As you all are well aware, from time to time we cover food eating challenges around these parts. We don’t chronicle all the feats of gastrointestinal fortitude that come our way, though, because while we love you all, not all of your FECs constitute what we’d consider an actual challenge worth covering. As previously discussed, our high bar has everything to do with the first contest we ever wrote about (as a postmortem), which involved a man named Oyster Boy, who consumed 244 oysters in 1 hour at Ulysses, throwing down the gauntlet down for one of you to pick up, vis-à-vis goring yourself for sport. Do we really expect anyone to match OB in magnitude or strength of stomach lining? No, we do not. Having said that, “challenges” such as eating 8 vending machine items in 12 hours (or in an unlimited amount of time!) are not going to cut it. It’s not an exact science but we look for FECs that are imaginative, topical, and/or represent a high degree of difficulty. (And while we wouldn’t actually advise it, live streaming the whole thing would make our day.) Which brings us to this afternoon’s challenge. Read more »
As many of you know, though there are tremendous benefits to be gained from taking a public company, there are also serious downsides to consider, like unwanted scrutiny of your business practices. While executives at Dunkin’ Brands were probably pretty pleased with last week’s opening day pop, the IPO has presented some problems for the branch office employees who’ve been using the pastry purveyor as a front for the real goods they’re selling: ass-play and hand jobs via the mouth. Read more »
Standard Price Is Right Rules, closest without going over, guesses in by 3:45PM. Read more »
As you may have heard, Dunkin Donuts has created a new delicacy called Sausage Pancake Bites, which are ‘pancake balls’ stuffed with meat and dipped in syrup. Like KFC’s Double Down, this represents Dunkin’s foray into the exciting world of exotic battered-meat derivatives. To celebrate, someone must endeavor this week to consume an amount of Bites that would constitute a “challenge” and rile up self-appointed Obesity Czar, Julian Robertson. Read more »
Not an amazing get out of jail free card but I’d say definitely a pretty decent one, which was that Antoinette Hodgson had a dream. A dream to franchise a Dunkin Donuts. (As for the gambling spree, that very well could’ve been part of her investment strategy, you have no idea.)
Hodgson, 58, of Montclair, N.J., “spent hundreds of thousands of dollars at casinos in Atlantic City and Las Vegas,” according to a complaint charging her with conspiracy and wire fraud. “Antoinette Hodgson allegedly has already proved she’s a lousy gambler by losing the investor’s money in the casinos,” said George Venizelos, acting head of the FBI’s New York office. “She has now gambled with her future and faces serious charges for a plot of her own making.” In addition to blowing some of her illegal proceeds at the gaming tables, Hodgson allegedly spent $700,000 on a Dunkin’ Donuts franchise in Arizona and gave away tens of thousands of dollars to her family and friends.
11:00 A financial services hack is about to attempt 50 munchkins in 40 minutes. This strikes me as a bit weak but then again, so many of you have failed at even weaker challenges (20 vending machine items over the course of 8 hours? 5 bags of chips in 100 minutes) that we’ll take it. Mixed box– chocolate glazed, regular glazed, sugar coated, jelly filled. He’s 24, 5 ’11 and 175 lbs. Contender is a water polo player in his free time and “there is talk of some Speedo-wearing consequence if he fails.”
11:10: 15 munchkins down, 35 to go. “Faster-than expected start.”
11:12: I’ve been asked to add that “he is a premature balder, and also considers himself a Professional ‘Bro’.”
11:24: 34 down, 16 to go. “He is slowing down though and is no longer talking smack. I told him he should be eating the heavier munchkins first, he responded with ‘Shut the hell up.’ Also, forgot to mention he had a Bacon Egg and Cheese a few mins before starting.” Read more »
Sympathies to my Starbucks junkies in the audience who need it between the hours of 5:30 and 8:30 pm—the drug pushers are closing up shop for three hours tonight to re-train the 135,000 baristas that didn’t get fired last week on how to make your bullshit drink. CEO Howard Schultz said he thinks the tutorial will “foster enthusiasm [among] employees” which is an interesting take on the situation. (He also noted that the evening’s event is “a bold demonstration of our commitment to our core and a reaffirmation of our coffee leadership” which I’d been more inclined to buy if they could offer some level of assurance that ritual sacrifice will be involved.) The opportunistic leeches at Dunkin’ Donuts, in order to “ensure that no coffee lover is denied a delicious espresso-based beverage” will be selling lattes, cappuccinos and espresso drinks for the Suck It Starbucks promotional price of 99 cents from 1 p.m. to 10 p.m.
Speaking of Dunkin Donuts, after the jump, a word from DD spokeswoman Rachael Ray. Don’t bother with headphones; this is something you’ll want everyone within earshot to enjoy.