Fox Business

  • 15 Feb 2013 at 2:02 PM

CNBC Is Nobody’s Sloppy Seconds!

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*DJ CNBC Tells Wall Street Execs To Go Back To Their Ready Made Whores At FBN, Bloomberg TV

*DJ CNBC ‘If You Go On Bloomberg We’ll Fucking Cut You’

*DJ CNBC ‘Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did’

*DJ CNBC ‘Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You’re Nothing But A Whore’

*DJ CNBC Suggests It Won’t Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network

*DJ No, CNBC Doesn’t Think It’s Overreacting

*DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy Read more »

  • 01 Nov 2011 at 2:04 PM

Fox Business Anchor Credits On-Air Debit Card Shredding With BofA Reversal On Fees

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Earlier: Read more »

Fox Business Anchor: “I’m Going To Show Bank Of America Just What I Think Of Their Fees”

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“Bring me my purse, Chris.” Read more »

  • 15 Feb 2011 at 4:19 PM

FYI: Citi Will Need No More Bailouts

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The body language experts at Fox Business could tell Vikram Pandit was telling the truth when he said it because he didn’t run away. He stood there. Cool. Calm. And owned it. Read more »

  • 15 Oct 2010 at 4:28 PM

Dennis Kneale Joining Charlie Gasparino At Fox Business

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As a tribute to Dennis, let’s all share our favorite moments over the last few years. I’ll start. Read more »

  • 11 Oct 2010 at 6:00 PM

Fox Business Personality Attempts To Laugh Off The Fact That He’ll Never Be Invited Back To A Nouriel Roubini Party

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As he dies on the inside and considers begging. Please– PLEASE!– you can’t take the plaster vulvas away from him. Read more »

  • 25 Jun 2010 at 5:17 PM

Charlie Gasparino Puts In His Two Cents

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A couple days back one of Charlie’s former colleagues and I had a conversations re: if absolutely forced to pick between two former and current CNBC colleagues with which to liaise, who she’d go with. She went with option C, which was that she’d have to kill herself or go on life-support. I suggested the situation might still be appealing to Charlie Gasparino. Today he responded to that discussion on-air asking “She’s gotta be comatose?” and adding “She’s gonna be comatose” before his mic was cut. I’m not even sure what any of this means (was he saying he’s going to put her in a state of comatosis via his schlong?) but regardless I’m nervous. Read more »

  • 18 Jun 2010 at 4:48 PM

Charlie Gasparino Reminisces About Intimidating Joe Kernen In The Locker Room, With His Schlong

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If you haven’t been keeping up with your financial talking head drama, you (like me) might’ve missed the fact that yesterday on CNBC, Joe Kernen referred to Fox Business as a bunch of “wing-nuts.” Fox did not like this! And you know who at Fox really didn’t like it? Charles Gasparino. How dare Kernen refer to Chaz’s new employer as such. “Fuck that guy Joe,” Gaspo said to the girl doing his make-up as he worked himself into a frenzy over the offense. “Who does he is, thinking he can condesend to my people,” Gaspo asked her before shouting “I said easy on the blusher, easy!”  There was only one way to let Kernen know CG would not be taking this offense sitting down– by taking to the airwaves and telling everyone about how he used to inspire prison rape fantasies in JK. (FYI, this is not the first time Chaz has mentioned himself/Kernen and soap dropping on live TV. To wit, two years ago CG commented breathlessly: “Joe is a little intimidated by me. Every time Joe sees me in the CNBC locker room, half naked with a towel around my waist and my tattoo showing he gets a flash back from a prison movie. Joe’s workout is 2.7 miles every other day on the treadmill.”) Read more »

  • 21 May 2010 at 2:35 PM

Somebody Adopt Cody Willard!

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Your devastating news of the day/week/month (fuck it, year): Fox Business has canceled Happy Hour. At this time it’s reportedly “unclear” as to how the three hosts will be affected but it’s obvious CW’s gonna need a home. Who among you are wiling to take him in? Here’s a quick list of what he brings to the table:

1) As the founder of a hedge fund that at one time had as much as $5,000 in assets under management, is considered one of the greatest minds on Wall Street.

2) Is a voracious Twitter’er and could possibly manage your account

3) IS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WITH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, who would probably stop by your office at least once if his little buddy was given a desk there. Read more »

  • 04 May 2010 at 2:55 PM

Charlie Gasparino Is Not Faking It On TV

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The raw emotion, the cursing, the threats to rip the face off, just a for instance, Dylan Ratigan. None of it’s an act. Ask anyone and they’ll tell you. Ask Jimmy, ask Snakes, ask Greg Valentino. Call up the people he used to work with at the Journal and they’ll confirm they still have nightmares about him coming back to the office after a lunchtime workout, arms hanging out of his Champion sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off like two lethal weapons. They’ll tell you.

  • 30 Mar 2010 at 4:35 PM

What’s In Charlie Gasparino’s Fanny Pack?

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This from someone who goes to the News Corp. gym on the third floor of 1211 6th Ave. Gaspo, in addition to grunting and constantly checking his Blackberry in the office gym, also wears a curiously-feminine fanny pack when working out. Not sure what’s in the fanny pack. Maybe a bottle of Cool Water cologne??

Read more »