On November 6, 2012, as the results of the presidential election rolled in, a member of the Harvard Business School Class of 2010 considered ending it all. “The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony,” he wrote his fellow classmates yesterday. Sure, he had a lot to live for: friends, family, the earthly delights afforded to him by living in Southern California (“surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere”), as well as a new company and all that came with it (relationships with celebrities that straddle the line between “friend and service provider,” as well as invites to “the VMAs and private concerts in Vegas”). But he also had a lot of reasons to be good and angry at the world, including but not limited to: the state of California being “filled with so many hippie liberals” he just might snap and in doing so “choke out a street bum,” people who “sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed,” and, most vexingly, the reelection of Barack Obama.
And while he did not in fact end up leaping from his penthouse balcony apartment that night, make no mistake, he was and is exceedingly pissed about the direction this country is going, which is south on the Pacific Coast Highway right straight to hell. And whereas the endless stream of bums and hobos and hippies he encounters each and every day the second he steps out of his penthouse apartment probably would take the easy way out, because that’s what they do, he’s better than that. So instead, he went to bed, got up, sat down at his computer and channeled his anger into something productive: a list of suggestions for how we can get America back on track and in four years, rest it from the hands of the commie holding it hostage, like forcing candidates to use bullet points and telling people who don’t believe in capitalism to pack their shit because in 20 minutes a van is coming to ship their non-contributing zero asses off to a country where it’s not actually a “privilege” to live.
First, though, some life updates, because it really has been too long.
If You Ignore Many Of The Issues That Contributed To Mitt Romney Losing The Election, You Get To The Stuff People Really Care About, Explains Wise Beyond His Years Investment Banker/Baby Romney Supporter
The young Wall Street Republicans filling an East 60th Street tavern were sipping grapefruit-vodka cocktails under flag-colored balloons when Fox News delivered election results that quieted them. “Look,” Matthew Swift said to A. Beaumont Allen, pointing up at a screen as Fox called Ohio for President Barack Obama. The two 26-year-olds paused as the TV […]
At the private air terminal at Logan Airport in Boston early Wednesday, men in unwrinkled suits sank into plush leather chairs as they waited to board Gulfstream jets, trading consolations over Mitt Romney’s loss the day before. “All I can say is the American people have spoken,” said Kenneth Langone, the founder of Home Depot […]
According to a report by Reuters, some Romney supporters in the financial community will be having a more enjoyable evening tonight than others. In one corner you have those who will be partying (Julian Robertson, Paul Singer, Anthony Scaramucci and other top Romney donors have been invited to attend a soirée at the Westin Boston; John Paulson is throwing a small get-together at his Upper East Side townhouse; and “less prominent Wall Street fundraisers will be gathering at Brinkley’s Station, a bar and restaurant” on East 60th Street that serves “a $23.75 lobster club sandwich and $12 Bloody Marys”). In the other you have those who will be spending the night punishing themselves and telling anyone who calls, “I don’t deserve to have fun.”
Like Jason Ader, who told Reuters that although he was originally going to party his face off in Vegas, circa 7PM tonight you’ll find him pulling the lever at his polling station and telling his kids, through tears, “This is what it’s like to vote for a looooser.”
Money manager Jason Ader, who gained prominence as a Wall Street gaming analyst and is backing Romney, had been planning to travel to Las Vegas for an election night “watch party” at the Venetian Resort Hotel Casino. But in the aftermath of Sandy, Ader says he has decided to stay home. The manager of Ader Investment Management, which provides funding to small hedge funds, “will vote and watch at home with my young kids and educate them about the process and the returns,” he said.
And David Hinman who’s going to kick things off by swallowing the key to the fridge that houses his $21,000 bottle of 1928 Krug and then drawing the blinds shortly after nightfall and sleeping on the floor in a hair shirt.
David Hinman, chief investment officer of SW Asset Management, a Newport Beach, California-based investment firm, said in an email: “100 percent Obama wins; no reason to party.”
Already exhausted from a massive cleanup and nightmarish commutes to work, thousands of U.S. voters in storm-struck New York and New Jersey encountered confusion and long lines as they tried to cast ballots in a cliffhanger presidential election…Voting at the YMCA on West 63rd Street in Manhattan was delayed because election officials could not find the ballot cards and scanners were not working properly. Among those arriving to vote there was Lloyd Blankfein, the chief executive of investment banking powerhouse Goldman Sachs. He left before voting there began. [Reuters]
Dennis Gartman, publisher of the widely-read Gartman Letter, is predicting that Mitt Romney will win the presidential election, according his latest newsletter. Not only does Gartman think that Romney has a chance of winning the election, but he believes he can win “quite handily.” […] Still, Gartman points out that he could be “terribly wrong” […]
“I think people are getting to know the real Mitt Romney. I am thrilled that that is happening. He is really quite a guy. He is, in my opinion, intellectually and morally and managerially the man that is most qualified by far to be president of the United States. You’re having a guy this afternoon that is a great hero of mine, but Mitt Romney is even better than Ken Langone…I think the campaign is going good. I think Governor Romney is really getting the American people to see the real Romney. That is what we have needed all along. I wish his family would expose itself more…I’d like to see Mrs. Romney, I would like to see the boys out and all of that more.”
