This one doesn’t have to do with Herbalife, per se, but the sort of proclamations we’ve come to know and love from Bill re: Herbalife in general. Like that it’s going to (paraphrasing): be raided by the feds on an exact day, that his next presentation on the company will reveal where all the dead bodies are, literally, like he’s going to present the audience with some actual corpses, etc. Those sort of things, you can kiss good-bye. Ackman is sick of the heat he gets for them so no more. You blew it and this is why we can’t have nice things. Never again will he engage in big, splashy, public campaigns. Finished. Finito. 100% done. Well, okay, 98%. We’ve got to leave the door just the slightest bit ajar. Read more »
god love this guy
Not All Goldman Sachs Summer Intern Applicants Worthy Of Face-To-Grundle Time With Gary Cohn, Says Gary CohnBy Bess Levin
Out of 17,000 applicants, just 350 college students made the cut and will begin their investment banking summer internships next week at Goldman Sachs offices around the world. That is roughly the same yield as prior years, a 2% acceptance rate. It’s easier to get into Harvard or Stanford…Applicants also had to submit a resume and a 300-word cover letter describing the qualities they would bring to Goldman and their motivations for applying. And of course they had to survive a round of interviews. “We have no problem attracting people,” Gary Cohn, Goldman’s president, said at a conference on Thursday about the applicants to the program. “I won’t say they’re all highly qualified, but the vast majority were highly qualified kids that wanted to come to work at Goldman Sachs for the summer and do the internship program.” [WSJ, related, related]
December 7, 1941. November 22, 1963. December 4, 2009. All dates of such historical and cultural significance that if you asked someone where they were that day, they’d surely be able to tell you. Because they weren’t just any old days; they were moments when everything changed. The bombing of Pearl Harbor; the assassination of JFK; and, perhaps most importantly, the firing of Jeffrey Gundlach from the TWC Group, which had taken issue with his decision to start his own firm, and choose to express that anger by first escorting him out of the building and second raiding his offices, where they found an amount of adult films and sexual devices that suggested Gundlach was operating an online wholesale sex shop distributor and keeping the inventory at work. TCW also sued its former employee and at the time, rather than roll over and take it which is something he would never do, Gundlach vowed to fight back and clear up the misconception that TCW was the victim in the situation. On the contrary, JG told people, the real victim was US taxpayers who were “promised” Gundlach’s services and had to settled for a subpar bond manager when his relationship with the firm was terminated. Gundlach ultimately emerged victorious* and perhaps even more satisfying to The Pope was the number of TCW employees and clients who followed him en masse to his new company, the aptly named DoubleLine Capital. We’re not sure how you celebrated last night’s hugely significant anniversary, but we do know how Gundlach did: Read more »
LightSquared is a wireless venture that seeks to create “convenient connectivity for all.” But those of you who’ve been keeping up know that to one man, it’s so much more. That man being, of course, hedge fund manager Phil Falcone. LightSquared is his dream. His baby. His world. His everything. And, because he has poured his heart, soul, and firm’s money into LightSquared, it is also the thing that stands to make or break Harbinger Capital. Success will mean billions for Falcone and his investors. Failure will mean Wilbur Falcone selling her eggs to a barren couple willing to pay top dollar for the DNA of a blue-eyed classically trained singer with an IQ of 150 and legs like Tina Turner.
Unfortunately, things have not been going so well for LightSquared. The yachting community worries that GPS interference caused by LS will result in boats getting lost at sea. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration says LightSquared“may degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers and help build flood defenses.” The FAA put out a study that estimates LS could “cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation.” The only person defending the thing (besides Phil) is Karl Rove. Meanwhile, the SEC wants to see Falcone banned from the industry, Bloomberg News has put a reporter on the “Phil Falcone Pit Stains” beat, and his investors, for the most part, despise him for petty reasons that no rational adults would ever get upset about, like borrowing $113 million from a gated fund in order to pay personal taxes and tying up much of their capital in a side project building walkie-talkies that might not pan out on account of the growing opinion that it might kill a few people.
At this time, a lesser man might decide to cut his losses and/or look within and say “Maybe my investors aren’t the problem, maybe I’m the problem.” Phil Falcone is no such man. He’s figured out a few things and what they boil down to is that his impatient, pissy investors are what is standing in the way of LightSquared soaring, which it will, when it is ready. And if those pricks won’t agree to stick around for an investment time horizon of inifinty, he’ll find people who will. Read more »