May 2010, Structured Portfolio Management founder Don Brownstein is said to “walk around [a] crowded conference room table while slapping the palm of his hand with a baseball bat, stopping behind [a trader] while stating, ‘I’ll kill you if you leave. The only way you can leave this firm is in a body bag.’” January 2012, Millenium Laboratories really cranks things up a notch re: suggestion of what fate will befall people who attempt to leave their company: Read more »
Toying with the idea of cranking things up a notch at work with a few lines of blow before the open, exploring the affects of Ecstasy on your ability to trade, smoking enough meth to lose your teeth and/or saying fuck it on casual Fridays and rolling in wearing a button down with the sleeves pushed up displaying your track marks for all to see, thereby debunking the stereotype you’re a yuppie asshole? You know we’ll always support you in whatever you do but please strongly consider putting off all of the above until the Fall when you’re less likely to die on the job. Read more »
In December 2009, bond guru and self-described “genius” Jeffrey Gundlach quit TCW to start his own firm, DoubleLine LLC. When he left, his former employer alleges, he took with him TCW staff, client information, and technology, which form the basis of their suit against JG (who prefers to be called “The Pope”) that is set to go to trial July 25. What Gundlach did not take with him and instead left in his office for TCW to find was a cornucopia of drugs, paraphernalia, toys and porn that gave the impression he was operating a online wholesale sex shop distributor and keeping the inventory at work. The stash included: Read more »
Whether you need a new gig because you’ve been banned from the securities industry or just looking to supplement your income in the hopes of retiring early, might we suggest trying your hand at selling “incense” that will get you high? Derek Williams knows what we’re talking about. Read more »
Meaning your colleagues’ coke use is down 29% (only about .29% are blowing rails at their desk), while their heroin and prescription opiate use is up 20% and 18% respectively since 2008? Have you walked in on them freebasing a little in the men’s room before the open? Has anyone ever asked if they could borrow your belt so they might wrap it around their arm for “just a quick sec”? Do share! [Fortune]
Attempt 1: “The financial community here is buried in white powder.” Read more »
As the owner of a construction business, the housing market’s turn for the worst is 2008 spelled trouble for David Llwelleyn. After he was forced to close up shop, Llwelleyn found himself at a crossroads faced by many victims of the recession– take some soulless gig just because it was available and paid the bills or use the time to figure out what he really wanted to do with his life.
They say when one is trying to determine what that might be, the best thing is to do what you love– it won’t feel like a job, you’ll be able to put in many more hours than if it were just another slog to the finish and along the way, all the hard work might pay off. When Llwelleyn sat down to figure out which passion he conceivably turn into a career, he kept coming back to one thing– his love of crack. He picked himself up a business partner and it was off to the races.
The 49-year-old Scotsman didn’t go into the illegal drug trade. Instead, he entered the so-called “legal high” business—a burgeoning industry producing new psychoactive powders and pills that are marketed as “not for human consumption.” Mr. Llewellyn, a self-described former crack addict, started out making mephedrone, a stimulant also known as Meow Meow that was already popular with the European clubbing set. Once governments began banning it earlier this year, Mr. Llewellyn and a chemistry-savvy partner started selling something they dubbed Nopaine—a stimulant they concocted by tweaking the molecular structure of the attention-deficit drug Ritalin.
But is the knock-off stuff as good as the real deal? Nopaine “is every bit as good as cocaine,” Llewellyn assures. “You can freebase it. You can snort it like crack.” As for other questions potential investors might have about the business, Llewellyn has answers. Read more »
Fox Business’s Neil Cavuto is has told his staff to “bring cots and enough Red Bull to keep going” ’til 2 in the morning on election night, when programming will be focused on what the results mean for Wall Street. But what is Cavuto’s personal game plan? Glad you asked. Read more »
Has the financial crisis taken a toll on your drug usage? Fuck no, says recently released data. While only 2 percent of the finance industry failed drug tests last year, according to a firm that screens around 270 shops, versus 3.6% of all workers, those numbers are merely reflective of the fact that most finance gigs will only make you piss in a cup as a new hire, and not on a random Wednesday, several hours off your last bender [wipes brow]. Once you’re in, it’s highly unusual for HR to get up in your face about whether or not that was you blowing rails off the head of IR’s ass in the conference room. And speaking of preferences, what are the drugs of choice among the using set these days? Read more »
Have you been looking to jump ship but not yet found a shop well-suited to your needs and interests? Have you considered becoming a “model-mule”? It’s a booming field and you should get in when there are still openings available.
Sexy and daring women are appearing on most-wanted lists in the United States, Mexico and Colombia or are awaiting trial on charges of trafficking large quantities of cocaine. In some cases, these were women leading a lives of luxury and tranquility who suddenly found themselves forced to assume the day-to-day tasks of a narcotrafficking organization after the deaths or arrests of their husbands or brothers.
In other instances, the women gradually earned the respect of drug traffickers, often after showing an aptitude for financial management and money laundering, a former Colombian drug lord explained.