Coffee

In related news, cat got your tongue? Continue reading »

Dear Greenlight Capital Investors

October performance. Continue reading »

If you’re jammed and don’t have time for that, just skip to the last slide to check out David Einhorn’s breathtaking foam artistry:

Otherwise, proceed. Continue reading »

Does your gig necessitate waking up at some ungodly hour? Or working 100+ a week? Continue reading »

You guys want to hang onto your clients? Get video production on the horn and find an empty parking garage ASAP (turn your volume down, this one’s on auto-play). Continue reading »

A couple weeks ago, we met Toby Carroll, a New Zealand-born real estate analyst for HSBC currently stationed in Dubai, who’d spent the last two months in prison. Carroll had ended up there after his ex-girlfriend, Priscilla Ferreira, found him and a new girl, Danielle Spencer, in his apartment and proceeded to start slashing curtains, furniture, etc, and go after the Danielle with a knife. The police were called and all three were put in jail.

Carroll has since been freed but faces charges of “sex outside marriage.” Last week his ex spoke, denying reports she had been dumped by Carroll a day before she caught him in bed with Spencer, and claiming they were going to get married. Today Spencer, who “lapdanced her way across the USA and Australia” before relocating to Abu Dhabi where she found work “in the property business,” has been good enough to add yet more color to the story. The new details include the fact that she was on her second and not first date with Toby when she went back to his place for “coffee,” a vivid description of being splayed out on her stomach when Priscilla jumped on top of her and why she didn’t fight back. Continue reading »

What else do you have to look forward to upon entering an employment agreement with the House of Dimon, according to its latest investment banking recruiting video?

* Having your day narrated by a British man

* Taking part in high-level discussions that go something like this:

“Do we want more exposure to the gulf?”

“Hurricanes go through the gulf.”

“Oh. So no.”

* Scaring the shit out of pigeons Continue reading »