drugs

…and the drugs they want to eat, sherpas they’re paying to haul their stuff, and free love they’re ready to unleash in the desert this week. Read more »

May 2010, Structured Portfolio Management founder Don Brownstein is said to “walk around [a] crowded conference room table while slapping the palm of his hand with a baseball bat, stopping behind [a trader] while stating, ‘I’ll kill you if you leave. The only way you can leave this firm is in a body bag.’” January 2012, Millenium Laboratories really cranks things up a notch re: suggestion of what fate will befall people who attempt to leave their company: Read more »

Toying with the idea of cranking things up a notch at work with a few lines of blow before the open, exploring the affects of Ecstasy on your ability to trade, smoking enough meth to lose your teeth and/or saying fuck it on casual Fridays and rolling in wearing a button down with the sleeves pushed up displaying your track marks for all to see, thereby debunking the stereotype you’re a yuppie asshole? You know we’ll always support you in whatever you do but please strongly consider putting off all of the above until the Fall when you’re less likely to die on the job. Read more »

Appearing outside the courthouse after being sentenced to 30 months in prison for her role in the Galleon insider trading case, cracking herself up, Raj Rajaratnam’s number one gal told reporters that should she run into legal troubles again, she’d appreciate it if the FBI “knocked on my door in the afternoon, not at 6AM” before she’s had time to make herself presentable. Read more »

Whether you need a new gig because you’ve been banned from the securities industry or just looking to supplement your income in the hopes of retiring early, might we suggest trying your hand at selling “incense” that will get you high? Derek Williams knows what we’re talking about. Read more »

Hint: he’s had more than 900 “on the money calls,” been endorsed as “one of the greats” in this business, shares in Chuck’s love of hookers, and his sleepovers at Sheen’s may have had something to do with the fact that he was throw out of his house. Read more »

Meaning your colleagues’ coke use is down 29% (only about .29% are blowing rails at their desk), while their heroin and prescription opiate use is up 20% and 18% respectively since 2008? Have you walked in on them freebasing a little in the men’s room before the open? Has anyone ever asked if they could borrow your belt so they might wrap it around their arm for “just a quick sec”? Do share! [Fortune]