This is a rambling, anonymous, first-person account of one guy talking his way out of a job at Morgan Stanley. It starts with him finding some MS chick’s cell in a cab, reading the text messages between her and her married boss (with whom she was having an affair), returning the phone, asking to send a resume, interviewing, not being patient enough to wait and hear he got the job, cursing the adulteress out over email and being told to seek professional help. It’s oddly hypnotic. If you’ve ever been in a similar situation, do share. [PRR]
emails
“I will paraphrase the email with a Lil Wayne lyric which is ‘throw dirt on me and grow a wildflower’ but it also said some stuff about Credit Default Swaps”
By Bess LevinIn the spirit of the two holidays being celebrated this week– Thanksgiving and Insider Trading Fest(ivus) 2010— let’s stop and take a moment to reflect. Many are probably not thankful for the feds’ decision to shove a shiv up a number of Wall Street firms’ asses. What you can be thankful for, however, is the FBI’s probe spawning this– a wide-ranging theory connected the insider trading, the Chinese government, the MassGOP, and female hormone pills. It’s suggested that the following is read in the voice of noted dot connecter, Blenn Geck, with the lights off and a flashlight under one’s chin. Drums should beat ominously in the background, too. Continue reading »
From: [redacted at Morgan Stanley]
To: [his colleagues]
Subject: FOODSomeone stole my dinner on Friday night…I’m not happy. I just want everyone to know that everyone is a suspect.
Ever since he was named Treasury Secretary, Tim Geithner has suffered from a lack of respect, both from the outside world and internally. His boss makes “jokes” in public about dogs pissing on him, people refuse to believe he didn’t work at Goldman Sachs and hardly a day goes by without a story claiming he’s getting fired and replaced by (take your pick) Jamie Dimon, Mike Bloomberg, or Jojo the idiot circus boy. Today brings yet another blow, this time from the IT department at the World Bank, which appears to be sending a subtle hint. Continue reading »
Don't let the smile deceive you-- he's not happy about this.
Time was, if you worked at Citi, one of the “perks” of the job was that you could let loose over email in ways other banks had already put the kibosh on. The big C may not pay the most, it may offer little to no prestige, and it definitely lost some fans when the “no catching a beej on the corporate jet” rule was enforced but inappropriate emails? Oh, that was something employees hung onto with pride. You wanted to have a rousing discussion about the best stall in which to JO&C? The mood struck Vikram to have a back and forth with Prince Alwaleed about a certain naughty hawk? Someone was wondering about the physics behind inserting a whiteboard marker in an underling’s rectum? You found yourself dialoguing about Lenny Dykstra about setting up a time for your call and things suddenly got…weird? That was okay!
No longer. Because someone presumably took things a little too far (best guesses as to who ruined it for everyone welcome), Citi is putting its foot down. As employees have until July 17 to lock it up, we suggest making the most of the next 26 days.
From: Compliance Training
Sent: Thursday, June 17, 2010 6:00 PM
To: Citi Employees
Subject: URGENT TRAINING REQUEST FROM CYNTHIA ARMINE, CHIEF COMPLIANCE OFFICER*** PLEASE DO NOT FORWARD THIS EMAIL ***
Recent headlines involving inappropriate e-mails are an important reminder to “think before writing, read before sending” lessons of the past scandals affecting the financial services business. To this end, employees are required to take a ten minute online training program titled Improper Electronic Communications briefing the do’s and don’ts of electronic communications.
Wall Street Rants: “Go ahead and continue to take us down, but you’re only going to hurt yourselves.”
By Bess LevinAn email apparently going around today.
“We are Wall Street. It’s our job to make money. Whether it’s a commodity, stock, bond, or some hypothetical piece of fake paper, it doesn’t matter. We would trade baseball cards if it were profitable. I didn’t hear America complaining when the market was roaring to 14,000 and everyone’s 401k doubled every 3 years. Just like gambling, its not a problem until you lose. I’ve never heard of anyone going to Gamblers Anonymous because they won too much in Vegas.
- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
