Back in the day, as in pre-crisis, bonus season on Wall Street was a happy time. Sure, you still had your miserable pricks who would bitch and moan about the fact that they hadn’t gotten as much as the guy who sat next to them, even they the guy who sat next to them was a “non-contributing zero who wouldn’t recognize alpha if it bit him in the ass,” but prior to to fall 2008, anyone who was unhappy about his or her bonus was a) quibbling over receiving a huge sum of money instead of an imperial fuck-ton of money and b) in a position to actually make good on a threat to jump ship, since firms were hiring. Now, with a few exceptions, bonus season makes people feel sad. Angry. Powerless. Frustrated. Confused. Like the world is out to get them. Not only has the total amount of one’s bonus come down, but many companies have decreased the cash portion, while increasing the deferral period on stock to, in some cases, almost half a decade. Then you have Jefferies. Last year it let employees decide between an all stock bonus or an all cash bonus with 25% lopped off. This year the investment bank-cum-butcher shop isn’t even forcing anyone to choose, instead dumping a bag of cash on people’s desk and reminding everyone who loves ‘em. Read more »
- 27 Nov 2013 at 1:30 PM
The holiday season is nigh and you still haven’t shopped. While you’re dreaming only of sugar plum fairies bearing fat bonuses, you don’t the time to mingle with the riff raff at some big box nightmare. Dealbreaker is here to help. Behold the 2013 Dealbreaker Holiday Gift Guide, chockfull of descriptors like “custom,” “gourmet,” “housecleaning,” and “DB swag.”
Click through to check out all of our gift choices for the hardcore capitalist in your life.
- Bonus Watch '12: Jefferies Has Got Your Cold Hard Cash Right Here December 11, 2012
- Credit Suisse Employee Moonlights As Breakdancing National Champion December 6, 2013
- Using Yiddish Word For Screwing Only One Of The Many Colorful Ways That Bernie Madoff Made Clear He Was Up To No Good December 6, 2013
- Don't Want To Get On Compliance's Watch List? Consider Not Going On Endlessly About How Ravenous You Are Or How They're Expecting You At Chipotle; One "God Damn It I'm Starving" Or "Need Burrito In Mouth, Stat" Should Suffice December 6, 2013
- Opening Bell: 12.09.13 December 9, 2013
- Tommy Belesis Will Have To Wait At Least 1 Year Before Threatening To Hit Another Broker With His Car December 5, 2013
- Who Among Us Wouldn't Listen To A Guy Pitch An Investment Involving "Pay-Per-View Programming Starring Carmen Electra" And Proceed To Wire Him $195,000? December 5, 2013
- Christmas Come Early For John Paulson December 6, 2013
- Charlie Gasparino's Gut Tells Him Trouble Is Brewing At Goldman Sachs, Though In Fairness That Could Just Be Last Night's Chinese December 6, 2013
- Write-Offs: 12.06.13 December 6, 2013
- Executive Editor
- Bess Levin
How Can We Help You?
- Send tips to:
- For tech issues email:
- For advertising or events email:
- For research or custom solutions email:
- Dealbreaker is published by Breaking Media.
For a full list of our sites, services and staff visit breakingmedia.com