Credit Suisse

  • News

    Credit Suisse Employee Forgets To Turn Off Portable Heater Over Thanksgiving

    See if you can guess what happens next.

    / Dec 3, 2009 at 1:53 PM
  • News

    Paging Clive Owen And Naomi Watts….

    It would be difficult to make the case that, over the last decade or so, financial institutions haven’t begun to resemble the sovereigns that purport to regulate them. Certainly, with the news that the spying scandal brewing at Deutsche Bank is wider than initially realized, it becomes more and more obvious that global financial institutions […]

    / Aug 3, 2009 at 9:26 AM
  • News

    Comp Watch ’09: Credit Suisse Raising Base Pay?

    Possibly, according to an employee of the less tax evade-y Swiss bank in town, who overheard the change being discussed by management in an 11 Madison Avenue elevator last night. Obviously don’t get too excited, though, as it’s not really going to translate to more money (or ability to make payments to the bank of […]

    / Jun 3, 2009 at 8:50 AM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’09: Credit Suisse

    Some population restructuring is said to be going down at the House of Dougan this afternoon. So far affected: leveraged finance. No word on parting packages (yet), though Shake Shack on Brady would be nice but unlikely, as he’s having some money trubs at the moment.

    / May 19, 2009 at 4:56 PM
  • News

    The Kind Of Perverse Genius Only The Swiss Could Develop

    Bonus? Sure! How about some of this toxic paper? The bank will use leveraged loans and commercial mortgage-backed debt, some of the securities blamed for generating the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, to fund executive compensation packages, people familiar with the matter said. […] The securities will be placed into a so-called Partner […]

    / Dec 18, 2008 at 10:39 AM
  • News

    Confidential To Erin Callan: The Stems Are From Us

    I felt the need to throw that note up there in case a confused EZ-E comes around these parts at some point this afternoon. We went with the flowers, writing ‘’ on the card and while you people know this site is an indispensable resource for anyone hoping to achieve a modicum of success in […]

    / Sep 2, 2008 at 4:00 PM
  • News

    Good Luck, Credit Suisse

    As many of you are aware, today marks a very momentous occasion. I am not referring to Jorge Soros finally being appointed to the NAMBLA executive committee, though it is indeed cause for celebration and we’ll have more on that later. Right now we’re talking about a lady named Erin Callan, who rejoins the workforce […]

    / Sep 2, 2008 at 10:23 AM
  • News

    Credit Suisse: Stop Us If You’ve Heard This One Before

    7/29: Credit Suisse writes to inform clients that the rumors of suckage are, in fact, true. 8/21: One more time for the cheap seats!

    / Aug 21, 2008 at 12:41 PM
  • News

    Credit Suisse Broker On The Lam?

    Former Credit Suisse broker Julian Tzolov, under investigation for being a sheep and pushing auction rate securities, is thought to have fled to his native Bulgaria. (Suicide has been ruled out, faking one’s own death apparently only be de rigeur among the hedge fund set.) Tzolov resigned from the firm on September 7, 2007, so […]

    / Jul 31, 2008 at 2:24 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’08: Credit Suisse

    First year top analysts: 65k. Everyone else: one free ShackBurger. Related: Layoffs Watch ’08: Credit Suisse To Can Both Essential And Non-Essential Employees At Some Point In The Future

    / Jul 17, 2008 at 11:03 AM
  • Goldman Sachs

    Shocker: Erin Callan to Leave Pity Post at Lehman

    …And join Credit Suisse, where Brady Dougan promises to take full responsibility for his mistakes. At the marginally more successful, slightly less tax-evading Swiss bank in town, Callan will serve as Managing Director and head of its Global Hedge Fund Business, a position created specially for well-heeled woman. Callan’s new gig starts on September 2, […]

    / Jul 15, 2008 at 2:35 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’08: Credit Suisse To Can Both Essential And Non-Essential Employees At Some Point In The Future

    The Post reports that the marginally more successful, slightly less tax-evading Swiss bank in town plans to distribute a handful of pink slips in investment banking, probably around the time it mentions a sizable writedown with its second quarter earnings, though the “exact timing could not be learned.” The cuts are said to cover high-yield […]

    / Jun 20, 2008 at 9:25 AM
  • News

    The Swiss And Disaster

    When the Swiss are worried, you really need to watch it. No lesser financial news giant than Forbes reports (via Thomson Financial News) that former Credit Suisse CEO Oswald Gruebel (a likelier name for the antagonist in a spy novel with a plotline involving stolen gold you have probably never encountered) quipped “We’ve narrowly escaped […]

    / Apr 24, 2008 at 8:45 AM

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