Such as, how do you pronounce his last name? You might’ve assumed it was “Gund-lack” but it’s actually “Goond-lack.” Trying using it in a sentence. (If you want, take this one: “Good-lack, it’s really uncool that you haven’t returned my copy of Ass Traffic, Volume 9. Oh, what, now that you’ve got your own firm you don’t have to play by the rules?”) As for the other issues, Goond-lack completely avoids the question, which, if you want to talk about uncool, really tops. You’d think someone who previously claimed to in no way be ashamed but instead proud– as he well should be– of the library of porn in his office and the finest collection of dildos in the world wouldn’t have a problem talking Dr. Fellatio but apparently you’d think wrong.
DoubleLine LLC
Jeffrey Gundlach’s Milkshake, Sex And Drug Paraphernalia Bring All The Investors To The Yard
By Bess Levin
Suck it, TCW. No, really. Do it.
Congratulations are in order for Jeff Gundlach and the DoubleLine Team! In addition to being ranked number one globally in asses (on tape), the new firm has gathered the most assets among 2010 fund launches. Naturally this calls for a celebration and a screening of Ass Traffic Volume 2 at the office would probably be most fitting, if anyone has a copy lying around. Continue reading »
That’s at least the story the dildo collector told Bloomberg so okay, sure. Other things “The Godfather” (also known as “The Pope“) got off his chest include:
* The fact that he is, as previously stated, a genius:
“I am amazingly brilliant analytically,” says Gundlach, a wiry man whose short brown hair hugs his skull like a helmet.
* That the drugs, paraphernalia (“bearing evidence of recent use”), 12 sexual “devices,” 34 “hardcore pornographic magazines,” and 36 “hardcore sexually explicit DVDs and videocassettes” found in his former offices at TCW were nothing, and that attempts to use them in order to make him look bad were cheap, since it’s not like he had them scattered about the place.
Double fist pump for DoubleLine LLC! Earlier this week, when we discussed the matter of Jeffrey Gundlach, who’s being sued by his former employer, TCW, for conspiracy, unfair competition, theft of proprietary and having dozens upon dozens of dildos, hardcore pornos, spank rags and weed in his office, a few of you wondered if there would be any sort of fall-out for Gunds. Would his new clients take issue with his admission to keeping, among other things, Weapons of Ass Destruction, Dr. Fellatio 16, a 6-inch brown rubber penis, an 8-inch glass penis and a pink and black strap restraining device in his office? Would the colleagues who followed him out the door of TCW be regretting their decision? No word yet on how clients feel about all this but apparently the defectors like it just fine and they’ve convinced their friends to get on board the Trip Down Mammary Lane train. At least 7 TCW employees have joined the new shop as of yesterday.
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