dogs

A former Morgan Stanley investment manager accused of secretly videotaping romps with three women claimed the camera was only intended to monitor his pooch. “I have this camera set up in my apartment to watch my dog when I’m not there,” John C. Kelly told investigators on Feb. 26, according to court papers made public Thursday. “It’s on and sometimes stays on. So I accidentally recorded myself having sex because it’s always recording.” … Daniel Parker, the defense lawyer for one of the victim’s, said Kelly posted the illicit videos on Internet sites. “He used an elaborate system of surveillance using multiple devices in both his bedroom and their homes,” said Parker. “He left a trail and it was on YouTube and Vimeo.” Kelly used a hidden camera, a web cam and a stealth phone app to film the women engaged in various sexual acts. He even installed a hidden camera in the bookshelf of his East 69th Street apartment, Park said. [NYP]

  • 03 Sep 2013 at 12:49 PM

Bank of America Kicked Labor Day Weekend Off In Style

Bed bug-sniffing dog style. Read more »

At 4:57 p.m., a man [wearing a fedora-style hat and sunglasses] seen by witnesses loitering outside the People’s United Bank at 410 Greenwich Ave. walked into the branch, approached a teller and implied he had a weapon, but did not show it, police said. He then fled with an undisclosed amount of cash. Service on the busy New Haven Line was suspended for about an hour at the start of the evening commute. Trains resumed service about 6 p.m., but commuters faced delays of about an hour, according to Metro-North. When Matt Stymacks made his way to the northbound platform in Greenwich at “5 o’clock on the dot,” he said he noticed one or two police cars. “It looked nonchalant,” said Stymacks. “I noticed that they were scurrying for a bit and then out of nowhere, they had AK47s on them and police dogs and they were screaming at everyone to clear the platform immediately.” The number of police cars multiplied from two to about a dozen, he said; he never heard any gunfire. “Initially it was just very strange, because the first thing you notice is that the police have guns and dogs, so you have to assume that whoever they’re looking for appears to be a danger not just to themselves, but to everyone around,” he said. “So for a brief moment, everybody was pretty freaked out.” But as the minutes ticked away, the mood on the platform shifted from anxiousness to impatience. “There wasn’t any explanation from the cops as to what they were looking for and they weren’t telling us, `Hey, look for a person with said description.’ They just wanted everyone away from the platform — and there wasn’t any communication as far as how long it would take.” [CT Post, CF]

A potential silver lining to finally being arrested Saturday in Florence, if Florian Homm is trying to look on the bright side. Read more »

Most individuals working on Wall Street are good, honest people. But, as with every industry, you will always have your bad seeds. And should you perhaps wake up one morning to find the Feds outside your door, because your best friend sold you out by recording your explicit instructions re: how to dispose of evidence you committed securities fraud, or you were (allegedly) part of a “criminal club” that met regularly to share material non-public information with each other, or you bribed people with lobsters to do your bidding for you, and prison life is not the life for you and you need to come up with a hiding place they’ll never find you, STAT, sand and a cardboard box are a good place to start. Read more »

Ben Bernanke gave another Augustinian give-us-QEn-but-not-yet* speech at Jackson Hole today and you could go read it but honestly why would you, you know what it says, which is “everything is bad, but not as bad as it could be, and we want to make it a bit better, but only once it’s gotten a bit worse.” Moving right along.

To Andrew Haldane’s speech, which is a treat! It is here and its title is “The dog and the frisbee,” so obviously he had Dealbreaker on his side right there. Haldane, the Bank of England’s financial-stability guy, basically argues that while the financial system is complex, it should be regulated simply – “As you do not fight fire with fire, you do not fight complexity with complexity” – just as a dog uses only elementary trigonometry and differential calculus to solve the complex and multivariate problem of catching a frisbee.**

Haldane’s main example of overcomplexity in regulation is risk-based capital regulation, in which the Basel accords have moved from simple leverage tests – common equity divided by total assets – to complicated tests where the numerator is made up of different tiers of capital and the denominator uses risk-weights that are largely driven by the bank’s own models of riskiness. One thing you could do is compare the performance of those measures in the recent crisis, so he did. Here is how Basel risk-based capital did:

That looks bad and also is bad, with no statistically significant difference between banks that blew up and banks that did not. This is just boring leverage: Read more »

  • 14 Feb 2012 at 12:46 PM

Presenting: Executive Bitches

For Valentine’s Day this year, Fortune put together a slideshow of various executives, analysts, fund managers, and disgraced AIG CEOs posing with their one true loves– their dogs. For the big names who missed the deadline to submit photos, fear not– this feature is clearly going to become an annual thing. For those already mentally directing a photoshoot of yourself and Jamie the Younger, maybe running down Park Ave or shooting hoops at the Garden, you might first consider looking to this year’s pioneering efforts for inspiration.


For instance, in addition to putting your love for each other on display, why not use the opportunity to showcase your credentials, as “Fortune All-Star Analyst” Mike Mayo does here? Read more »