…the question is, why didn’t your firm have the foresight to gather everyone round to shoot a live-action holiday card that includes: the aforementioned talking camel, a middle-aged white guy pulling a Miley Cyrus, young men dressed as unicorns, a guy attempting to twerk, an elf humping air, a guy wheelbarrowing a zebra, and more twerking? Next year, do better. (We’re looking at you, Blackstone, KKR, Goldman Sachs, Citadel, Icahn Enterprises,1 and SAC.2) Read more »
The Question Isn’t “Why Does First Round Capital’s Holiday Video Feature A Talking Camel And Its Founder Riding A Wrecking Ball (In a Fat Suit)?”By Bess Levin
Attention London-Based Financial Services Employees: The Season For F*cking Up With No Repercussions Is Nearly Upon UsBy Bess Levin
Been thinking about TP’ing your CEO’s house? Or placing a massive trade that, let’s be honest, probably won’t work out and will ultimately cost the firm billions? Or taking the keys to your boss’s vintage Ferrari and driving some colleagues uptown for a joy ride, and when confronted about, claim you thought the office had a “what’s mine is yours” policy? Or dressing up as his wife for Halloween? Thanks to a new compensation plan being considered by London bank, now you can? Read more »
“In an effort to boost morale, Mr. Cohen arranged in July for a local “Super Duper Weenie” hot-dog truck to swing by SAC’s office and dispense free food. — WSJ, September 24, 2013
July 23, 2013
The place: SAC Capital Headquarters. The time: middle of the trading day. The mood: Not great.
An IM chime rings in Steve Cohen’s ear. He turns to the far left of his seven screens, minimizes one or two computer programs, and sees that it’s from SAC president Tom Conheeney.
“U got 1 sec?” Conheeney asks.
“Is it impt?” the Big Guy responds.
Across the office, Conheeney looks up and catches Cohen’s eye. He starts to type a response, stops, and holds down the Backpace button. Types again, Backspace again. Type, Backspace. Type, Backspace. It’s a delicate matter. The SAC president eventually settles on a simple, “Yeah. It kinda is.”
“Fine,” Cohen replies. “My office, 30 seconds.” Read more »
Actual question to ask yourself now, so you’ll have an answer ready should the offer make its way to the table: “If your company offered you a pay raise to tattoo its logo on your body, would you do it?” [CBS via Gawker]
In the face of “constant hostility”—including lawsuits and a general lack of interest in promoting the industry—banks ought to leave New York and head for friendlier terrain, analyst Dick Bove said. In a note released a day after New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman announced a lawsuit against JPMorgan Chase, Bove said it’s time for banks to head to states where they won’t face such an unwelcoming environment…Bove does not address the merits of New York’s case against JPMorgan, the largest bank by desposits in the U.S. But he said the general tenor towards banks in the state make it no longer feasible to operate there. “I am constantly struck by the fact that Michigan does not sue the auto industry; Texas is not suing the oil industry; California is not suing the entertainment industry; and Florida is not suing the tourism industry,” Bove wrote. “They do not sue farmers in Iowa. New York never stops suing the financial industry. Why? What do these other states understand that New York does not?” [CNBC]
Harbinger Capital-Backed LightSquared: What If We Told You We Could Build A Wireless Network That Doesn’t Kill People Via GPS Interference? Does That Sound Like Something You’d Be Interested In?By Bess Levin
As many of you know, the last year or so has been a pretty tough one for Phil Falcone. In addition to a civil suit against him by Harbinger Capital investors, DWAI’s on the home front, and the pesky matter of being charged with securities fraud by the SEC, which would like to see him banned from the industry, what’s really been plaguing him has been the opposition encountered by LightSquared, his dream and the thing he’s more or less staked all his and his investors’ money on. Before it entered Chapter 11 bankruptcy in May, the most serious charge against the company was that while it may seek to create “convenient connectivity for all,” in doing so, the odds are high it would cause GPS interference that would result in boats getting lost at sea; “degrade precision services that track hurricanes, guide farmers, and help build flood defenses“; and, according to the FAA, “cost 794 lives in aviation accidents over 10 years with disruptions to satellite-aided navigation.” Now, four months later, the would-be wireless network has come back with a plan: LightSquared, but without all the murderous bits (for now). Read more »