• lucarelli


    Investor Relations Exec Convicted Of Insider Trading Has Above Average Driving Skills To Fall Back On

    The 52-year-old said his inside trading was fueled by drugs and resentment of the Midtown firm, which he said owed him money on commissions. “I didn’t take the drugs to get high, I did it because I can’t drink coffee — that’s a painful trip to the bathroom,” Lucarelli said…Lucarelli, occasionally tearing up, now lives […]

    / Jan 23, 2015 at 2:48 PM
  • Bill Ackman

  • kenneth-griffin


    Ken Griffin Strikes Fear Into The Hearts Of Citadel Employees With Long Pauses, Strange Coffee Ritual

    Do people who are naturally intimidating become hedge fund managers or does becoming a hedge fund manager make one intimidating? Psychologists have long looked for an answer and while the data has so far been inconclusive, years of research have given us some insight into the varying intimidation tactics– innate or by design– used at […]

    / Sep 11, 2013 at 2:50 PM
  • michael_penn--300x300


    Goldman Sachs Hopeful Differentiating Himself Outside 200 West With Coffee, Donuts, Hot Chicks

    Michael Penn has vowed to stay put until someone makes him an offer.

    / Aug 12, 2013 at 5:46 PM
  • pablosushi


    Bloomberg: How Wall Street’s Stomachs Fared During The Hurricane

    …when Falcone and five LightSquared colleagues met over a meal of white-truffle pasta and Barolo at a Washington restaurant in January, they failed to come up with anything they could have done differently, according to a person who was there who asked not to be identified because the meeting was private.– Falcone Waits For Icahn Doubling Down On Network

    When JPMorgan, which earned the most of any of the six banks over the four quarters, decided to thank employees for their performance this year, it sent 161,680 individually wrapped buttercream-frosted, chocolate chip, oatmeal-raisin and sugar cookies to retail branches and call centers in the U.S., U.K., Philippines and India.– No Joy On Wall Street As Biggest Banks Earn $63 Billion

    Cooperman, 68, said in an interview that he can’t walk through the dining room of St. Andrews Country Club in Boca Raton, Florida, without being thanked for speaking up. At least four people expressed their gratitude on Dec. 5 while he was eating an egg-white omelet, he said.–Bankers Join Billionaires To Debunk ‘Imbecile’ Attack On Top 1%

    American International Group Chief Executive Officer Robert Benmosche, 66, a Kappa Beta Phi member who disclosed in October that he was undergoing treatment for cancer, was there. He looked energetic, the two attendees said. In 1930, the dinner was beefsteak. This year, the meal featured lobster salad, shrimp, pigs-in-a-blanket, lamb chops and pistachio ice cream.– Wall Street Secret Society Kappa Beta Phi Adds Dealmakers With Lehman Rite

    Wall Street headhunter Daniel Arbeeny said his “income has gone down tremendously.” On a recent Sunday, he drove to Fairway Market in the Red Hook section of Brooklyn to buy discounted salmon for $5.99 a pound.–Wall Street Bonus Withdrawal Means Trading Aspen For Coupons

    The clam-juice cocktails at the private Stock Exchange Luncheon Club, where brokers lined up three deep at the raw bar, contained tomato juice, cooled water from boiled chowder clams, ketchup, celery salt and the option of a freshly shucked clam. Add vodka and they called it a Red Snapper.–How America Ceded Capitalism’s Bastion To German Boerse Seizing Big Board

    As someone once said, you can find out a lot about a man or woman’s character during moments of great crisis. Do they fall apart? Do they become shells of their former selves? Do the worst parts of them come out? Do they turn their backs on everything they supposedly once stood for? Or do they, even in moments of darkness, rise to the occasion and demonstrate the morals and values they held when times were good are the very same ones they choose to live by when times are bad? For Bloomberg News reporter Max Abelson, Hurricane Sandy was a test. Would he turn in an article containing few if any reference to the food people consumed during the natural disaster? Or would his commitment to bringing readers exhaustive details re: what his Wall Street subjects eat (see above, here, and here) burn ever bright, to the extent that sources and interviewees elaborating on their situation beyond provisions would find themselves cut off and told, “Just the food and drink, toots. I got a lotta calls to make”?

