Sure, Bill could let himself get upset about how things are panning out this year but he’s not. And if anyone should be freaking out about the way things are going, you’d better believe it’s him. He’s got mucho personal dinero tied up in this thing and if it goes down big time, it’s gonna be good-bye weekly Target shopping sprees, hello can I fill out a job JCPenney job application. And yet here he is, no freak outs, no panicking, no how am I going to get myself out of this. Everything is fine, there is nothing to worry about. If you were invested with a manager like, for instance, John Paulson, then you could worry. Then it’d be totally understandable to consider yourself fucked- big time. Luckily for you, though, you’re with Pershing and at Pershing, we focus on the big picture. Rome wasn’t built in a day and places like Family Dollar aren’t going to become premier shopping destinations without a little patience. So: Do. Not. Worry. About. Your. Money. All is good. Take a deep breath, calm down, and dry those eyes. We’re all in this together and if Bill’s not crying, you shouldn’t be either. Read more »
- 27 Nov 2013 at 1:30 PM
The holiday season is nigh and you still haven’t shopped. While you’re dreaming only of sugar plum fairies bearing fat bonuses, you don’t the time to mingle with the riff raff at some big box nightmare. Dealbreaker is here to help. Behold the 2013 Dealbreaker Holiday Gift Guide, chockfull of descriptors like “custom,” “gourmet,” “housecleaning,” and “DB swag.”
Click through to check out all of our gift choices for the hardcore capitalist in your life.
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