Back in August, a Dartmouth student named Andrew Lohse made a simple request of his peers: to stop being whores for Wall Street. “Should landing jobs prestigious 16-hour-a-day jobs at some faceless hedge fund, where they’ll learn about manipulating capital instead of imagining a freer and more just world be the goal of the valedictorians of Ivy League institutions,” Lohse asked and then answered, “No matter how hard I try, I cannot think of more pathetic ambitions.” Lohse charged the undergraduates to “do better” and by better he meant anything other than being “pulled into what is essentially a vulgar and extortionate system of lending and predatory capitalism which is increasingly underwritten by what remains of the public’s coffers.” Was Lohse’s argument a persuasive one? Did the image of him “vomiting in my mouth” at the idea of his peers becoming financial services employees cause anyone to reconsider? Read more »
college
Dartmouth Grads Still Into Wall Street, Despite One Man’s Campaign Against “A Field That Sanitizes The Intellect And Offers Almost Nothing To Human Society”
By Bess Levin
Remember Garrett Bauer? For those who need a refresher, GB was a trader (who “mostly worked from home”) who was charged last year for running a decades-long insider trading scam with an M&A attorney, Matthew Kluger, that involved stealing information from several law firms. (In April 2011, 20 FBI agents knocked on Bauer’s door to arrest him which, while terrifying, didn’t come as much of a shock– the duo had recently become suspicious that the authorities were onto them and, naturally, went about destroying evidence, a process Bauer recounted to a cooperating witness in a conversation he didn’t realize was being recorded, telling the CC: “My heart was beating ten thousand miles an hour. I went right up to my apartment and I broke the phone in half and went to McDonald’s and put it in two different garabage cans. And someone was watching me. I thought it was an FBI agent. And I asked him, ‘Do you know me? You look familiar.’ And, like, I was so panicked. I literally didn’t sleep that entire night…I can’t sleep. I am waiting for the FBI to ride into my apartment. I am on edge all night thinking they are coming in.”)
Anyway, Bauer ultimately pleaded guilty and is set to be sentenced today. Though he could receive up to 11 years in the big house, a judge will be taking into consideration letters “expressing support or urging leniency” sent on Bauer’s behalf, some of which were written by fans he’s gained working the college lecture circuit the past few months, explaining to undergrads why they don’t want to follow in his footsteps (hint: it involves bunk-beds). Read more »
Duke University Grads Waste Plenty Of “Unique Intelligence” Working On Wall Street Too, You Know
By Bess Levin
As you may have heard, over the last several months, various college newspapers have run opinion pieces by students lamenting the fact that many of their peers take jobs on Wall Street following graduation, where their talents are wasted. Dartmouth kicked things off in August, with others following in suit, particularly at Ivy League universities, from which the financial industry heavily recruits. Not to be left out of the fun, Duke University’s Chronicle Editorial Board today bemoaned the Duke “factory” which “inputs smart and well-intentioned kids, and churns out instruments for the Wall Street machine.” Read more »
Maybe, you thought, Bernie Madoff wouldn’t like prison. Maybe, you thought, after a life of luxury, living in an 8X10 would cramp his style. Maybe, you thought, that he’d have trouble earning 14 cents an hour sweeping the floors, after spending several decades ‘earning’ millions making fake trades. Maybe, you thought, he wouldn’t take to an environment wherein taking your pants off means open season on your ass, after coming from a work environment where nobody blinked an eye when he regularly “dropped his trou in the office to ensure that the line of his shirt buttons was precisely vertical,” without the slightest threat of attack. Maybe, you thought, he’d be home sick. Maybe, you thought, he wouldn’t make any friends. Maybe, you thought, he wouldn’t get picked by any fraternities during rush. Well, you couldn’t be anymore wrong. Not only is Berns quickly adjusting and joining all sorts of groups, but he’s having the time of his life. Read more »
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Thirty-Thousand Job Cuts Have Not Squelched Bank Of America’s Appetite For Fresh Meat
By Bess Levin“Our plans [to recruit] are consistent with last year,” said Kristen Williams, head of Bank of America’s global banking and markets campus recruiting team. “We have our target school list in the U.S. and globally. We’re not in a 2009 situation.” [FINS]
“Philosophy, sociology and liberal arts agendas will no longer suffice.” Read more »
As previously mentioned, one of the unforeseen consequences of the Galleon insider trading bust was credibility taking a hit. Specifically that of the individuals who’d told their friends and colleagues that Danielle Chiesi was a dime piece, and who were slightly dismayed to see the picture of her from a Bridget Nielsen (Flavor Flav Years) look-a-like contest. Luckily, they were saved when Bloomberg reported Danielle Chiesi was in fact named Miss Southern Tier Teenager in 1981, with the photo of DC in a tiara following shortly thereafter to prove it. Today another pic has emerged, from the sorority files.
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You know what they say: You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your financial planner. Or something like that. One of the great things of being in charge of your money is choosing who (if anyone) will help you manage it. The choice isn’t always an easy one. How will you know that your planner is reputable and trustworthy?
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Analyst Who Fears His “Overly Muscular Stature” Won’t Work For Wall Street Seeks Advice
By Bess LevinEarlier this week, a young financial services employee posed a question to the universe about a problem vis-à-vis size. He wrote:
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Tags: a rather large man (both in stature and in the pants.), advice, college, discrimination towards large muscular guys, football, handshakes, I have honestly never come across anyone even close to the size I am at the office, just kidding about the penis size comment, max 10% body fat, serious question of the day, tips