    Luckily for us, it was the latter.

    Herewith, an accounting of things stuffed down the gullets of Wall Street over the last two days:

    * Murry Stegelmann, Kilimanjaro Advisors: expensive wine, green tea.

    “I had to go to the wine cellar and find a good bottle of wine and drink it before it goes bad,” Murry Stegelmann, 50, a founder of investment-management firm Kilimanjaro Advisors LLC, wrote in an e-mail after he lost power at 6 p.m. on Oct. 29 in Darien, Connecticut. The bottle he chose, a 2005 Chateau Margaux, was given 98 points by wine critic Robert Parker and is on sale at the Westchester Wine Warehouse for $999.99. “Outstanding,” Stegelmann said. He started the day with green tea at Starbucks, talking with neighbors about the New York Yankees’ future and moving boats to the parking lot of Darien’s Middlesex Middle School.

    * Wilson Ervin, Credit Suisse: the most depressing breakfast ever.

    Erin…went to the bank’s office at 11 Madison Ave. afterward to work on evaluations of managing directors and financial regulation. He ate a lunch of Raisin Bran, coffee and a banana from the 7-Eleven downstairs, he said.

    * Pablo Salame, Goldman Sachs: sushi, the piece of which Abelson or his research assistant counted.

    He posted a picture of 21 pieces of sushi on a Twitter account in his name on Oct. 29. “Only in NYC, Seamless Sandy sushi delivery in TriBeCa, Monday 730 pm,” the post said.

    * Wilbur Ross, WL Ross And Co: a painting.

    “I was scheduled to come back Sunday night, and I decided not to, because everything during the week would be canceled anyway,” said Ross, chairman of private-equity firm WL Ross & Co. “I’m stuck in Palm Beach.”
    He stayed in touch with colleagues using a fax machine along with phone and e-mail. His Florida home includes a painting by Rene Magritte of petrified blue apples, an image that is also depicted on a custom-made Van Cleef & Arpels watch he owns, he told Bloomberg News this year.

    * JPMorgan employees: many of the culinary delights its cafeteria offers on a regular basis but NO DUMPLINGS.

    JPMorgan, which sent out more than a dozen hurricane updates to its employees featuring detailed weather maps, kept parts of its 270 Park Ave. cafeteria open yesterday. Danishes and scones were available near the salad bar, and the bank’s deli had sandwiches with grilled vegetables. The dumpling bar was closed.


    Wall Street Finds Sandy Silver Lining In Wine, Monopoly [Bloomberg]
    Related: Things People Have Eaten in the Presence of Bloomberg Reporter Max Abelson [Daily Intel]

    / Oct 31, 2012 at 12:51 PM
  • Einhorn

  • Hedge Funds

    Dear Greenlight Capital Investors

    October performance.

    / Nov 1, 2011 at 9:56 AM
  • Hedge Funds

    If You Only Read One 110-Page Presentation On Coffee Today, Make It This One

    If you’re jammed and don’t have time for that, just skip to the last slide to check out David Einhorn’s breathtaking foam artistry: Otherwise, proceed.

    / Oct 19, 2011 at 9:56 AM
  • News

    Arriving Early And/Or Staying Late At The Office? Consider Coke Over Coffee As The Responsible Thing To Do

    Does your gig necessitate waking up at some ungodly hour? Or working 100+ a week?

    / Jun 9, 2011 at 2:22 PM
  • News

    PIMCO, Jeff Gundlach Get Run For Their Money From Bond Vigilantes Team At M&G Investments

    You guys want to hang onto your clients? Get video production on the horn and find an empty parking garage ASAP (turn your volume down, this one’s on auto-play).

