Greenwich

  • sandyweillgreenwich

    News

    Sleep Where Sandy Weill’s Son Hath Slept

    The former Citigroup chairman bought the property next to his house in Greenwich hoping it’d become “a family compound,” and while his son Marc built a house on it and lived there for four years, in 2008 he sold it back to dad and split for NYC. So! What do you get for $14 million […]

    / Mar 14, 2014 at 1:51 PM
  • greenwichlacrossehouse

    News

    Greenwich Residents Doing Their Part To Make Steve Cohen’s Backyard Ice Rink Look Totally Reasonable

    With an indoor lacrosse field that could be yours.

    / Oct 11, 2013 at 1:54 PM
  • steve-cohen-house-260x160

    News

    People With A Mere $3 Million To Spend On Real Estate Can Live In Greenwich Now

    Time was, you needed a bag filled with at least $10 million in unmarked twenties to buy a house in Greenwich, CT, where many a multi-billionaire hedge fund manager reside, and it’s a legitimate insult to have a newspaper claim your home is a measly 14,000 square feet. Now? Thanks to the global financial crisis, […]

    / Sep 30, 2013 at 3:15 PM
  • fedora

    News

    Greenwich Bank Robber May Or May Not Have Had The Audacity To Return To The Scene Of The Crime

    Back in August, a man wearing a “fedora-style hat and sunglasses” walked into the People’s United bank at 410 Greenwich Avenue, suggested he had a weapon, and “fled with an undisclosed amount of cash.” The event was probably extremely traumatic for the employees and customers present, and not a fun thing for the bank to […]

    / Sep 6, 2013 at 4:06 PM
  • greenwichankrobbery

    News

    Can We Move This Manhunt Along? Metro North Riders Have DVRs Full Of Top Chef Episodes That Aren’t Going To Watch Themselves

    At 4:57 p.m., a man [wearing a fedora-style hat and sunglasses] seen by witnesses loitering outside the People’s United Bank at 410 Greenwich Ave. walked into the branch, approached a teller and implied he had a weapon, but did not show it, police said. He then fled with an undisclosed amount of cash. Service on […]

    / Aug 29, 2013 at 2:34 PM
  • rhiannonnoellstefanick

    News

    Attention Connecticut Residents: Watch Out For Tire Irons To The Face

    Among the many reasons typically cited by hedge fund managers who choose to run their business out of Connecticut instead of New York are: 1. The room to stretch their shit out 2. Proximity to the Long Island Sound 3. Convenience for those already living in the area. Some probably also believe that the Fairfield County is slightly safer than New York City. That you’re not going to get jumped walking out of the office or beaten with a tire iron because you messed with someone’s man or woman. OR WILL YOU?

    / Jan 31, 2013 at 2:48 PM
  • News

    Greenwich, Connecticut Nobody Threatening To Dethrone Area Hedge Fund Manager As Biggest Middle-Aged Superhero Fan In Town

    Exhibit A:

    Friday morning at AQR, August 10. Cliff Asness glanced pensively at a candy-colored array of Marvel superhero figurines lined up along his east-facing window. Spiderman. Captain America. The Hulk. Iron Man. Comic book heroes of his boyhood days on Long Island.The Quants, by Scott Patterson, page 100.

    On an August morning, Asness walks to his sun-dappled office windowsill and picks up a Captain America action figure. The hedge-fund mogul owns a panoply of action heroes, from the Hulk to the Silver Surfer, and the comic books that spawned them.Bloomberg Markets Magazine, October 7, 2010

    “Hedge funds charge far too much in general by claiming to be geniuses,” says Asness, lounging on a sofa in his corner office, surrounded by foot-high plastic models of comic book heroes.Fortune, December 19, 2011

    As a child, Clifford Scott Asness gave no sign of his future as a Wall Street tycoon. He was born in October 1966 in Queens, New York. When he was four, his family moved to the leafy suburban environs of Roslyn Heights on Long Island. In school Asness received good grades, but his interest in Wall Street didn’t extend beyond the dark towers of Gotham in the pages of Batman. Obsessed with little besides girls and comic books, Asness was a listless teenager, without direction and somewhat overweight. At times he showed signs of a violent temper that would erupt years later when he sat at the helm of his own hedge fund.The Quants, by Scott Patterson, page 12.

