Donald Trump

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    Donald Trump Now Offering Legal Advice To Barclays

    Back in July, Barclays was hit with a major lawsuit by New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman, who alleged the bank “favored high-frequency traders in its dark pool and then lied to clients about their participation in the trading venue.” It wasn’t a great look for the Brits and it came at an especially awkward […]

    / Aug 4, 2014 at 12:02 PM
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    Donald Trump Discovers Pre-Nup He Doesn’t Like

    The hard-charging wife of Dallas hedge-fund mogul James Dondero is proving to be as relentless as her husband in their epic divorce battle. Rebecca “Becky” Dondero, 32, plans to try a novel legal tack to get her estranged husband to cough up more cash than a $5 million prenuptial payout, according to sources. Last month, […]

    / Dec 2, 2013 at 11:52 AM
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    Trump University Trump Entrepreneur Institute* Students Feel Honored To Just Be Near Likeness of Trump, Says Trump

    Were they baited with promises of meeting the Donald in the flesh, only to be offered an opportunity to stand in line for a photo-op with a poster bearing his face? Maybe. Did thousands of Trump College alums nevertheless give the school an A+, tuition well spent? Supposedly, yes.

    / Aug 26, 2013 at 12:31 PM
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    Donald Trump Won’t Be Stepping Out With Mitt Romney Anytime Soon Because He “Doesn’t Like To Be Associated With Failure”

    When the campaign decided to go for it, they went all out. Staffers and surrogates lobbied their contacts in Trump’s office, and senior campaign strategist Stuart Stevens called a person close to the Celebrity Apprentice star and asked what they could do to win him over. The friend’s advice: “Flattery goes a long way with […]

    / Nov 7, 2012 at 4:39 PM
  • "jokes"

    Claim: Sam Israel’s Investors Gave Him Money Because They Liked Animal-Loving Cokeheads Who Looked Good In Women’s Underwear And Cowboy Boots

    Investors gave Bernie Madoff money because they trusted him. They gave Sam Israel money because they liked him—a gregarious, disarming goofball who, as a Wall Street apprentice, had invented an alter ego he called Captain Proton, a fearless superhero whose special powers were granted by vodka and cocaine. Now in his forties, he lived in a Westchester mansion, rented from Donald Trump for $22,000 a month, with an adjacent chapel in which he had built a replica of the Bayou trading floor alongside an 800-­gallon saltwater fish tank and a menagerie of rare reptiles. He’d also installed a high-end studio for jam sessions, where he’d play with the Allman Brothers’ drummer when the band was in town. He owned a fleet of Porsches and signed personal checks printed with the image of SpongeBob SquarePants…Once he’d welcomed his family home from a short trip standing in the driveway wearing cowboy boots, his wife’s bikini underwear, a lacrosse helmet, swim goggles, a life jacket, and a cape, then started screaming at his wife when she didn’t get the joke. [NYM, related]

    / Jul 3, 2012 at 11:36 AM
  • News

    Donald Trump Offers How-To-Guide Re: Dealing With Disgruntled Employees Turned Whistleblowers

    Got an unhappy employee (or former employee) on your hands who’s decided to channel his or her anger by penning an Op-Ed in a major publication detailing egregious acts being committed at your firm and/or going to the Feds with allegations of fraud? Not sure how to handle the fallout? Why not take a page from Donald Trump’s playabook? He found himself in a similar situation with regard to Sheena Monnin, a first-year Miss Pennsylvania who “resigned her crown” over the weekend, claiming that the Miss USA pageant is “rigged.” Here’s how Don dealt with the matter and how anyone thinking about taking a more hands-on approach to dealing with disgruntled employees might too:

    Threaten to sue.

    “We’re going to bring a lawsuit against this girl,” Trump, who co-owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBCUniversal, told NBC’s “Today” show co-anchor Ann Curry on a phone interview; he used similar language in a phoner with George Stephanopoulos on ABC’s “Good Morning America.”

    Note that you’ve already conducted a thorough investigation into the employee’s claims and that your internal probe has revealed them to be baseless.

    Monnin announced Tuesday on her Facebook page she was turning in her tiara after she: “Witnessed another contestant who said she saw the list of the Top 5 BEFORE THE SHOW EVER STARTED proceed to call out in order who the Top 5 were before they were announced on stage. Apparently the morning of June 3rd she saw a folder lying open to a page that said ‘FINAL SHOW Telecast, June 3, 2012′ and she saw the places for Top 5 already filled in.” “They’ve done an investigation,” Trump said today. “I just found out about it — they just reported to me about five minutes ago. The person that supposedly showed the list totally denies that that ever took place.”

    Suggest, by saying outright, that the outburst can chalked up to the fact that this person didn’t receive the promotion she thought she deserved. Make it clear that she was not partner material. Sixth-year VP material at best.

