ex-wives

Shhh, he didn't mean it.

Shhh, he didn’t mean it.

As those of you who keep up with the Life And Times of Steven A. Cohen know, there are few things on this earth that the hedge fund manager despises more than his first bride, Patricia Cohen. So despite the fact that she has been suing him nearly five years; is, in the words of his lawyer Martin Klotz, “harass[ing] and embarrass[ing] Steven,”; and, at this point, wants what represents approximately 1/900000th of his personal wealth, the SAC Capital founder continues to refuse to settle this thing privately and throw her a dime. While merely casual observers of the Big Guy assumed that Patty’s recent victory, wherein she “won permission as part of a 25-year-old divorce battle to question him about any lies he may have told related to wrongdoing at the hedge fund” would’ve gotten him to budge, SAC Scholars know better.

“It’s a bit of a head-scratcher,” said Anthony Sabino, a business law professor at St. John’s University in New York, who has followed the case. “He’s been pilloried in the press. You’d have to think he is sick and tired of that and would like to get out of the spotlight. It’s baffling why he just doesn’t say, ‘Here’s the money, why not leave us alone?’”

For the record, here are a list of things Steve Cohen would rather do than give his ex-wife satisfaction, monetary or otherwise: Read more »

stevecohen (1)Also about how he had “no idea” who might’ve been responsible for sideswiping Tim in accounting’s driver side mirror, despite the fact that he was seen peeling out of the parking lot at the time of the incident. This upcoming bout truthiness brought to you by Cohen’s ex-bride, Patricia C. Read more »

Patricia Cohen, previously known as one half of Mr. and Mrs. Steven A. Cohen, has new representation in her quest to nail her ex-husband to the wall. And while some might assume that the fact that she’s on her fifth attorney as meaning this case is dead in the water, others like the ex-Mrs. SAC’s chances. Read more »

A good rule to follow when hoping to be taken seriously is not to equate the deliberate killing of specific groups of people based on their race, religion or political affiliation with anything other than the deliberate killing of specific groups of people based on their race, religion or political affiliation. For the most part, people follow this guideline without even having to think about it, but every now and then, emotionally charged issues come up and cause them to stray. For billionaires, there is no more emotionally-charged issue than that of their money. Back in 2010, Blackstone chief Stephen Schwarzman told board members of a non-profit that “the struggle with the [Obama] administration over increasing taxes on private equity” was “like when Hitler invaded Poland in 1939.” In the lead up to the 2012 election, hedge fund manager Leon Cooperman remarked to the New Yorker: “…the largest and greatest country in the free world took a forty-seven year-old guy that never worked a day in his life and made him in charge of the free world. Not totally different from taking Adolf Hitler in Germany and making him in charge of Germany because people were economically dissatisfied.” The outcry that followed those references to the Third Reich ensured two years without a persecuted job-creator reaching for a Hitlerian metaphor.* This, apparently, was time enough for the lesson to be unlearned by one Tom Perkins.

As you’ve likely heard by now, late Friday afternoon, the Wall Street Journal printed a letter to the editor written by Perkins entitled “Progressive Kristallnacht Coming?” Perkins was identified as “A founder of Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers,” a biographical detail that subsequently forced the venture capital firm to essentially disavow its relationship with one of the guys on its letterhead, tweeting:

There aren’t many major corporations that wouldn’t squirm a little bit to have namesakes throwing Kristallnacht around in letters to the editor. Unfortunately for KPC&B, the 184 words that followed made the headline seem reasonable. Let’s take a look. Read more »

Martin Klotz, the attorney representing Cohen,* has thrown himself at the mercy of the court and asked, for the umpteenth time, that suit brought by Patrica Cohen– the ex-wife that could– be dismissed. Klotz made the request of U.S. District Judge William Pauley who, if you’re keeping track at home, is the second judge to preside over this case, while the plaintiff is on her third lawyer. Read more »

James Dondero is the founder and CEO of Highland Capital Management, a Dallas-based hedge fund. In addition to his duties at the firm, a portion of Dondero’s time is currently being spent on two legal matters. One is his divorce from Becky Dondero, who he’s been battling in court for over two years. The second is his lawsuit against former Highland PM Patrick Daugherty, who the firm described as a “megalomaniacal” manager known for engaging in “abusive tirades” that “dehumanized employees.” Perhaps coincidentally, the suit against Daugherty was filed two weeks after he testified on behalf of Becky Dondero, claiming that over drinks, James told him of a plan to “get his net worth down and pay [Becky] as little as possible.” Daughtery also alleged that Dondero asked him to lie on the stand, and to try remember a time when Daughtery regarded Becky as “a whore.”

Anyway, it wouldn’t be too crazy to think that all of this might be slightly distracting to Dondero and occupy at least a small portion of the attention he might otherwise devote to his day job at Highland. Even Jimmy recognizes that it’s a reasonable assumption to make. But, he assures you, it is an incorrect one. Rather, Dondero can expend unlimited energy on both making investors top dollar AND making sure his estranged spouse gets nada while at the same time making his sworn enemy look ridiculous. The reason we know this is that Highland has released a nearly 1,000-word press release saying as much. Read more »

  • 23 Sep 2013 at 2:01 PM

Steve Cohen Not The Only One Sick Of His Ex-Wife

Those of you who’ve kept a detailed spreadsheet of Things That Are Pains In Steve Cohen’s Ass know that a particularly hide-chapping outstanding item is that of his ex-wife, Patricia. Her existence in general, sure, but specifically the lawsuit she filed against him nearly four years ago. Over the years, the case has been dismissed and the case has been reinstated; Patty has replaced one lawyer, and another, and settled on a third; and the former Mrs. Cohen has gone from asking for $300 million to half of SAC to a measly $8.25 million. The one thing that hasn’t changed? Her desire to nail her ex-husband to the wall. And while she seems to have vowed to never, ever give up in her quest to do so, one member of the bench has decreed she’s got one final shot at settling this the legal way and then must resign herself to getting back at her ex by sticking pins in her Stevie doll. Read more »