Your devastating news of the day/week/month (fuck it, year): Fox Business has canceled Happy Hour. At this time it’s reportedly “unclear” as to how the three hosts will be affected but it’s obvious CW’s gonna need a home. Who among you are wiling to take him in? Here’s a quick list of what he brings to the table:
1) As the founder of a hedge fund that at one time had as much as $5,000 in assets under management, is considered one of the greatest minds on Wall Street.
2) Is a voracious Twitter’er and could possibly manage your account
3) IS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WITH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, who would probably stop by your office at least once if his little buddy was given a desk there. Continue reading »
You also narrowly avoided being ambushed into having a conversation about tranny tits while waiting on line for the bathroom, so same diff, no diff.
Tried to grab a beer at the Gin Mill Bar the other night, but with 100 members of the SEC inside (whose bar tab the taxpayer presumably covered), it kinda killed the vibe. We sat outside and watched as group after group walked to the door, saw the sign and muttered, “SEC Happy Hour, what the fuck?” and then walked away in disgust. As for tranny porn, I didn’t get close enough but that might be more of an after-work Friday happy hour get together type thing.
Update: In his haste to (understandably) get indignant re: footing the bill for a bunch of sick fucks who have no business celebrating a job well done, our tipster did not realize that SEC, in this case, refers to Southeastern Conference. Obviously it’s not all his fault, but given that I’ve previously publicly stated the fact that I know jack about football, I’m not taking too much blame for this. Additionally, I’m adding that this also went over NakedShort’s head. As you were.
Cody Willard needs no introduction, nor do his qualifications but I’m going to give them to you anyway: the man hosts a show about business in a bar. He once owned a hedge fund where he managed slightly more than $1,000 in assets under management. He kind of knows what short-selling is. For all those reason and more, and I don’t think anyone will disagree with me here, we believe Willard is uniquely qualified to offer you “revolutionary” advice on investing. So fuck Maria Bartiromo. Get your money back from Lenny Dykstra, if he hasn’t already spent it on Twizzlers and dip. Through his “unconventional” investment strategies, CDubs is gonna line your pocket with singles– maybe even 20s, if you play your cards right.
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