    / Mar 9, 2011 at 10:27 AM
  • News

    Lap Dancer HSBC Analyst Went To Jail For Speaks

    A couple weeks ago, we met Toby Carroll, a New Zealand-born real estate analyst for HSBC currently stationed in Dubai, who’d spent the last two months in prison. Carroll had ended up there after his ex-girlfriend, Priscilla Ferreira, found him and a new girl, Danielle Spencer, in his apartment and proceeded to start slashing curtains, […]

    / Feb 1, 2011 at 12:45 PM
  • News

    When People Spill Coffee At JPMorgan, It Always Lands In The Trash Without Making A Mess

    What else do you have to look forward to upon entering an employment agreement with the House of Dimon, according to its latest investment banking recruiting video? * Having your day narrated by a British man * Taking part in high-level discussions that go something like this: “Do we want more exposure to the gulf?” […]

    / Oct 22, 2010 at 11:41 AM
  • News

    Matt Taibbi Is Taking A Break From The Things He Loves

    It wasn’t too long ago that when faced with a nonconfrontational line of questioning, but one he nevertheless did not appreciate as it dared to do anything but revere him for the hero he is, that Matt Taibbi’s go-to move was to throw a scalding hot cup of coffee in the face of his offender. […]

    / Oct 20, 2010 at 12:55 PM
  • News

    Budding White Collar Criminals: Unless You Want To Have Your Ass Thrown In Solitary Confinement, You Will Listen To Every Damn Word Jeff Skilling Has To Say

    Jeff Skilling was once president of a company that (claimed to) rake in over $100 billion annually. Now he’s had to kiss carbs good-bye (“You don’t want to get sick in here,” he said, as he talked about practicing yoga, walking four miles a day, and avoiding carbohydrate-heavy meals to stay fit) and beg reporters […]

    / Jun 14, 2010 at 12:00 PM
  • News

    Horse Semen, Scalding Hot Coffee: Matt Taibbi Suddenly Making So Much Sense

    When all is said and done, there are two types of men in this world. In one camp you have the kind who, when faced with criticism, will ably defend themselves, either through words or fists, or simply brush it off. In the other, you have the impotent little bitches. These are the ones who […]

    / Feb 25, 2010 at 11:47 AM
  • News

    UBS: Our Coffee Sucks, Too!

    The Swiss will not be outdone by Goldman or Blackstone: “In keeping with the theme, the coffee at UBS (along with many,many other things) is shit. It tastes like motor oil mixed with bird feces and vinegar. It’s Douwe Egberts and the worst part is the machines cost thousands (3 of them on this floor […]

    / Dec 24, 2009 at 11:40 AM
  • News

    Crap Coffee Situation Not Unique To Goldman Sachs

    Yesterday we discussed the matter of whether or not the coffee provided by Goldman Sachs to its employees tastes like ass. The consensus from the inside seemed to be yes, it does. Today, emboldened by the brave souls at GS who stood up to say to Lloyd Blankfein, via bitching to the press, “this coffee […]

    / Dec 23, 2009 at 3:59 PM
  • News

    Does Goldman Sachs’ Coffee Taste Like Ass?

    Maybe! And it wouldn’t be the first time Lloyd and Co. tried to break morale via unconscionable snack and beverage conditions. According to a mole, Goldman apparently stocks the cheapest, worst generic coffee imaginable in its staff kitchens – despite protests from the caffeine-deficient. “It’s beyond horrible,” explained our source. “You work a lot of […]

    / Dec 22, 2009 at 12:00 PM
  • News

    Non-Dairy Creamer

    Sympathies to my Starbucks junkies in the audience who need it between the hours of 5:30 and 8:30 pm—the drug pushers are closing up shop for three hours tonight to re-train the 135,000 baristas that didn’t get fired last week on how to make your bullshit drink. CEO Howard Schultz said he thinks the tutorial […]

    / Feb 26, 2008 at 1:26 PM

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