As you may have heard, over the last year or so, financial institutions have started to become more accepting of the iPhone, in some cases allowing employees the option to use one instead of the standard-issue Blackberry and in others, getting rid of the latter all together. For employers currently contemplating making the jump, however, a word to the wise: make sure your staff has gone through full iPhone-training before releasing them into the world, lest anyone suffer an unfortunate mishap that basically ruins their lives.
The unmistakably jarring sound of aniPhone marimba ring interrupted the soft and spiritual final measures of Mahler’s Symphony No. 9 at the New York Philharmonic on Tuesday night. The conductor, Alan Gilbert, did something almost unheard-of in a concert hall: He stopped the performance. But the ringing kept on going, prompting increasingly angry shouts in the audience directed at the malefactor. After words from Mr. Gilbert, and what seemed like weeks, the cellphone owner finally silenced his device. After the audience cheered, the concert resumed. Internet vitriol ensued. But no one, it seems, felt worse than the culprit, who agreed to an interview on Thursday on condition that he not be identified — for obvious reasons.
Maybe you think this sounds like really not a big deal at all? Maybe you think wrong, hombre. The “culprit,” described as “a business executive between 60 and 70 who runs two companies,” is still reeling from the incident and, from the sound of it, may actually require counseling to move forward. Continue reading »
Someone who's got some big shoes to fill.
This is not the way we wanted to start the weekend but so be it: the dream of having Lisa Maria Falcone and her Grammy-award winning pig in our living room every week is over. Reality TV show Wall $treet Wives has been cast and our favorite hedge fund wife and her sidekick are nowhere to be found. Yes, we’re still going to give W$W a chance, but we’re not going to be excited about it. The cast list is as follows: Continue reading »
This fall, in a basement at Goldman Sachs, around 100 men and women will be inducted into an exclusive society. Membership will mean they’ll make metric ass-tons of money. They’ll get “investment opportunities not offered to other employees” (first dibs on client front-running, etc). They’ll be able to put in requests for “fashionable tables at New York restaurants” and hookers who are fine with the wearing of a Scream mask while being done from behind. They’ll be partners at Goldman Sachs. To commemorate this event, and for the practical purpose of tagging them so their status at the firm can be quickly verified with one quick drop of trou, these newly-made partners will have their nether regions dipped in a vat of gold, which will harden while Lloyd Blankfein gives a speech about how to carry oneself differently once they reach the upper echelons of GS (literally, as those things will drag if you’re not careful).
At the same time, another group of Goldman employees will be put on a bus and taken upstate. “Where are we going,” someone will ask. “Is this some sort of field-trip,” the dimmer ones will wonder excitedly. It’ll be in a warehouse in Buffalo, where no one can hear them scream that the head of HR will come out of the shadows, wearing an executioner’s mask and swinging massive clippers. The slowest of the bunch will still think they’re in for a treat, this setting being reminiscent of the partner’s retreat in ’03. The rest will know.
As many as 60 Goldman executives could be stripped of their partnerships this year to make way for new blood, people with firsthand knowledge of the process say. Inside the firm, the process is known as “de-partnering.”
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