As many of you are aware, today marks a very momentous occasion. I am not referring to Jorge Soros finally being appointed to the NAMBLA executive committee, though it is indeed cause for celebration and we’ll have more on that later. Right now we’re talking about a lady named Erin Callan, who rejoins the workforce today.
For those who’ve forgotten, back in June Callan’s former boss Dick Fuld was under a little pressure to fire someone for Lehman Brothers’s dropping stock, and he took the chivalrous route and chose her (along with Joseph Gregory, for wearing an ugly green suit). Callan was actually offered a pity gig in the investment banking unit, but obviously that was demeaning and beneath her, and declined (as erstwhile CFO, Callan’s decision to bail probably also had something to do with the insider information that the ship was/is going down hard).
Anywho, she took a job with the much more affable Brady Dougan at Credit Suisse as Managing Director and head of its Global Hedge Fund Business, a position created specially her, and starts today. She’s probably a little excited and little nervous, as most first-timers are, so we want to do something nice for her. Obviously we’re going to run into trouble if we show up at 11 Madison Avenue ourselves and try to get some face time with EZ-E so we’re going to take the delivery boy route. But we can’t decide what would be the most appropriate gift. So! If you would be so kind as to let us know which of the following you think would be best, or nominate your own idea, that’d be great. We’d like to get something out by 12, so chop chop.
1. Flowers
2. A cheesesteak
3. A panty-gram (SFW)
Erin Callan
…And join Credit Suisse, where Brady Dougan promises to take full responsibility for his mistakes. At the marginally more successful, slightly less tax-evading Swiss bank in town, Callan will serve as Managing Director and head of its Global Hedge Fund Business, a position created specially for well-heeled woman. Callan’s new gig starts on September 2, which also happens to be someone‘s birthday, so hopefully she’ll be down for a joint celebration. Interestingly enough, when asked by Erin Burnett about the appointment, Jim Cramer chose to say nothing, which has never happened before. Make of that what you will.
Earlier: CFO Erin Callan, COO Joseph Gregory Out At Lehman Brothers
Earlier this morning, a tipster pointed us in the direction of David Einhorn’s Wikipedia entry. It read, “David Einhorn is a Porn Star and President of Greenlight Capital.” Initially, we deemed it the work of Erin Callan. But then we realized–this was a compliment. Obviously, it came from one of his fans, not enemies. Unfortunately, the groupie/merry prankster was pretty unimaginative. S/he should’ve drawn out the joke to say that Einhorn performed his duties under various noms de porn, such as: David BigHorn, David Einschlong, and David YankMeinHorn. And that got us thinking. Why should YankMeinHorn be the only one given porn cred? And since there are so many deserving hedge funds out there, and we have a yuks quotient/day to fulfill, herewith, we present the Top Pornified Hedge Fund Names.
David Faber, who nothing is ever good enough for, says no. Einhorn?
CNBC’s Charlie Gasparino reports that Lehman Brothers has fired CFO Erin Callan* and COO Joseph Gregory. Ian Lowitt will take over as CFO and Bart McDade will be named president and COO. Gasparino said Fuld felt the reorganization was necessary because the dropping stock indicated the market had lost confidence in his team. We’re not buying that the ugly green suit didn’t factor into Fuld’s decision.
*Supposedly she’ll “rejoin” the investment banking unit. That won’t be weird or anything.
Dick Fuld: Eroded Investor Confidence? Diluted Shareholder Value? Constant Harping On What We’re Doing Wrong By That Twit, David Einhorn? No Biggie. Ugly Green Suit? GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE.
By Bess LevinMany of you got your panties in a twist yesterday over that fact that Lehman Brothers CFO Erin Callan “stands out” by wearing designer clothes, has a personal shopper and just generally doesn’t look like a slob when she comes into the office, because it means she’s not “focused.” (If she wore unattractive pantsuits and had cookie crumbs running down her shirt, the climate at LEH would be markedly different than it is today. It’d practically be Goldman!* Erin says she wants everyone to stop comparing the Brothers to Bear, but at least sartorially speaking, they’re looking pretty similar, considering that on the days he made it into the office, Jimmy Cayne was known to wear micro-minis, pearl thongs, and stilettos that could take an eye out, which BSC chronicler Charlie Gasparino believes was a major factor in the firm’s demise.)
But apparently, Callan’s focus on fashion isn’t so much a “chick thing,” or a sign that she doesn’t have what it takes to hack it than it is a requirement of the job, lest she be taken to task by clotheshorse Dick Fuld who, on the DL, is placing calls ’round the clock in the hopes of landing a guest spot on the next season of Project Runway.
*Kidding, of course, though it’s pretty well-known that the secret to GS’s success = shlubbs.
Lehman Brothers chief financial officer Erin Callan this morning faced what was perhaps the biggest challenge of her career: explaining Lehman’s losses and need to raise capital to the markets. She began by lowering expectations–saying the Q&A on this morning’s conference call would be limited because this was a preliminary announcement and more granular numbers were still being worked out–and wound up answering many questions in great details.
She’s getting mixed reactions. Many are impressed by her confidence and competence with talking about Lehman’s large asset sell-off and deleveraging. Others, however, aren’t sure that Lehman really has a enough of a grip of the risks faced by its portfolio. So we decided to ask the experts, you.
After the jump, our poll on Callan’s Monday morning performance.
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