Finally! Another episode of “Backseat Broker,” the logical companion piece to “Happy Hour,” in which a buzzed Cody Willard rides around town trying to find people who’ll get in the back of a cab with him and “talk about finance.” Something that’s new from the last time is that it appears Cody’s decided not to shave. Today’s hostage is an investment banker who works in real estate financing. Not too long ago, he was chained to his desk from 8 a.m. ‘til 2 a.m. Now, he’s got time to talk shop with C-bone in the middle of the day.
Earlier: There Are Only 6,300 People Watching This, No Need To Run A Comb Through Cody’s Hair Or Splash Cold Water On His Face
Fox Business
[Hilarious ad in today's NYT and WSJ, via MediaBistro]
In the clip above, Fox Business Contributor Father Morris and FBN anchor Alexis Glick shoot the shit about the Vatican’s seven new mortal sins, “some of which relate to business.” Obviously “accumulating excessive wealth” (and the many CEOs who’ve recently done so) was going to be the hot topic but we were extremely disappointed that SpitzorSwallows didn’t at least get some air time. You’d think the Father would’ve wanted to bring the sinner du jour up if only to make the Church look good (note the distinction, people, between non-sins committed by Catholics (touching small boys) and sin-sins committed by Jews (fucking of-age hookers)). And it’s not like FBN, whose main goal in life is to find the business angle in Penthouse spreads, would have a problem going there. We’re going to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and assume that off-camera, a lively discussion took place vis-à-vis which offenses Big E could get nailed on. At the very least: violation of fundamental rights of human nature; morally debatable human experiments; and my personal favorite, environmental pollution (assuming the “not safe” activity was no condom, he spread that demon seed).
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Now for something unrelated (though in my mind everything connects). The Guardian ran an item today that wondered aloud, “Can Rupert Murdoch’s nascent Fox Business network get any less classy?” and proceeded to mention two previous DealBreaker posts (“Art Cock, Sans Smock” and “Hot Sluts Are The One Thing Fox Business Can Do Right And They Can’t Even Do That“) in what appeared to be the G‘s effort to say “no.” While we appreciate the link love, we have to say that A. We don’t think FBN is class-less (apologies if we’ve given that impression) and B. Trying to prove that FBN is a whorehouse is like trying to nail down that J. Cayne smokes dope– wasn’t it obvious anyway? Plus, thing of it is and this relates back to point A., I think Fox’s problem is that it’s trying to be TOO classy. No need to gussy up a whorehouse. First off (and I don’t really have time for this but I’ll shoot off a few quick ideas and then it’s up to whoever’s running that place to implement), we can’t help but thinking the station needs a new name. No more “FBN.” From here on out, it’s Randy Rupert’s Chicken Ranch. There should be an orgy going on in the background of “Happy Hour” at all times, like in Caligula, and next week, Cody needs to have sex with a horse. I would also strongly encourage a Cavuto segment called “Business Bukkake.” And wouldn’t a recurring feature with “Business For Breakfast” guests called “Who Would You Do” (they pick among Wall Street leaders, dead or alive) just make sense?
Survey [DealBreaker]
A Dirty Business [The Guardian, last item]
There Are Only 6,300 People Watching This, No Need To Run A Comb Through Cody’s Hair Or Splash Cold Water On His Face
By John Carney
In this new ‘Happy Hour’ bit called ‘Backseat Broker,’ Cody Willard, completely disheveled and visibly drunk, rides around town trying to find someone who’ll get in a cab with him and “talk about finance.” Victim number one is Jennifer V. (sounds like ‘Volmer’ but she’s scared of the guy sitting next to her and muddles her words so I can’t be sure). She works in credit derivatives. Cody asks her if there’s anything that can be done to improve the market; better question: is there anything that can be done to improve this segment? No. It is perfection. But, if pressed to come up with something, we can’t help thinking it would be interesting not to have Cody convincing people to get in his cab, but running alongside traffic, seeing who’ll let him into theirs (keep the unkempt look, it’s humanizing). If they want to talk shop, that’s just an added bonus.
Disoriented Jimmy Cayne Emerges From Smoke Filled Bathroom, Lets FBN Anchor Know Citic Deal Is Still On
By John Carney
Fellow anchors express shock that JC would deign to speak to her, chest bump anyway, commence ‘Happy Hour’ pre-game.
- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
