• Private Equity

    Private Equity Firm Happy To Let Investors Hire A Babysitter

    Really, Freeman Spogli & Co. wouldn’t have it any other way. It is simply the nicest way of thanking it for all of the money it’s made for you over the past three decades. Documents obtained by The New York Times show that the independent adviser appointment was disclosed after officials at the Securities and […]

    / Dec 29, 2014 at 3:31 PM
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    Hedge Funds

    UK Hedge Fund Manager’s Chickens To Maintain The Lifestyle They’ve Grown Accustomed To In 2013

    What motivates a hedge fund manager to continue busting his ass to churn out profits year after year, once he’s already amassed a fortune most people can’t even fathom, when he could easily pack it all in and live more than comfortably without ever working another day? For some, it’s the thrill. For others, it’s the trophy’s wife’s shoe habit. For Crispin Odey, it’s the chickens.

    The Odey Asset Management founder (and sausage brand ambassador)’s got a mess of high-maintenance ones and earlier this year, had architects draft blueprints of a “Palladian-style” mansion he intended to build them (seen at left), replete with a grey zinc roof, “pediments, cornice, architrave, and frieze in English oak,” and columns “hewn from the finest grey Forest of Dean standstone.” After finishing 2011 down 20.3%, things were no doubt more than a little tense over in Herefordshire, where questions of whether or not construction would have to be halted, or if they’d have to make the switch to [whispers] generic-brand feed. Certainly a moment of panic swept over Odey each day when he returned home, wondering as he turned the knob if he’d be entering an empty house, the chickens gone and a note explaining they couldn’t do this anymore on the fridge. Ran off with the general contractor because what was the point of shacking up with a money manger if the money wasn’t there? Luckily for all parties involved, it won’t have to come to that; according to Bloomberg Markets’ annual ranking of the top performing hedge funds, performing under pressure is one of Odey’s specialities.

    / Jan 4, 2013 at 2:08 PM
  • News

    How Will Morgan Stanley Be Able To Pay Tech Bankers With A Measly $100mm Facebook IPO Fee?

    I really hope that Facebook is just faking us all out with this whole “we’re IPO’ing on Wednesday” thing that they haven’t said, in part because I have yet to park $100k of the Dealbreaker slush fund/Bloomberg budget in Facebook shares on SharesPost. But just in case they actually do something next week let’s analyze […]

    / Jan 27, 2012 at 6:45 PM
  • News

    Which Hedge Funds Were Most Profitable In 2011?

    The latest issue of Bloomberg Markets magazine has the answer to that burning question but first, let’s take a gander at who had the best performance, among large hedge funds. 1. Tiger Global, YTD total return: 45% (assets, in billions: 6.0) 2. Renaissance Institutional Equities, 33.1% (7.0) 3. Pure Alpha II, 23.5% (53.0) 4. Discus […]

    / Jan 10, 2012 at 10:41 AM
  • News

    Brian Moynihan: Bank Of America Is In Charge Of Bank Of America’s Own Destiny

    Since Bank of America announced it’s intent to charge $5 fees on debit cards holder choosing to use their debt card in any given month, the Charlottte-based bank has been on the receiving end of a whole lot of shit. Obama tut tutted the move, Dick Durbin told customers to “get the heck out of […]

    / Oct 6, 2011 at 5:13 PM
  • News

    If At Least 4 Banks Sign Up Before Midnight The Deal Is On

    Groupon Inc., seeking to raise $750 million in an initial public offering, asked six more banks to help underwrite the sale, including Barclays Plc and JPMorgan Chase & Co, said two people with knowledge of the situation. Citigroup Inc., Deutsche Bank AG, Bank of America Corp. and Allen & Co. were also offered a role, […]

    / Jun 10, 2011 at 10:23 AM
  • News

    Citadel Loosening Lockups, Considering Cutting Fees To Lure New Investors

    Does a mere two and a half years to get out and 3&30 sound like something you’d be interested in?

    / May 17, 2011 at 4:20 PM
  • News

    DE Shaw Cuts Rates

    Like a Thai hooker with the clap.

    / Feb 16, 2011 at 9:45 AM
  • News

    Who Were The Most Profitable Hedge Funds Of 2010?

    The latest issue of Bloomberg Markets magazine has the answer to that burning question but first, let’s take a gander at who had the best performance, among large hedge funds. Congratulations to all for jobs very well done. Unfortunately, with the exception of Bridgewater, none of the above made the sort of money that would […]

    / Jan 6, 2011 at 10:45 AM
  • News

    Millenium’s Izzy Englander Speaks Out Against Tyranny Of Management Fees

    Izzy Englander’s hedge fund, Millennium Management, does not charge management fees, for the same reason that it does not engage in the sex trafficking of minors or run a white slavery ring on the side: to do so (charge investors fees or force people to work for him against their own will) would be sick, […]

    / Nov 9, 2010 at 4:42 PM
  • News

    If Cliff Asness’s Investors Don’t Like 2 And 20 They Can Take Their Action Figures And Leave

    They can also suck it, but first things first.

    / Oct 28, 2010 at 11:55 AM
  • News

    Hedge Fund Investors Want Steve Cohen To Pull Back His Kimono, Think Ken Griffin Doesn’t Care About Them

    For its September issue, Absolute Return is running a “hedge fund report card.” The magazine polled hundreds of investors, asking them to rate their respective funds based on factors that included alignment of interests, alpha generation, independent oversight, infrastructure, transparency and liquidity terms. The results put York Capital at number one, followed by Bridgewater Associates, […]

    / Sep 1, 2010 at 4:26 PM

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