fish

Deutsche Bank co-CEO Jürgen Fitschen, already the subject of a German tax-fraud probe, has come under further pressure after political leaders accused him of trying to influence the investigation by calling a senior German politician to protest a police raid on the bank’s headquarters last week. On Thursday, a day after the surprise search, Mr. Fitschen contacted Volker Bouffier, governor of the state of Hesse, where Deutsche Bank is based, to complain about the action. Mr. Bouffier declined to intervene, according to his spokesman. The state government has ultimate authority over the prosecutor’s office…The Deutsche Bank CEO faced criticism from senior German lawmakers on Monday who accused him of trying to undermine the judicial process. The call has left the impression that Deutsche Bank thinks it is “above the law,” said Michael Meister, a senior official in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s center-right party. “The prosecutor’s investigation must be supported,” he said. “Deutsche Bank has to send a clear signal.” Other political leaders were less polite. “A fish rots from the head down. That also applies to Deutsche Bank’s boardroom,” the Handelsblatt newspaper quoted Green party co-chief Jürgen Trittin as saying. [WSJ]

Point: “The latest urban legend to spread on trading desks and through the executive suites on Wall Street goes something like this: coming this fall, as President Obama makes his final push for a second term, his Justice Department will finally give the public what it wants in the form of an arrest of a major Wall Street figure for his role in the financial crisis. The men at the top of this “October Surprise” list are two of the more infamous figures in the banking business: former Lehman Brothers chief executive Dick Fuld and current Goldman Sachs chief executive Lloyd Blankfein. Using the Justice Department for political purposes is, of course, pretty sleazy.

Counterpoint: “…But after speaking to my law enforcement sources — and you can throw people who work at the Securities and Exchange Commission and the Justice Department in this category — I give low probability for this urban legend coming to fruition.

Regardless: Read more »

Both the defense and prosecution would like to use the meal to make their cases. Read more »

Hey remember Mark and Andy Madoff, the spawns of Bernie whose lives were shook to the core when their father and former boss admitted to not exactly playing by the “rules” when it came to investing? Many assumed they had to have been in on the crime, given that they were the number two and three employees at the firm (though our personal conclusion was that given the photographic evidence that M&A spent 90% of their time fishing and posing, and the the himbo-esque looks on their faces) and for a while there it seemed like they were probably going to go downtown themselves. On the contrary, however, they’ve managed to keep themselves out of prison. They are currently facing a $200 million lawsuit but that’ll be probably be thrown out given the flawless logic offered by their attorney for why the boys are innocent. Read more »

  • 08 Mar 2010 at 9:45 AM

Mark Madoff: Back In The Game!

The gang.

A few months ago there was a tear-jerker of a story about unemployed Americans having difficulty finding new jobs. It highlighted two in particular, who’d been out of work for over a year, due to the shuttering of their company. Their names were Mark and Andy Madoff and they were having a real tough go of it lately. Nobody wanted to hire them out of fear they’d stink up the place with the smell of fish. And, you know, the taint of their former employer. It was depressing as shit, and Mark had taken to crying during interviews. Recently, Andy, along with his girlfriend Catherine Hooper, started a ‘disaster recovery firm,’ the goal of which is to help people get their affairs in order in the event of a crisis, be it natural or the kind that comes at the hands of a small dick, like losing everything to a Ponzi scheme (just a for instance!). Then there was Mark, who had all but given up asking people to keep him in mind for jobs on a trading desk or in trading technology. By this point even the fish were gently suggesting he pack it in– but the little Madoff that could would not be defeated. And finally, his persistence has been rewarded! Read more »

Screen shot 2009-10-02 at 3.33.35 PM.pngIrving Picard promised Sunday that he would bankrupt Andy and Mark Madoff and he was not kidding! The spawn of Satan, along with their cousin Shana and uncle Peter, have been sued for $199 million. The good news is that they’re not being accused of actually taking part in the Ponzi scheme, but only for being possibly so fucking stupid that they had no idea it was going on right under their noses. I can’t speak for Peter and Shana but in M&A’s defense? They were never there! They literally spent 4 days of every work week on a boat fishing and posing for pictures. (They do strike me as himbos, however, so it’s possible they wouldn’t have caught this thing even if they did have more regular attendance at the office.)

The complaint does not accuse the family members of participating in the Ponzi scheme — indeed, lawyers for all four have repeatedly insisted that their clients had no inkling about the fraud until Mr. Madoff confessed to his sons in December, prompting them to turn him in to the federal authorities.
Rather, the trustee’s complaint describes the relatives as “completely derelict” in carrying out their professional duties at the federally regulated brokerage firm.

Read more »

hirstshark.jpgThis is a huge shipment so he’s going to need a couple of able bodied guys to come with and hijack the goods. For those of you trying to score some brownie points, meet in the parking lot in ten for further instructions and ski masks– van’s leaving promptly at 3.

The New York Aquarium is moving ahead with a $100 million plan to renovate its building in Coney Island and create two massive tanks for more than 30 sharks — about four times as many as now ply the aquarium’s waters.
Under the aquarium’s plan, the sharks, whose streamlined forms simultaneously scare and fascinate visitors, will have a lot more room to move. The aquarium’s single 90,000-gallon tank — where eight tiger, nurse and reef sharks now make their home — is to be replaced by two glass-walled tanks with a total capacity of 600,000 gallons.

Aquarium To Renovate With Giant Shark Tanks [NYT]