Fat Man

Remember the group of old high school buddies, who put Colonia High Class of ’88 on the map when they were criminally and civilly prosecuted for an “insider trading scheme focused on pharmaceutical and medical technology stocks”? They’ve all received punishments that range from fines to prison time and that’s in spite of the fact that:

  • The phrase “I have some vacation pictures for you” was a cover for payments made to tippers
  • Deals were referred to in code as the “Fat Man,” while updates on the statuses of deals were communicated with lines like “fat man has a friend” and “fat man walks alone”
  • One of the men assured everyone that even if the Securities and Exchange Commission did catch on, they wouldn’t have the resources to do anything about it. (To wit: “The SEC’s got to pick their battle because they have a limited number of people and huge numbers of investors to go after.”

And yet! Read more »

fatnlittle.jpgLiterally, and not like, as a metaphor for the markets repeatedly slamming his nuts in a drawer. From today’s Sex Diary:

B, the CEO of a bank, likes for me to kick him repeatedly in the testicles. I threaten him with my two pink dildos, Fat Man and Little Boy. Sometimes I’m disturbed by the ease with which I perform acts of such egregious violence. He calls what we do making love.

Read more »

Schwarzman Joke Bombs In Boca

Steve Schwarzman, the head of private equity giant Blackstone, has found himself in hot water after he made some remarks at his firm’s boondoggle at Florida’s Boca Raton Resort & Club. In an early morning session, Schwarzman was noodling over Blackstone’s failed attempt to buy the mortgage company PHH, a deal that collapsed when Blackstone discovered no one was willing to lend it money for the acquisition, Peter Lattman explains on DealJournal. To illustrate just how radioactive the mortgage industry has become to financial players, Schwarzman decided to exercise his well known penchant for world history.
“Trying to buy a mortgage bank in the midst of the subprime crisis was the equivalent of being a noodle salesman in Nagasaki when the atomic bomb went off. Not a lot of noodles left, or even a person, and that’s what happened to us on this deal,” Schwarzman said.
Some are now speculating that this remark could have some serious fallout with Blackstone’s business efforts in Japan. If it does mushroom into a major issue, it could cast a cloud over Blackstone’s many important Japanese connections. Apparently, some of those Japanese types don’t find noodle salesmen appropriate material for homey, jokey anecdotes.

Steve Schwarzman’s Take on the Subprime Mess
[DealJournal]