cupcakes

Apparently Twinkie-lovers worldwide are clamoring for a piece of this. Read more »

As we mentioned two seconds ago, today is Tim Geithner’s birthday, and a big one at that. The Treasury Secretary turns 50, and on a day when he’s away from his family, being held against his will, watching the market drive off a cliff, a drop for which he’ll probably be blamed, this is what his staff got him: Read more »

  • 30 Jun 2011 at 9:27 AM

Important Reminder: Crumbs Has Gone Public

To commemorate the listing on the Nasdaq (ticker symbol: CRMB), consider going head to head with “six and a half inches high of deliciousness and love” today. [Crains, earlier]

As the Chairman of Citigroup, a position he’s held since February 2009, Dick Parsons sticks out a bit by comparison. Whereas Citi has at times been the world’s largest bloated, lumbering, diversified cathouse where, for a good while, nothing could go right, a highly flammable entity prone to one chaotic moment of shit hitting the fan after the next, that few wanted to get within 100 feet of Parsons is calm. Cool. “Flat-out smooth,” as BusinessWeek describes him (which is why he was hired to be the one to go make nice with Washington, according to Vikram Pandit). The magazine recently accompanied Dick to a jazz club where they got to know him a little better, on a personal level. Here’s what we’ve learned about DP:

* He thinks the city smoking ban sucks: “Michael E. Novogratz, a director of Fortress Investment Group, a New York hedge fund, gives Parsons a hug and presents him with a Montecristo cigar. Parsons looks pleased. “Oh man,” he says, “I wish we could light these up in here.”

* If you’ve lost ass-ton of money, he’s the guy you turn to for a pick-me-up: Novogratz and Parsons exchange condolences about the market, which is zig-zagging with the turmoil in the Middle East. “I lost more money this week than I did in any week in 2008,” Novogratz laments. Parsons tells him not to be so hard on himself. “Nobody knows what’s going on,” he says.

* Charm like this doesn’t need an undergraduate degree: He went to the University of Hawaii, where he partied more than he studied. After four years, he still needed six credits to get his diploma, but he discovered that if he aced his pre-law exams he could get into law school in New York state without a college degree. He did well on the test and was accepted to Albany Law School, where he graduated at the top of his class. Read more »

Fuck the SEC and its baseless charges. Screw the Rajaratman-loving director. That all pales in comparison and gravity to this. As you know Goldman has new headquarters. And guess what? Some people aren’t very happy. With the move comes a little good and a whole lotta bad. First, the good, sore consolation prizes in light shitty views and being forced to look at each other’s dicks only if you choose to do so:

* a gym with classes like “Awesome Abs.”

* a panorama that includes New York Harbor.

* Sugar and grease: “the Sky Lobby cafeteria that offers a deep panini lineup and deadly cupcakes”

And now, on with the bad. The so very bad: Read more »