Tiger’s Robertson: hedge fund managers are scared [BloombergTV]
Last November, hedge fund manager Leon Cooperman penned an “Open Letter To The President Of The United States of America,” in which he detailed the many ways Barack Obama was pissing him off. The Omega Advisors founder accused the President (and his “minions”) of engaging in class warfare, expressed disbelief that he could attack “capitalists who…fill store shelves at Christmas” and still sleep at night, and advised Obama to “eschew the polarizing vernacular of political militancy,” lest he lose* Cooperman’s vote the next year. While LC says that he received a major outpouring of support for his words (“[he] keeps a bulging manila folder of congratulatory notes in his office”), others were less than pleased at what they saw as a guy who actually has done pretty okay under Obama lashing out because his feelings were hurt on the occasions the president was perceived to have a “tone” in his voice when discussing the mega-wealthy (“If I knew where you lived, I’d put a bomb in your car,” one person wrote Cooperman to say). Similarly, Cooperman’s suggestion, on at least two occasions, that America should be worried about the startling parallels between Obama’s rise to power and that of Adolf Hitler,** was met with mixed reviews, including one by his wife in which she called him a “schmuck.” And while some*** have found it preposterous that Cooperman would paint himself as a victim of Obama, their astonishment speaks to not knowing the whole story, i.e. exactly what this man- no, this monster- did to Leon.
Last July, before he had written the letter, Cooperman was invited to the White House for a reception to honor wealthy philanthropists who had signed Bill and Melinda Gates and Warren Buffett’s Giving Pledge, promising to donate at least fifty per cent of their net worth to charity. At the event, Cooperman handed the President two copies of “Inspired: My Life (So Far) in Poems,” a self-published book written by Courtney Cooperman, his fourteen-year-old granddaughter. Cooperman was surprised that the President didn’t send him a thank-you note or that Malia and Sasha Obama, for whom the books were intended as a gift and to whom Courtney wrote a separate letter, didn’t write to Courtney. (After Cooperman grumbled to a few friends, including Cory Booker, the mayor of Newark, Michelle Obama did write. Booker, who was also a recipient of Courtney’s book, promptly wrote her “a very nice note,” Cooperman said.)
Now do you understand? Now do you understand? Even Hitler would have sent SOMETHING.
Super-Rich Irony [New Yorker]
Earlier: Leon Cooperman Doesn’t Like The Tone Of President Obama’s Voice
*Just messing about him ever being in a position to “lose” it, of course.
**Settle down, he wasn’t saying Obama IS Hitler, would would be biologically impossible, he was just saying Obama is the second coming of Hitler, which is something people should be aware of:
“You know, the largest and greatest country in the free world put a forty-seven-year-old guy that never worked a day in his life and made him in charge of the free world,” Cooperman told the New Yorker in May. “Not totally different from taking Adolf Hitler in Germany and making him in charge of Germany because people were economically dissatisfied. Now, Obama’s not Hitler. I don’t even mean to say anything like that. But it is a question that the dissatisfaction of the populace was so great that they were willing to take a chance on an untested individual.”
***Mrs. Cooperman, for example.:
She is still a liberal, a position that puts her in the minority in their social circle. “She can be a socialist because she’s married to a capitalist,” Cooperman says of his wife, who is strongly pro-choice and pro-gay marriage. She calls Todd Akin, Rick Santorum, and Rick Perry “morons,” and she worries about the underclass. “I care more about the disadvantaged people of America,” she said, comparing her politics with those of her husband.
As you may have heard, the Democratic National Convention was held in Charlotte this week. As you may have also heard, some people who figuratively work on Wall Street have had their feelings hurt over the last several years by President Obama, who they believe could have chosen his words more carefully when speaking about […]
Anyone but you know who.
Paul Singer, a prominent hedge-fund manager, has employed many tactics in seeking to ensure a Republican victory in November…he approached Rep. Paul Ryan and offered to back him in a presidential bid. When Mr. Ryan demurred, Mr. Singer’s support helped him emerge as the vice-presidential nominee, people close to the matter said…Mr. Singer has warmed up to Mr. Romney though he didn’t support his run for president in 2008 and last year pushed…New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie to run. “As I have gotten to know Mitt I have become increasingly of the view that he will make a very fine president,” Mr. Singer said in a rare interview.
Even more telling, Ryanism’s alarming ascendancy has stripped the veneer off some centrist groups long-believed by some on the right to front for liberal policies. For example, the cofounder of the nonpartisan self-described “moderate” organization Third Way has described Ryan as a “radical and a bomb-thrower.” (So shrill have the organization’s attacks on Ryan been […]
By the time that Obama ran for President, in 2008, his relations with the financial industry had grown warmer, and he attracted more donations from Wall Street leaders than John McCain, his Republican opponent, did. Yet this good feeling did not last, despite the government’s bailout of the banking sector. Many financial titans felt that […]
“I spend way too much of my time thinking about politics these days because government is way too involved in financial markets these days,” he said in a rare interview. He later added. “Part of my sensitivity to these issues is that I now live in the middle of a hyper-regulated industry, where not only is government affecting how capital markets work, or how banks work, but (the government) is punishing savers.” The 43-year-old hedge fund manager said he has invested more time than ever before on politics since the financial crisis of 2008 nearly crippled Citadel. The firm’s two flagship funds have since recovered, surpassing their so-called highwater marks this year…”I think (the ultra-wealthy) actually have an insufficient influence,” Griffin said in an interview at Citadel’s downtown office. “Those who have enjoyed the benefits of our system more than ever now owe a duty to protect the system that has created the greatest nation on this planet.” [Chicago Tribune, related]
Anonymous Sports Book Manager left academia to run a trading department at one of the world’s largest offshore bookmaking outfits. He now works onshore with his cellphone, pencil, rice paper, and a bucket of water. He’s trying to go legit as a consultant (please send job offers), but every time he gets out of the […]
If you’re into this sort of thing you can go read Mitt Romney’s tax returns and learn (on page 5 of the 2011 return) that he is in the “independent artists, writers, performers” business, which seems about right. (But which one?) You can also learn that he’s doing okay, financially-wise, and some more specific stuff; […]