As you may have noticed, one of the ways you can tell someone has made it to the upper echelons of the hedge fund elite is that they don’t have to give a fuck about their sartorial choices. Whether it’s dressing like a hobo or Friday night at Studio 54, they can do what they want. Button down shirts can be swapped out for zip up fleeces, ripped jeans that smell like wet dog replace dress pants, roller-skates take the place of loafers, out go the suits in come the full-body stockings. They wanna dress like a (lovable) schlubb or someone who could get picked up for street walking, that’s their right, ’cause they could buy your life, a billion times over. Biff Basness wants a face tattoo? Biff Basness gets himself a face tattoo, and investors aren’t going to say nothing. In fact, it’s come to be a good litmus test. You see a guy walking down Greenwich Avenue in a champion sweatsuit? Or taking lunch at the Sizzler, wearing just lobster bib and light up cock ring? You’re probably looking at a top hedge fund manager. This notion has not been lost on the Brits.

Arki Busson, multi-millionaire hedge fund manager and on-off partner of Uma Thurman, is a man who can dress how he likes for work. For the most part, this means suits and open-neck shirts – nothing too attention-seeking. At least until your eye falls to his wrist. For there, next to his watch, Busson regularly wears … beads and bangles, charms and straps. Bracelets, in other words.

According to James Massey, these wristbands are a mark of the independence afforded to the hedge funder or the entrepreneur: “The ones that own their own company don’t care about traditional dressing,” he says.

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  • 26 Feb 2010 at 11:15 AM

The ‘Brotherhood’ Of The SAC

Picture 192.pngBloomberg Markets magazine has a long profile on SAC Capital today, and the grand poobah who runs the place, Stevie C. For those of you who’ve never had the pleasure of working for the king, here’s a bit of a primer.

* For the serious neophytes, who should be ashamed of themselves for not knowing the big man’s likes and dislikes: “He doesn’t like noise, so the phones on the floor don’t ring; they light up.” Make one move, one audible squeak that disturbs him, be it a hiccup or moan of ecstasy at the hand of a whiteboard marker and you’re out of there.

* Don’t forget your fleece (“Cohen maintains the temperature on the trading floor at 69 degrees Fahrenheit (21 degrees Celsius) to make sure no one dozes”) though in all seriousness, I’d slay a newborn if one of you would offer yourselves up as a test to see what exactly would happen were you caught sleeping on the floor during the course of a trading day. For extra points, make your snoring audible about 15 minutes from the close, and once he approaches your desk, open your eyes like he just woke you up and go “I’m tired baby what are you doing?” then roll over and close your eyes again. Oh, someone please do this. Berkowitz, I know you don’t sit on the floor, but please, take one for the team.

* If you don’t know your shit, you are gonna get called out. Simple as that: “If a portfolio manager or analyst can’t answer a question about a stock, Cohen is likely to lash out. ‘Do you even know how to do this f—ing job?’ is a standard barb, current and former employees say.” I see nothing wrong with this.***

* And guess what, fucksticks? You’re not the only ones who will get the horns if you mess with this bull. Remember this? What the short clip didn’t include was what happened later in the show: “Cohen…spars with a man in a muscle shirt in the audience after admitting he slept with his ex-wife while courting Alexandra.”

* Okay, but enough about how you’re going to get your ass stomped inside out for being an idiot or audibly breathing, which you’ll have probably deserved. Working at SAC can be really fun too. Like a Saturday night at the Laugh Factory: “The boss has a sense of humor that’s dry, along the lines of Jerry Seinfeld, former employees say. In September 2008, before Lehman’s bankruptcy, Cohen sent a companywide e-mail: It’s all up to the government now. I have no idea what will happen. Good luck to you all. This is a recording.” (Also: the “Steve-isms.” Oh that you should one day have the “Steve-isms” in your life.)

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As previously mentioned, back in December there was a “situation” at Reuters wherein the newswire chose not to run Matthew Goldstein’s story on Patricia Cohen suing her ex-husband, Steve Cohen, and alleging things like Stevie insider trading. It was unclear why the article was held, and it still is, even after editor-in-chief David Schlesinger held a conference call with staffers to discuss the issue. Schlesinger said it was “not a bad story” and “could have run” but still failed to say why it, you know, didn’t. If SAC did in fact complain about the story, well, that’s probably to expected. Most people or organizations would at least try. What we want is the unanswered question as to why Reuters kowtowed to the request. Was it that:

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drudge-siren.gifPatricia Cohen, the former wife of Steven Cohen, has filed a RICO suit against Steve, his brother Donald, and SAC Capital (et al*) in Southern District court of New York. Patricia is alleging that Steve conspired with others to conceal “significant” marital assets of which she was due after their ten year marriage. She claims to have become suspicious of Steve after hearing about the Biovail case (on a 60 Minutes special), at which time she began her own investigation. She is seeking $300 million.

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