    Asked his first impression of Monnin, Trump said, “I saw her there. My impressions were she didn’t have a chance of being in the Top 15 — not even close. And all this is, is a girl who went there, lost, wasn’t in the 15, and she’s angry at the pageant system. Later, he added, “I never felt she had a chance. And all this is is buyer’s remorse.”

    Donald Trump says he’ll sue ex-Miss Pennsylvania over her claims of Miss USA fraud [WaPo]

    / Jun 6, 2012 at 3:08 PM
  • News

    Donald Trump’s Tenants Now Welcome To Pay Rent In The Form Of Idiotic Publicity Stunts

    On Thursday, the newest tenant in Donald Trump’s 40 Wall Street, a 70-story skyscraper in Manhattan’s Financial District, will hand Mr. Trump a security deposit worth about $176,000. No money will change hands—just three 32-ounce bars of gold, each about the size of a television remote control. … “It’s a sad day when a large […]

    / Sep 14, 2011 at 4:25 PM
  • News

    Donald Trump Will Consider Running For Office ‘Again’ If The Economy Doesn’t Improve, He Can’t Execute His Vision For Jones Beach

    When Donald Trump chose not to run for President, the American people lost a lot. They lost the opportunity to hear the Don tell China, “Listen you motherfuckers, we’re going to tax you at 25 percent.” They lost the opportunity to watch a presidential candidate tell Bill Cosby to blow him. And most of all, […]

    / Aug 1, 2011 at 10:37 AM
  • News

    Donald Trump Finally Weighs In On Debt Ceiling Debate

    Been dying for Donald Trump’s take on the debt ceiling talks? Today’s your lucky day! The Don recently set up a camcorder in his office and laid out his fool-proof plan, which he strongly suggests Republicans take to heart.

    / Jul 27, 2011 at 11:52 AM
  • News

    Donald Trump Will Not Run For President

    The Don has announced the lure of the White House is not great enough to make him give up his biggest passion just yet (but watch out 2016).

    / May 16, 2011 at 1:07 PM
  • News

    Donald Trump Would Speak To The “Motherf*ckers” In China In A Way That Would Get Them To Either Quake In Their Boots Or Piss Their Pants In Laughter

    As you may have heard, because he’s said it a bunch of times, were Donald Trump to be elected President of the United States, his first order of business would be to “deal” with this China situation. Specifically, Trump has said he’d tell the Chinese that “If you don’t stop manipulating your currency, we’re going […]

    / Apr 29, 2011 at 1:53 PM
  • News

    Now That He Singlehandedly Got Obama To Release His Birth Certificate, Donald Trump Wants To Get Back To The Real Issues

    “I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully, getting rid of this issue,” Trump told reporters, his helicopter sitting behind him. He said he still wants to see the birth certificate, released while he was en route to New Hampshire, but now wants to talk about weightier issues […]

    / Apr 27, 2011 at 11:23 AM
  • News

    To The Untrained Eye, Donald Trump Might Appear To Be Good With Money, But Wall Street Insiders Are On To Him

    Earlier this evening, I had the opportunity to get the unvarnished thoughts of a former Deutsche Bank employee familiar with Trump from this $640-million deal gone awry on the Trump International Hotel & Tower in Chicago. Trump was sued to collect on a $40-million personal guarantee that was part of the deal. Suffice it to […]

    / Apr 20, 2011 at 3:52 PM
  • News

    Gary Busey Endorses Donald Trump

    Unlike the current administration, Busey says, Donald Trump cares about the deficit and will turn our reckless spending around. Not only did The Buse endorse The Don, but he’s announced he’ll campaign for him as well, having already come up with a acronym/slogan/Buseyism: T(aking) R(edirection), U(nderstanding) M(assive) P(ower).

    / Apr 20, 2011 at 9:34 AM
  • News

    Donald Trump Refuses To Take Any Crap From China, Bill Cosby

    As Donald Trump has stated previously, were he to run for President (and he says he doesn’t want to but might have to because “the world laughs at us and they won’t be laughing at us if I’m president”), the first issued he’d tackle is “this business” with China. The Don says he’s uniquely to […]

    / Apr 19, 2011 at 2:32 PM
  • News

    Carl Icahn Likens Judge Saying He Owes Bill Ackman $8 Million To Being Wrongfully Accused Of Murder, Sent To Death Row

    Five weeks ago, Carl Icahn announced he’d be closing the hedge fund he opened in 2004. Was this a sign retirement was next to come, some wondered? Hell no, Icahn recently told a reporter who checked in with the activist investor. “What else would I do? Play shuffleboard somewhere?” Mr. Icahn said from his vacation […]

    / Apr 18, 2011 at 4:48 PM
  • News

    Donald Trump Is Not Impressed With Mitt Romney’s Net Worth, Resumé

    As you may have heard, Donald Trump has been mulling a run for president, which he says he’ll make a final decision on by June. For the last several months he’s been putting his credentials out there (unlike our pussy diplomats who went to school to study “how to be nice,” Trump is the “right […]

    / Apr 18, 2011 at 1:09 PM

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