cruel world

  • 01 Nov 2010 at 11:52 AM

DE Shaw Layoffs Leave Their Mark

The tradition of having your wedding announced in the Times Sunday Style section is a long and venerated one. Not to minimize the whole finding of one’s soul mate aspect, but for many, the announcement is reason they’re getting married. So it had to have chafed pretty badly for one couple when the husband’s employer, a shop known for its intelligence but apparently not so much its sensitivity, ruined the whole thing. Read more »

As you undoubtedly know by now, during the course of his preparation for Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, Shia LaBeouf became a master trader. He worked with the guys at Encino Charles Schwab office, Citi and John Thomas Financial, he turned $20,000 into almost half a mill, he’s thisclose to becoming a Chartered Financial Analyst and he knows exactly what it takes to get hired at Goldman Sachs. He’s spoken of his pedigree many, many times, under the guise of promoting the movie all the while communicating to Wall Street that there’s a new Josh Birnbaum in town and so far, things have been coming together quite nicely. He has offers coming out the ass, he senses that Lloyd is just waiting for the right moment to can Viniar and offer him the gig and re: Shia LaBeouf Capital Management, all I’m going to say is that it’s been communicated from Stamford that the seed money is there for the taking. And up until this point, the plan has gone off without a hitch, because his co-star, Josh Brolin, has kept his trap shut. You see, kids, because he achieved none of the theatrical success young Shia did at an early age, brolin had to start day trading in order to pay the bills. He achieved a tiny modicum of success but nothing like LaB. Did he trade on his cell phone? No! Did he have Bloomberg on speed-dial? No! And yet this prick is now going around telling people how fucking great he is at making it rain. Read more »

Money Never Sleeps, which the lot of you had probably already cleared your schedules to see April 23, has had its premier postponed to September 24. It’s gonna be another 6 long, lonely months before we see those loafers on the big screen. On the bright side, rather than work the press circuit, ShiLa will be able to devote his time to the old online brokerage account, and to working on the LaBeouf Capital prospectus. [Variety via BI]