    “His super-villains are intellectual dishonesty and ignorance,” says Jonathan Beinner, a managing director at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and a former classmate of Asness. “When someone offers an opinion that Cliff feels is incorrect or dishonest, whether it be related to investments, politics or pizza, he feels it is his duty to stand up, even if it’s not in his best interest.” Asness admits to a superhero complex. His favorite Marvel comic book character is Captain America, who gains strength with the help of a secret serum and whose shield can be used as an indestructible weapon. Asness has an image of the shield tattooed on his left arm.Bloomberg Markets Magazine, October 7, 2010

    Exhibit B:

    The above is a rendering of a Batcave that will soon be built in the home of an unnamed Greenwich resident. When it is completed in Novemeber, the spread will include “a Batcomputer, Batmobile, Batsuits, 180 degree film screen, sound effects, gargoyles and even a Bat-themed elevator.” The problem? This guy is not only infringing on Asness’s territory as resident super hero obsessive/aficionado/scholar-in-residence/neighbor who dresses up and role-plays his character of choice but is apparently too cowardly to show his face or reveal his name so that Cliff might confront him. The other problem? Captain America doesn’t have some kind of cool underground lair setup of his own. The only recourse? Someone spends the next couple weeks writing a series of fan fiction that describes his house, and then spends $20 million to have that built.

    Greenwich Resident Building $2 Million Batcave In Home [CTNews]
    Dark Knight superfan spends $2MILLION creating home cinema replica of Bruce Wayne’s cave [DM]

    / Aug 16, 2012 at 4:28 PM
  • I will sell this house today

    Sleep Where Vikram Pandit Hath Slept

    Bloomberg reports that Uncle Vik has put his 6-bedroom, 6-bath Greenwich, CT weekend house on the market and while experts are skeptical he’ll get the $4.3 million asking price, perhaps someone will consider throwing him a bone. Citi shareholders have screwed him yet again and he could use the cash. No zen garden to speak […]

    / Apr 18, 2012 at 2:47 PM
  • News

    When Sonia Jones Says Flow Into Sun Salutation, Paul Tudor Jones Says How High

    These days, Sonia Jones, at 44, is a walking advertisement for the physical benefits of Ashtanga. She’s slim, but in a toned way rather than an annoyingly skinny one. Blonde and tan, she is warm and ebullient, more earthy Australian than uptight Greenwich grande dame. Every morning, she does her practice in a sunny studio—decorated […]

    / Mar 5, 2012 at 1:27 PM
  • News

    Area Greenwich Man Will Bet You $252 Million / His Life Local Powerball “Winners” Are Fronting

    Last week in Connecticut, a theory was put forth: that the three asset managers who’d come forward with the winning Powerball ticket were doing so as a favor for a client who was too embarrassed to do so himself. To the naked eye, this seemed to check out. First off, it took Brandon Lacoff, Tim […]

    / Dec 6, 2011 at 2:48 PM
  • News

    A Serious Question

    Why does Southern Connecticut get everything? Why does it get to lay claim to all that is great in this world? A short-list includes Steve Cohen’s Cummings Point Pleasure Dome, a guy who’ll park his car on your roof, a group of asset managers who will be more than happy to do whatever you ask, […]

    / Dec 2, 2011 at 4:19 PM
  • News

    Connecticut Powerball “Winners” Go The Extra Mile

    Yesterday afternoon, three Greenwich men came forward with a winning Powerball ticket worth $254 million. Lottery officials had been searching for nearly a month to find them, posting billboards all over Connecticut “urging” the ticket holder to reveal him or herself and claim the prize. But when Gregg Skidmore, Tim Davidson, and Brandon Lacoff finally […]

    / Nov 29, 2011 at 12:30 PM
  • News

    Area Greenwich Man: Shoulda Been Me

    All Frank Farricker is saying is that if he’d bought the winning Powerball ticket? He would’ve acted like it meant something to him, unlike Mr. It’d Kill Me To Crack A Smile over here.

    / Nov 28, 2011 at 7:29 PM
  • News

    Powerball Officials Finally Smoke Assset Manager Winners Out Of Their Hole

    Connecticut residents Gregg, Brandon, and Tim were initially bashful about coming forward.

    / Nov 28, 2011 at 3:58 PM
  • News

    Connecticut Teens Prep For Life On The Trading Floor

    Two Greenwich sisters were issued summons for third-degree disorderly conduct after police were called to a town residence on a report of a domestic dispute. The sisters, ages 14 and 16, were involved in an argument over computer usage. Police said one of the girls interrupted the other’s computer usage, causing her to shove her […]

    / Sep 30, 2011 at 2:52 PM
  • News

    Confidential To Would-Be Connecticut-Based Candy Thieves: Authorities Are Onto You

    You’re a hedge fund manager working and living in CT, catching a 7:30 showing of Harry Potter this evening in Stamford. The tickets have been purchased, the seats selected, and the previews about to begin. You tell your wife you need to take a leak and will be back in 5. You clumsily make your […]

