As previously mentioned, Debrahlee “I want to be tits on a stick” Lorenzana has fired her original attorney, Jack Tuckner on the “too hot for Citi” case. This may have been a mistake. As you know, one of the complaints made by Lorenzana is that her bosses told her she needed to wear dumpier clothes in an effort to not draw attention to her sweet ass and surgically enhanced cans. Specifically, Lorenzana says that she was told not to wear pencil skirts or stilettos. And while Tuckner may be the creepiest lawyer of all time, it turns out he has deep knowledge of this sort of footwear (and the other accoutrement that might fill out the ensemble), and how its presence in the corporate world can only enhance business, such as when a stilleto is shoved up one’s ass. I’m not sure Lorenzana was aware of this information at the time she sacked Jack, who may have been her best shot at winning this thing.
In June 2008, Manhattan women’s-rights lawyer Tuckner was sued by his former office manager, Lisa Brockington, who claimed in court papers that he watched porn at his desk and wore a “slave” collar at work. Her suit called him a “self-described ‘testosterone-poisoned’ attorney with a penchant for bondage and sadomasochism who demeaned . . . the women who worked for him.”
Over the weekend, Debrahlee Lorenzana was warned by her new employer, JPMorgan Chase, to can it with the interviews re: being fired from Citi for allegedly being too hot to handle. Supposedly, the order came directly from the top. Defying James Dimon, Lorenzana and her lawyer, Jack “Get a load of these” Tuckner, appeared on a whole buncha talk shows, including the CBS Morning Show, where they were asked about being told to put a sock in it, and if they were worried Lorenzana was in danger of losing another job. Hell no they’re not. Sorry, but this isn’t about JPMorgan, this is about DL’s scorching tits and rockin’ ass, Tuckner essentially said, and you want to know something else? Dimon and his henchmen are “bullying” his client. If they want to fire her, by all means, go right ahead. Maybe manhandle her on the way out like he knows you’re just dying to. Jack will just add you to the list of banks he’ll be taking to the cleaners. Anyone else want to sack Lorezana’s exquisite breasts? Lloyd? Continue reading »
If you work at Citibank, the answer would apparently be yes, according to Debrahlee Lorenzana, who is suing the bank on the grounds that it fired her for being really good looking. So good looking, apparently, that it distracted them from the hard work they were doing at Citi and had to be stopped. Her boss Craig Fisher and one of his colleagues tried to make her less hot, allegedly, by pulling Lorenzana into an office one day and telling her she had to stop wearing turtlenecks, pencil skirts, three inch heels or “fitted” business suits. When Lorenzana brought up the matter of other females wearing way more revealing clothes, she was told those women’s shapes were different from mine, and I drew too much attention.” Lorenzana like this was kind of a bunch of bull shit (“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” Lorenzana recalls. “I said, ‘You gotta be kidding me!’ I was like, ‘Too distracting? For who? For you? My clients don’t seem to have any problem’) so she decided not to change her wardrobe but rather fug herself up a bit by not wearing make-up and not blowing out her hair. She also wrote a couple letters to HR letting them know she was not pleased with how the meeting went but never heard back and her attempts to downplay how hot she was didn’t work either.
“I could have worn a paper bag, and it would not have mattered,” she says. “If it wasn’t my shirt, it was my pants. If it wasn’t my pants, it was my shoes. They picked on me every single day.” Still, she continued to dress up for work—her brand of femininity is also cultural. “Where I’m from,” she says, switching into Spanish to explain it, “women dress up—like put on makeup and do their nails—to go to the supermarket. And I’m not talking trashy, you know, like in the Heights. I was raised very Latin, you know? We’re feminine. A woman in Puerto Rico takes care of herself. The Puerto Rican women here put down our flag.”
