FBI

At the end of October, Deutsche Bank held a town hall on the topic of electronic communication, specifically the perils of making statements re: engaging in fraud, even in jest. To be safe, one should reserve such riffing for face-to-face conversations, or, to avoid headaches in the form of house calls from the FBI, insert some sort of disclaimer in the chat making clear that any talk of breaking the law is not to be taken seriously. Clearly, these are good tips that Deutsche employees will presumably employ moving forward. Unfortunately, they came a bit too late for trader Richard Whalen, who in retrospect would’ve appreciated hearing them before taking part in the “ill-advised” banter that led to this: Read more »

Enough, already! You don’t need to increase your compliance staff 20-fold; you just need to stop insider-trading. Read more »

  • 07 Jan 2013 at 4:17 PM

Anti-Fraud Technology Helping FBI Nail Morons

Are you considering committing fraud? Do you plan to discuss your activities over email? Are you unaware of the fact that writing things like, “Nobody will find out” or “I’ll leave a garbage bag filled with our ill-gotten gains in the dumpster out back” might help tip off people looking to crack down on crime? If you answered yes to all of the above, this information could actually be of use to you: Read more »

There is no denying that Jeffrey Gundlach is a hugely talented man whose IQ would rank among the highest in the world if he ever had it tested. “What’s it like having lunch with a genius,” he once asked a colleague, who presumably answered, “To be honest, it’s giving me an inferiority complex just breathing the same air as you, knowing that your brain is the standard for how intelligence will be measured from now until the end of eternity.” Until recently, however, the application of Gundlach’s brilliance was largely confined to bond management. According to a new profile by Bloomberg Markets, though, Gundlach’s intellectual prowess is just as if not more impressive when it comes to crime solving. Read more »

Charlie Gasparino is on the scene: Read more »

  • 28 Feb 2012 at 3:52 PM

Getting Half-Arrested

It’s been dead here lately with the NBA on break. Not so for Irish, a cross-town bookie who called to pass along that he was “half-arrested”. I kind of thought that getting half-arrested was like getting half-pregnant, so I asked for details.

Two plainclothes city cops knocked on his door mid-morning: could he please come down to the precinct at 3 p.m. to answer some questions? So Irish dutifully showed up with our lawyer. (Yeah, most of us here use the same lawyer. He’s something of a specialist. It’s our version of Group Medical.)

The cops wanted Irish to talk all about all his customers, but nobody specific. Wanted Irish’s stream-of-consciousness or whatever. Our lawyer summed up all the righteous indignation $300-an-hour can buy and said that first, Irish wasn’t admitting making book. Second, if he was a bookie, idly chatting about clients’ lives would kill his business. Last, being a customer is never a crime, ever. Read more »

“The movie was fiction…the problem is real.” Read more »