He said he was going to quit if stripped of the chairman role, and god damn it, he meant it but luckily: 1. It did not come to that and 2. He got distracted watching that Harlem Shake video Lloyd sent him and fell down a rabbit’s hole of different versions on YouTube, waking up this morning with his face on the keyboard and an email that began “I believe it was John Pierpont Morgan who famously said, ‘You can all go fuck yourselves'” saved to drafts. Read more »
Jamie Dimon Pretty Happy He Didn’t Fire Off That Resignation Letter Last Night After His Second Bottle Of WineBy Bess Levin
Just a week after putting out an AMBER alert that several of his beloved pieces of art had gone missing during a heist on his home and a mere four days after an emotional press conference pleading with the public to help him find them, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach’s most prized possessions, after his Sexy Slave KitTM, have been recovered. Read more »
Our friends at Bridgewater Associates have long loved Halloween and a good Halloween soiree. In addition to an annual party paid for by the firm, its staff is known to host bunches of get-togethers in the week leading up to the big night, where everyone gets into the spirit. It wasn’t until very recently, however, that they felt comfortable speaking frankly about candy corn and costumes with the outside world. Read more »
Reach: Rewarding Achievement is an educational non-profit started three years ago which helps prepare disadvantaged high school students prep for their AP exams. The program tutors roughly 3,700 kids in 31 New York schools on the weekends and awards them cash prizes of $500 for scoring a 5, $400 for 4’s and $300 for 3’s. So, that’s nice. Humanity and whatnot, helping people less fortune and so on and so forth. Having said that, as you may know, it’s not enough to just “support” these groups in theory. They need money and you need to give it to them. Fundraisers are of course a typical way of raising cash, but if you want to attract the ladies (which Reach does, women hedge fund execs being their target donors), you’re going to have to do a lot better than the standard scotch/cigar/poker night. Enter Ji-mei Ma, the event’s chairwoman and head of product marketing and client development at Nebula Capital Management.
“A lot of women don’t play poker, and women prefer to spa,” said Ji-mei Ma. So she went with champagne and spa treatments [and] called the fundraiser Bubbles and Bling.
Like fish in a barrel amiright? And speaking of fish… Read more »