    / Jul 15, 2011 at 5:25 PM
  • News

    Greenwich Residents Have More Than A Mountain Lion To Worry About

    A couple weeks back, an 8-foot long, 160-pound mountain lion started hanging around Greenwich, Connecticut and its nearby towns. News stations noted that a cat that size hasn’t been seen in those parts in 100 years; residents and people who work in the area were more than a little freaked the fuck out. Now testing […]

    / Jun 24, 2011 at 11:29 AM
  • News

    Deferred Bonuses On Wall Street Really Screwing Greenwich, CT Housing Market

    Time was, you put a house on the market in Greenwich, Connecticut and you got your $35 million asking price in a matter of days- and it didn’t even have to come with 26-toilets, a property that would cause a serious bidding war. Greenwich could count on Wall Street to make it rain ka-ching! on […]

    / May 24, 2011 at 12:38 PM
  • News

    Cops Bust Greenwich-Based Hookers, Clients

    If you’ve got a regular thing going with a hooker in Greenwich, please note she may be lying low for a while. Perhaps somewhat more urgently, if you have a scheduled meeting for this week, you ought to consider backing out now as that hooker is a cop and you’re about to get nailed.

    / May 4, 2011 at 4:08 PM
  • News

    Greenwich Selectman Asks Paul Tudor Jones To Bail Out Christmas

    Each year at Christmas, Paul Tudor Jones orchestrates a holiday spectacular on his front lawn, spreading cheer far and wide. People travel from all over to see the display (set to music) and the tradition, which last two full weeks, is much cherished among the residents of Greenwich. As discussed last week, Jones-A-Palooza 2010 is […]

    / Dec 7, 2010 at 10:30 AM
  • News

    What Could Paul Tudor Jones Possibly Have Planned For His Christmas Spectacular This Year?

    As many of you may be aware, some of us intimately, each year Paul Tudor Jones holds a Christmas spectacular on his front lawn in Greenwich, Connecticut. Open to the public, it’s become a favorite event for children and adults of all ages, far and wide. After being forced to cancel his Halloween extravaganza this […]

    / Dec 2, 2010 at 12:11 PM
  • News

    In Other News…

    A 24-year-old Greenwich man posed as a hedge fund manager and took more than $33,000 from an unemployed Stamford man who was promised $7,000 a month in returns on his investment, police said. Mark Traisman, 24, of 1 Indian Chase Road, Greenwich, was arrested Monday morning at the Stamford Police Department and charged with first-degree […]

    / Nov 22, 2010 at 5:16 PM
  • News

    Passionless, Cigarette-Smoking RBS Employees Inspire Summer Intern To Flee Wall Street For Waffles

    As we have previously discussed, when one grows up in Greenwich, CT, there are certain expectations. Prep school, college, Wall Street, death. And in the beginning, Garrett Hoelscher did what he was told. He attended the Brunswick school, then Emory and did a summer internship at RBS. But he was just going through the motions. […]

    / Oct 27, 2010 at 2:27 PM
  • News

    Greenwich Youth Abandons Wall Street For Siren Song Of Teddy Bear Manufacturing

    Growing up in Greenwich, with a father who works in finance, there were expectations placed on Matt McCarty. You know the ones. Prep school, followed by an Ivy or Ivy-esque college, a job on Wall Street, all that stuff. And in the beginning, those expectations were met. Matty attended the Brunswick school, then Vanderbilt, and […]

    / Oct 12, 2010 at 2:30 PM
  • News

    Hedge Fund Manager’s Son Is The Guy Connecticut Residents Will Want To Talk To When Convention Of Worst People On Earth Invade Next Weekend

    As he is the son of an extremely principled man, it’s no surprise to hear that Matt Dalio spends a good portion of his time helping others. The main avenue through which Dalio shows he cares is the China Care Foundation, which Matthew found and which provides “medical care and nurturing to Chinese orphans.” This […]

    / Jun 22, 2010 at 5:02 PM
  • News

    Serious Question Of The Day

    “Is Greenwich ready for bestiality?”

    / Jun 16, 2010 at 4:11 PM
  • News

    A Private Bank for Aging BSDs

    Forget about stashing your cash with Bank of America, JPMorgan or Citigroup. The real grandfathers of finance take their dough to Fieldpoint Private Bank & Trust. The Greenwich institution was founded by some ex-Merrill Lynch execs, including Dan Tully and David Komansky, in 2008 as a place where senior BSD’s can get the top notch service they deserve.

    / Jun 3, 2010 at 5:11 PM
  • News

    Bonus Watch: Greenwich Connecticut Is Feeling Good Again

    We don’t have to tell you bitching about bonuses is getting boring. Thankfully, the good people of Greenwich have nothing bad to say about them, and are actually just happy things are getting back to normal. They are spending like it’s 2005 all over again, although they admit that they’ll have to go about their […]

    / Feb 8, 2010 at 5:15 PM

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