A Columbia business student recently sent out an email peddling billions of dollars of iron ore to his classmates, pitching them and anyone they might know on the deal. It’s unclear how much money has been raised so far, but we figured we’d help cast a wider net. If you’re interested– get in touch!
From: [redacted at Columbia Business School]
To: All Students
Subject: For Sale: $13B of iron ore, +$10B of rare earth elements
I’m actually serious. This is a deal that I’ve put together.
This is the second in a two-part series from CBS re: not “acting in a socially undesirable way runs a strong risk of branding you as undesirable.” This apparently includes wearing gold (instead of the more desirable silver) watches. Next up, the person sending these memos will pick one student at random, show up at his or her apartment, forcibly shampoo and condition their hair and pick out said student’s clothes prior to the next recruiting event.
Subject: [IBC] Personal hygiene
Dear 1st Year Members,
It has come to our attention (through complaints from IBC board representing firms they are going to full time) that some of you may not have followed personal hygiene basics during recruiting events. We understand that it is an incredibly intense recruiting period, and is very hard to find time for yourself, but this is a friendly reminder on some dress code and personal hygiene basics: Read more »
According to this email, yes. Seems that the future business leaders of the world are just so excited to show potential employers what they’ve got that they 1) get up into recruiters’ asses more than is socially acceptable and 2) cockblock their friends from doing ths same. The lack of finesse is apparently embarrassing the school and has resulted in a list of rules to live by during networking events, with heavy emphasis on Circle Etiquette.
Subject: [IBC] Break-out Sessions with Bankers–PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
Dear 1st years –
It has come to our attention that some of you have already managed to become notorious for their willingness to elbow their peers out of the circle around senior bankers and virtually attack the bankers with questions, thus preventing other students from networking and participating in the conversation. This is never a good strategy and acting in a socially undesirable way runs a strong risk of branding you as undesirable not just to your classmates but also to recruiters. Once you feel that you have asked a couple of questions, and perhaps received a business card, do not monopolize the banker’s time by standing around awkwardly or asking additional questions. Let your classmates play as well. Furthermore, such behavior shows that you are aggressive and non-collegial, and therefore not a pleasant person to work 100-hour weeks with.
Bankers are very observant people. Moreover, it is much easier to remember somebody with a bad impression than with a good impression – do not smother the bankers with too many questions. Read more »
“Stuff CEOs with cash and bring back the corporate jets and country club memberships. That’s the message of new research coming out of Columbia Business School. The study measured the likelihood of default in 117 banks and other financial institutions from 1998 to 2008. Turns out, the companies that paid executives in shares and stock options were more likely to go bust than those that simply doled out bonuses in cash.” [FINS]
Looking to douse yourself in a little second-hand embarrassment today? Business school follies are here to help! If the above offering from Darden doesn’t do it for you, perhaps the future business leaders of America at CBS can get the job done.
Update: Wharton has beseeched me to throw their effort into the running.
*Confidential to Darden guy– the limbo scene was pretty good stuff.
I stumbled onto this Columbia Business School Vineyard Vines logo tie on the clearance rack at Century 21 the other night. It’s the same tie our investment management club gave to Buffett in Omaha last October. That tie was full price in our bookstore – $65. Century 21 is unloading it for $35.” Read more »