• Ben Lorello


    Would-Be Jefferies Interns Deprived Of Face Time With Sage Kelly’s Boss

    Just think of all the pearls of wisdom these kids could’ve received! Charlie Gasparino reports:

    / Dec 8, 2014 at 4:11 PM
  • geithnerworkingtitle


    Tim Geithner Very Sadly Not Titling Memoir “On Timothy Geithner,” By Timothy Geithner

    He’s also ruled out War And Pissed Off, No, Go Fuck YOURself, John Mack, Once I Think I’m Out…Tim Geithner’s Treasury Department, My Own Personal Guantanamo Bay, and Fucking Lettuce, much to our dismay.

    / Aug 26, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • News

    Chicago-Area Investment Manager Is Incorrigible Maggot, Says His Grandfather

    Allan Ash, pictured at left, is 95 years-old. He’s lived through the Great Depression.  Hitler’s rise to power. Pearl Harbor. Korea. The assassination of John F. Kennedy. He’s got heart problems. Water on his lungs. No use of his legs. He lost his sight several years back. But you wanna know the biggest disappointment of his life? The fact that his grandson turned out to be a two-faced rotten bum who should count his lucky stars grandpa is only going after his ass in court and not on the streets.

    In papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, Allan Ash, 95, said he had just one condition when he gave the money to Geoffrey Richards earlier this year — that if he recovered from heart problems and needed any of the money back, his grandson would give it to him. Ash did get better and asked for $200,000 back in early April — but Richards refused to pay him a dime, court papers say. Now the grandfather who says he treated Richards like a son is suing to get back every penny. “He is a scoundrel. He loves money,” the fuming retired CPA said at his East Side home yesterday. “He is the greatest disappointment in my life.”

    [Ash paid] for a fancy boarding school for Richards, as well as college and law school, court papers read. He also paid for Richards to take vacations in places like Israel, Amsterdam, Greece, Italy and Sweden, the suit continues. After Richards’ graduation, Ash “continued to try and make life easier” for his grandson, giving him $600,000 over the past 14 years, according to the lawsuit. The money helped make Richards a success — he’s a managing director at a global investment firm in Chicago, making over $1 million a year, court papers say. He’s also the grandson Ash had wanted to handle his affairs when he died, so when heart problems and water on the lungs had him thinking the end was near this past spring, he loaned Richards the $950,000 — some of which he hoped would be used to arrange his own funeral services…When Ash got better, he asked for $200,000 of the money back, and Richards — who lives in a multimillion-dollar home by himself — refused, the suit says. “Lightning struck my heart,” Ash recalled. “I was enraged, betrayed.” He said he now plans to have another grandson who lives in New York handle his affairs, and wants the money back for that grandchild and another relative.

    ‘Heart woe’ CPA says kin reneged on $950K loan [NYP]
    Spoiled Grandson Won’t Return My $950K, Angry 95-Year-Old Grandpa Says [DNAI]
    40 Under 40: Geoffrey Richards [Crain’s]

    / Oct 24, 2012 at 6:05 PM
  • News

    Bernie Madoff Not Feeling Wilpon Settlement

    Convicted fraudster Bernie Madoff was “desperately disappointed” that the owners of the Mets chose to settle the fraud lawsuit brought on behalf of victims of Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, CBS News reported Wednesday. “He wrote me last weekend that he was so looking forward to that trial,” said Diane Henriques, author of the book “Wizard of […]

    / Mar 21, 2012 at 3:27 PM
  • News

    Fred Goodwin Has Seen Better Days

    The past couple years have not been what one might characterize as the best of times for former RBS CEO Fred Goodwin. After retiring from his post in November 2008, he missed out on helping the bank collect the award for biggest loss in British corporate history (£24.1 billion for the year), the windshield of […]

    / Jan 31, 2012 at 7:02 PM
  • News

    Bloomberg: Jon Corzine Chose Not To Get Drunk And Unload His Problems On A Group Of Unsuspecting Bankers Night Before Q3 Results Came Out

    But you can imagine what it would’ve been like if he had, right? [Slurring] “We’re sooo preggo with Euro debt it’s not even funny. Might have to use client funds for collateral. I’m serious.” [Spills wine on guy to his right, attempts to wipe it up before having hand shoved away.]

    / Nov 2, 2011 at 11:30 AM
  • CNBC

    Rick Santelli Just Phoning In On-Air Rants At This Point

    “The only regulation that works is failure”? “I’ll buy you a big breakfast, just not your neighbor’s mortgage”? One measly foot stomp? Come on Ricky. Remember when these things had a hint of authenticity? When you threatened to throw synthetic CDOs into Lake Michigan? When we actually believed you might give yourself a hernia? It’s […]

    / Sep 21, 2011 at 10:57 AM
  • News

    Alleged Insider Trader Noah Freeman Has Likely Broken Hundreds Of Underage Girls’ Hearts Today

    Reuters‘ Matthew Goldstein reports:

    / Feb 8, 2011 at 4:27 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’10: Bank Of America Merrill Lynch

    Management would like to remind everyone look on the bright side.

    / Dec 10, 2010 at 9:47 AM
  • News

    Bonus Watch ’10: JPMorgan Will Not Be Making Friends In IB

    Yesterday it was suggested that bonuses at JPMorgan will be roughly equal to 2009. Apparently that’s only if you’re lucky.

    / Dec 9, 2010 at 12:06 PM
  • News

    The Shattering Of A Vikram Pandit Dream

    Despite the fact that he is a rolly polly ball of smiles that had the good sense to sell his hedge fund to Citi for a billion dollars, as the CEO of the Treasury’s special needs child, Vikram Pandit does not have a lot to look forward to, other than the day he “makes more […]

    / Nov 4, 2010 at 1:08 PM
  • Communiqués, News

    Viking Global Is Greatly Disappointed In Its Returns, Not Blaming Self, But Still Looking Within To See What Went Wrong

    To: Viking Investors From: O. Andreas Halvorsen Performance Our second quarter performance was a loss of 5.0% for VGE and a loss of 11.9% for VLF net of all fees on a composite basis On an unlevered basis, VGE’s long portfolio was down 11.2% and the short portfolio was down 10.3%, yielding a long-short spread […]

    / Jul 27, 2010 at 3:35 PM
  • News

    Oh, Canada.

    Heartiest congratulations, Canada. Your recession is finally over. The economic growth that pulled you out of the pit of despair in the third quarter wasn’t all it could be. But, as those of us not named “China” have learned, exiting a recession isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Canada edges out of recession in […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 10:39 AM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit Isn’t Just Letting Citi Shareholders Down

    He’s letting the homeland down. And, really, that’s so much worse. The Indian presence is almost evenly divided among the private and state-run companies. While none of the Indian companies has managed to find a place among the top 100 firms this year as well, the elite club includes a firm run by person of […]

    / Apr 9, 2009 at 11:14 AM

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