Been itching to get back into the Food Eating Challenge game but unsuccessful in finding one that combines your love of competition and hyperglycemia? Today’s your lucky day. Crumbs Cupcakes is back and not only will it be offering its cupcake the size of 9 Costco-sized sheet cakes, but even more ticking time bombs of sugar just begging to consumed under time constraints by your investment banking analyst or hedge fund intern of choice. Read more »
Now, people close to Cohen say he has quietly and methodically launched a multi-pronged effort to eventually make his full return to the hedge fund business, even if many legal experts say the odds are low that he will prevail. “I would say Steven Cohen’s chances are about as good as Michael Milken’s would be” for returning the securities business, said Columbia Law School professor John Coffee, referring to the tarnished junk bond pioneer. Still, Coffee added, “a lifetime ban allows you to reapply five years later for readmission,” meaning it’s not impossible. [FBN]
Perhaps, you thought, that the day Vikram Pandit was abruptly and unceremoniously fired from Citigroup was the end. That we’d lost him for good. That he’d retreat to the his Upper West Side manse and spend his days beefing up his Odd Couple memorabilia collection, or work on that novel about a love that dare not speak its name between a bank CEO and the analyst who only acted like she hated him, or build that Zen garden he’d always wanted that the fucks at Citi never let him have. That he was finished with Wall Street. Well fret not. Uncle Vik wouldn’t never do that to you. Read more »
Take a bow
“Dear Colleagues,” Robert Benmosche wrote in a memo to AIG employees today. “We come together as a company to celebrate in good times and we draw together in times of shared crisis. Today warrants a celebration like no other in AIG’s history and places well in the past a crisis none of us will ever forget…Today the US Department of the Treasury has priced an offering of approximately 234.2 million shares of AIG common stock at a price to market of $32.50 per share. Upon the closing of this transaction, expected this Friday, Treasury will have sold the last of its remaining shares of AIG common stock, receiving proceeds of approximately $7.6 billion from the sale. The closing of this transaction will mark the full resolution of America’s financial support of AIG…It is one of the most extraordinary – and what many believed to be the most unlikely– turnarounds in American business history. And you did it…You did this. Every single man and woman at AIG did this remarkable thing. There is a saying in American life, there are no second acts. Well, take a bow, because today marks our second act.” [Dealbook]
Just a question of which hedge fund he’ll be riding– his own or his former Old Lane colleague’s. Read more »
After he was unceremoniously fired from his post at the newly formed Bank of America Merrill Lynch, for reasons that included paying out big bonuses to ML executives and decorating his office with $1,500 garbage cans, John Thain understood that he would have to recede from the limelight for a bit. Take a job at a smaller firm and keep his head down for a while. Spend more time with his honeybees. Get back to his fighting weight. Drink a raw egg for breakfast every day. Run up and down the stairs of the Met. Work in a hideously decorated space, no matter how much it hurt. Win some awards. Get his confidence back. Let people miss him. Well, Thain did all that. And now? He’s ready for you to make him an offer. Read more »
According to Dealbook, the big guy is merely “weighing” whether or not he wants to start one but it seems more than a little obvious this thing is happening. He’s got the office space, the passion, and the tattoo on his ass that reads “Each time a door closes, a bigger, more fucking awesome one opens.” Mornings at home with Maury followed by early afternoons with his Soaps were fun for a while but it’s not the life for him. He needs a desk and a purpose and that purpose is making you big money. All you have to give him is a little something called “2 and 20.” (3 and 50 if you really want to show your support.) Is that so much to ask? Hank Paulson, can he count on you for $100 million to start? Make it 250mm and the whole pushing him out of Goldman and driving a stake through his heart incident is forgotten. Get in on the ground floor.