Diet Coke

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    News

    Economy Can’t Even Deal With The Idea Of Larry Summers Being Named Fed Chair

    The spreading expectation that President Obama will name Lawrence H. Summers to lead the Federal Reserve Board appears to be working against the central bank’s efforts to stimulate the economy. The jitters even have some analysts betting that a Summers nomination could lead to slower economic growth, less job creation and higher interest rates than […]

    / Sep 3, 2013 at 4:57 PM
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    Breakfast

    If There’s One Thing Preet Bharara Hates More Than Steve Cohen, It’s Complex Carbohydrates

    What does one eat to get pumped up for a day of putting away gang members and bringing charges against (alleged!) financial dens of iniquity? Raw animal flesh or, if none can be procured, a granola bar that contains only 3g net carbs.

    / Aug 8, 2013 at 2:39 PM
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    News

    Larry Summers Supposedly Too Rough Around The Edges To Be Named Fed Chairman

    Who should replace Ben S. Bernanke as Chairman of the Federal Reserve when his term ends in January 2014? If anyone cared to ask us, we’d say no one: we like our Fed Chairman soft-spoken, bearded, and just as comfortable in dad jeans as they are in their bespoke Jos. A. Bank suits. But nobody asked and, according to Andrew Ross Sorkin, Bernanke has told “close friends” that regardless of whether or not Obama wins a second term, he’s ready to move on. Apparently qualified successors are few and far between and while Larry Summers is said to be “at the top of the list,” the fact that Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner may finally be granted freedom from his own personal Guantanamo Bay and will also necessitate a replacement who will have to work closely with the new Fed Chair poses some staffing issues, on account of the perception that Summers is somewhat difficult to work with.

    …[Summers is] a serious economist who knows his numbers and has a worldview that is similar to the president’s. He would be expected to continue the loose money policy of Mr. Bernanke. But one of the knocks against Mr. Summers is that he has a reputation for not playing well with others. He has had his own run-ins with the president. And if you consider the Treasury secretary and Federal Reserve chairman as a tag team, you would have to be confident that whomever you pick for Treasury secretary would get along well with Mr. Summers.

    So he called some former students assholes. So he’ll cut a bitch for getting between him and his steady stream of Diet Coke. So he chooses to sleep through co-workers’ particularly boring presentations. So he makes female colleagues feel like “pieces of meat.” So he shoots people unequivocal death stares that say, “I could have you killed and no one would find out” for the mere suggestion he might want to consider wearing socks. Is all that to say he’s not an otherwise affable guy who’d make a fine workmate and prized addition to an office softball team?

    Casting Dual Roles At Treasury And The Fed [Dealbook]

    / Oct 23, 2012 at 1:27 PM
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    News

    Nearly 40,000 People Preemptively Let Obama Know They Think Larry Summers Sucks

    Is Larry Summers going to get the nomination for World Bank president? It’s unclear at this time but lest Obama be seriously considering him for the gig, a bunch of people would like to put it out there that the former Treasury Secretary would be a “terrible pick.” In 24 hours over 37,000 people have […]

    / Feb 23, 2012 at 5:45 PM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Business World’s Gonna Miss Larry Summers When He’s Gone

    They haven’t had nice things to say about him over the past year and a half. Called him McSleeps a lot and, oh, the jokes about his Diet Coke consumption came fast and furiously. But now that he’s announced he’s taking off, suddenly the business community wants the lovable schlub back, according to Charlie Gasparino. […]

    / Sep 23, 2010 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Larry Summers To Quit White House After Mid-Term Elections

    According to White House spokesman Robert Gibbs, the nap lover’s impending departure, and those of others on the economic team, is “not a surprise…there will be people who have worked enormously hard over the past few years to make decisions to go back to doing what they did before joining the administration,” such as consulting […]

    / Sep 21, 2010 at 4:25 PM
  • News

    Charlie Gasparino: Larry Summers Might Retire, At Some Point, Possibly

    Charlie Gasparino’s sources are telling him that Larry Summers is unhappy and not just over the “little punk” incident. No one really knows why exactly, though Chaz suspects Big Lar wanted the Fed Chair job and with “that bearded fruit” getting the gig, for a second time no less, saw that dream flushed down the […]

    / Mar 26, 2010 at 2:45 PM
  • News

    Let It Be Known, Larry Summers Does NOT Appreciate Being Referred To As A ‘Little Punk’

    Earlier today we mentioned that House Minority Leader John Boehner had some advice for any bankers headed to Washington hoping to fight financial reform. His advice was simply this: “Don’t let those little punk staffers take advantage of you and stand up for yourselves.” The reaction from a certain Director of the White House’s National […]

    / Mar 18, 2010 at 6:20 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Monday

    Larry Summers talking shop in Davos, and waiting, just waiting, for his god damn diet Coke.

    / Feb 1, 2010 at 10:15 AM
  • News

    Hedge Fund Manager Demands Cab Fare Be Reimbursed By Company He’s Shorting

    Last week Harvest Capital Strategies manager Andrew Kaplan tried to attend an analyst meeting for First Solar, which he says he was invited to. Upon arriving at the Westin in New York, where the event was taking place, Kaplan received a badge, grabbed himself a Diet Coke, and waited for the conference to begin. Unfortunately, […]

    / Dec 21, 2009 at 5:30 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Thursday

    / Oct 22, 2009 at 4:18 PM
  • News

    When Larry Summers Wants A Diet Coke YOU’LL KNOW

    The latest issue of the New Yorker has a story on Larry Summers and his back-up dancers, i.e. Obama’s economic team. Obviously when we talk about Summers, we talk about two things: his predilection for Diet Coke and for sleeping during important meetings. Concerning the former, what does the president’s top adviser do when he […]

    / Oct 5, 2009 at 11:54 AM

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