Harvey Pitt has been named deputy attorney general of Alabama where he will be investigating “short sellers and false rumors involving Colonial BancGroup, actions designed to drive down the institution’s stock price.” CNB apparently approached Pitt about the gig knowing that rumor mongering and wicked short selling are favorite topics of the erstwhile SEC chairman and current private citizen, which he believes are “serious problems…[that have] led to a whole host of additional problems in the marketplace.” Pitt also hilariously noted that he has been contacted by other firms known by those in the know to be short-seller targets, but has thus far been rebuffed because they’re self-conscious about having their asses tapped (sayeth Pitt: “They don’t want it known that they are the targets of short sellers”).
The P-man’s compensation for the job has been disclosed but even if he’s being paid in Lehman stock the whole thing sure to pay off in spades. The plan is prettay prettay genius–make up some stuff up based on speculation and hearsay about malicious shorts being responsible for CNB’s horrific performance (the bank’s stock lost 53 percent of its value this year), and then take the case study to Cox as evidence that the SEC really needs to extend now-defunct emergency rule to all financial companies which would mean KA-CHING for Pitt’s newly formed RegSHO.com. RS is a web-based real-time electronic stock lending and location service that matches traders with available stocks that can be borrowed for short sales and offers immediate data on the short-sell market. Obviously the biz would be made exponentially more profitable if the SEC expands and extends the rule, practically forcing Pitt and Co to charge customers for both locating and pre-borrowing.
One error in Pitt’s flawless money-making scheme, however, is the matter of his partner, John Tobacco. Anecdotal evidence shows that he’s a bit of a Tim Sykes (please refer to the last comment on this thread).
Call Him Deputy Attorney General Pitt [NYT]
CEOs Launch Web Site To Protect Short Sellers: Firm Aids Compliance With SEC Naked-Sale Rules [Washington Post]
great ideas
We talk a lot of trash about (to? at?) Merrill Lynch here, most of it warranted. That’s not going to change any time soon (barring Thain agreeing to the terms of the bribe* I recently laid before him, in which case we’ll be pumping that stock like gangbusters). BUT! In an effort to show you that we are capable of more than simply throwing stones, we’ve come up with what appears to an untapped revenue stream that, if put to work, will put the bank back on the road to profitability. The plan is slightly self-serving, but that’s of little consequence and besides–all the great ones are. To the Merrill executives reading (and we know you are), if the aforementioned money-making scenario sounds like something you’d be interested in, pay close attention. Short-sellers who stand to gain if Merrill falls (categorically impossible if they do exactly as I say), I’m willing to talk, provided we can come to some sort of agreement such as the one Thain’s yet to submit t0. Everyone else–if you like what you see here, get in touch and, for a price, I’ll whip something up for you, too. First, let’s deal with MER.
One half of the brain trust here at DealBreaker was stuck in traffic this weekend that resulted in six and a half hours of travel time from Cape Cod to New York. This prison sentence was made exponentially more torturous by two things. The first: an obscene number of mosquito bites on the backs of our legs, the itchiness of which could not be dampened in the slightest by digging our nails into our skin like a common meth addict. The second: having to stare at this for at least half the drive:
*Not interested in some outlandish lump sum but merely an understanding that whenever I want/need to I can stop by the office and hit him up for the cash contents of his wallet.
[click to view]
WWE Raw’s John Layfield injects a little credibility in Oppenheimer analyst Meredith Whitney’s career. Tomorrow: Citi analyst Ron Blarney and his wife, star of VH1′s new reality TV show, “Lakes and Valleys.”
Theory: This Was Actually Intended Soley For Jimmy Cayne But They Had To Send It To Everyone So As Not To Embarass Him
By Bess LevinThe (very) internal Bear memo we just received is from December and yet, we feel the message bears repeating (at regular intervals, which perhaps is the case for the original recipients, who need to be reminded about this stuff). For the employees who’ve seen this before–whether you’re unsure about plans for the future or are getting ready to head over to JPMorgan–please note that the guidelines found within should probably be heeded even after you leave BSC. For Jamie Dimon– who clearly had no idea what he was getting himself into– it’s not too late! You can still back out of this thing. Or, at the very least, start making some calls to ensure that the Bear employees you’ve fired your own to make room for are housed in a quarantined area…like Citigroup.
Obviously all the homeowners who read DealBreaker bought their pads in cash, but for the one or two of you with mortgages, listen up: make those payments. And we don’t say this because we care about you losing your house or because we’re worried about more securitized mortgage products defaulting, but because if you don’t the government’s going to come poking around and when they do they’re going to find the grow house you set up and you will go to prison. Period. End of sentence. (On the plus side, you’ll no longer have to go into the office every day with the gripping fear you’re about to get laid off, but you’ll also be robbing yourself of the chance to be one of the lucky recipients of a visit from The Cheeseteak Fairy, who does not make house calls.)
Foreclosed Home Becomes Marijuana Farm [USNews]
…the higher a trader’s morning testosterone level, the more money he’ll likely have netted before the close of business that day. Testosterone, in other words, can be good for business.
Anyone in Connecticut care to weigh in?
Related: People Moves: Blanche DuBois Out At SAC
High Testosterone Means High Profits [Time]
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