stock Exchange, hurled insults at the New York Times this morning on CNBC’s Squawk Box. He was describing an op-ed he’s been working on for the Wall Street Journal about his long battle with disgraced former New York governor and Eliot Spitzer. […]

    / Jul 22, 2008 at 10:26 AM
  • News

    The Irrelevancy Of Our Lame Duck President

    It’s hard to think of a starker demonstration of the irrelevancy of George Bush than the split screen running now on CNBC. On the right, Fed chairman Ben Bernanke answers lawmakers’ questions on Capital Hill, warning everyone that economic growth will continue to be anemic for longer than expected. On the left, George Bush silently […]

    / Jul 15, 2008 at 10:58 AM
  • News

    Hedge Funds Fled Bear Stearns Before The Rumors Hit

    We’re a bit of a one-trick pony around here today, fighting the good fight against all those nasty speculating reporters and bankers claiming rumors are having damaging effects on the market. But it’s getting late in the day. Bank of America is still pretending it doesn’t need to cut its dividend. Merrill still won’t admit […]

    / Jul 9, 2008 at 4:26 PM
  • News

    Dennis Kneale To Jail?

    Many of you were outraged at the comment made by Bearpont Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon to Charlie Rose that the SEC should investigate the “smoke” surrounding the fall of Bear Stearns, because the mixture of gases and suspended carbon particles supposedly suggests that not only was Jimmy Cayne getting high at the office, but that […]

    / Jul 9, 2008 at 12:38 PM
  • News

    Don’t You Dare Question My Journalistic Integrity When I’m Questioning Your Journalistic Integrity

    Bryan Burrough’s recent Vanity Fair article named many parties as suspect in the “murder” of Bear Stearns. But while Citadel, SAC Capital, Goldman Sachs, Jimmy Cayne’s substance abuse problem, Corey Haim and the entire cast of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose really only got quick mentions as possibilities, the pages devoted to CNBC suggested that the […]

    / Jul 2, 2008 at 3:58 PM
  • News

    Is It? Someone Call Buffett, He’s Got To Know

    Joe Kernen: “Take Becky out to Chicago next time, the Merc is full of pervs.”

    / Jul 1, 2008 at 9:14 AM
  • News

    Who Knew?

    Larry Kudlow, “huge fan of Carly Simon.”

    / Jun 24, 2008 at 10:41 AM
  • CNBC

    Who Stands Out In A Bad Way At CNBC?

    Last week we pointed out a feature in Marie Claire magazine in which CNBC anchor Becky Quick posed as a “Fashion Expert” telling a twenty-something bond trading girl how to dress for Wall Street. We couldn’t help but notice that it seems Becky offers a veiled insult at one of her fellow CNBC anchors when […]

    / Jun 19, 2008 at 9:00 AM
  • News

    Just Asking

    Are we excited for a week and a half of Dennis Kneale and his funky glasses, who are filling in for Dylan Ratigan on “The Call”? If it means we’ll finally get an answer to Charlie Gasparino’s question “does Dennis Kneale use hookers?” we are.

    / Apr 16, 2008 at 11:26 AM
  • News

    Did Warren Buffet Turn The Tables On CNBC And Attempt To Poison Them? No.

    Congratulations, CNBC (.com)! The network’s website, which has heretofore only been recognized as a destination for Mark Haines fanboys interested in finding out what kind of sandwich** the anchor ate for lunch, has been nominated for a Webby. Hard core stalking of the Oracle of Omaha (which included an attempted burglary by Bob Pisani) apparently […]

    / Apr 10, 2008 at 10:10 AM
  • News

    Greenspan: No Regrets

    As part of his Defending the ‘Span Tour ’08, Alan Greenspan appeared live via satellite today on CNBC, in a rare “not nude in the tub” post-retirement interview. We had the thing on mute, but this is how we imagine it played out: Al: Maria, is that a new perfume, or is it just my […]

    / Apr 8, 2008 at 6:25 PM
  • News

    I’d Like To Hear What No-Sleeves Has To Say

    CNBC ran a segment earlier this morning about how to deal with workplace bullies. It’s not entirely clear why. Perhaps as a companion piece to FBN’s “Be A Dick” special, perhaps because they’ve just given up entirely. MarketWatch’s Herb Greenberg argues that having a resident jerk in the office is good for business, while Gary […]

    / Apr 8, 2008 at 12:40 PM
  • News

    If You Like That, You Should See David Faber’s Big Toe

    I think CNBC’s Rebecca Jarvis is a pretty girl, I do. But this homemade video of what appear to be clips from her days on The Apprentice don’t do much for me, probably because I don’t have a foot fetish. According to our last reader poll, though, that’s not the case for the vast majority […]

    / Apr 2, 2008 at 12:51 PM
  • News

    Not Enough Cock, Coke or Money: The Few Things That Didn’t Suck about CNBC’s Seth Tobias Special

    Let me tell you a little something about CNBC’s For the Love of Money: The Death of Seth Tobias– it was awesome. April Fool’s! The thing sucked. And I say that as the person probably most excited about it outside of the regulars at Cupid’s, who’ve gotten some great publicity out of this whole thing, […]

    / Apr 1, 2008 at 5:50 PM
  • News

    More To The Point: Which TV Anchors Have Been Propositioned By, And Turned Down The Advances Of, Jimmy Cayne?

    You know which saucy CNBC minx we never write about, not even to speculate on her personal life? Michelle Caruso-Cabrera. No offense to MCC, she seems like a good journalist and all, it’s just that Carney’s taste tends to swing more Anglo-Saxon and I prefer to objectify men like Mark Haines, who really have it […]

    / Apr 1, 2008 at 11:40 AM
  • News

    This Sounds About Right

    Susan Krakower sits, stands, perches, then paces the length of her windowless office. A crease deepens down the center of her forehead. In two hours “Fast Money” airs, and something’s not right. The show she created isn’t moving fast enough in its second segment, and that’s a problem. “I want the trades – get right […]

    / Mar 31, 2008 at 4:10 PM
  • News

    You Can Trust Our Network. Even If You Won’t Be Listening To A Word We Say.

    [Hilarious ad in today’s NYT and WSJ, via MediaBistro]

    / Mar 24, 2008 at 2:43 PM
  • Eliot Spitzer

    Mark Haines Asks The Hard Questions (Though, Let’s Be Honest, The Goomah Renders This A Non-Issue)

    Circa 9:20 am, after Gasparino says on-air that Spitzer is expected to resign at 11 today: Mark Haines: “Charlie Gasparino, who I can assure you cannot afford [the rates at Emperors Club VIP]” Erin Burnett: [weird, are we going there? look] Mark Haines: “What? Who among us can?”

    / Mar 12, 2008 at 10:39 AM

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