hedge fund managers

stevecohen (1)Also about how he had “no idea” who might’ve been responsible for sideswiping Tim in accounting’s driver side mirror, despite the fact that he was seen peeling out of the parking lot at the time of the incident. This upcoming bout truthiness brought to you by Cohen’s ex-bride, Patricia C. Read more »

  • 13 Nov 2014 at 4:09 PM

Dan Loeb Channels His Inner Steven Spielberg

danloebthirdpoint-260x195As many of you know, Dan Loeb is something of a pioneer in the activist investing industry. Sure, there were others doing it before him, but he made a name for himself when it came to the art of disemboweling his targets via pen and paper. And while he continues to send various public company CEOs and their boards his trademark letters (all of which include a potent, poetic blend of sarcasm, self-regard, belittling attacks on management competence, and lengthy prescriptions for change), Loeb is not content to sit on his laurels vis-à-vis fucking up the universes of his objects of scorn, or to get left behind in the 20th century of activist investing. In April 2012, he debuted a blog exclusively devoted to his proxy battle against Yahoo– the first of its kind!– and today, he’s unveiled his latest reinvention of the wheel: a short film about Dow Chemical, complete with ominous music that is sure to haunt your dreams and make the Koch brothers proud. The film is a certain finalist for best picture at the Proxies, an annual awards ceremony honoring cinematic achievement in the hedge fund industry. Read more »

Michael PlattThe co-founder of BlueCrest Capital Management is interested in would-be employees who can be found in no-limit Texas Hold’em games in the early hours of the morning. Read more »

Bill AckmanIf this hedge fund manager thing doesn’t work out, he’s got a plan B. Also a C, which is star in the first season of HGTV’s, Flip or Flop: Billionaire Edition. It’s pretty obvious Ackman could sell the hell out of a 4 bed, 3.5 bath tudor style house featuring a “spacious open concept living/dining/kitchen area, finished basement and luxurious master suite.” Read more »

Bill AckmanIt’s a burden, really. Read more »

  • 23 Oct 2014 at 4:48 PM

Bill Ackman Is Onto You!

"This guy back stage knows what I'm talking about"The interview began at 2 p.m., and [Jim] Grant went straight after the elephant in the room — the Valeant-Allergan deal. “May I call you Bill, or do you prefer ‘Alpha’?” Grant asked playfully before launching into a series of questions. Before we go any further into this story, you should know that short-seller Jim Chanos, CEO of Kynikos Associates, was sitting in the crowd. Chanos is famously short Valeant. He says it is an accounting rollup that lacks organic growth. Ackman knew Chanos was in the crowd, because during the lunch lecture (about 20 minutes before Ackman’s interview), Chanos asked a question in front of everyone present. Now, back to Ackman’s interview. As Grant asked the same questions about Valeant-Allergan that critics have been asking for months — “Does the company actually make money?” “Does Valeant overpay for its acquisitions?” “Doesn’t it need to spend money on R&D?” — Ackman started to bristle a bit. Suddenly, he turned toward Grant. “Are you short because your daughter is working for Jim Chanos?” he asked pointedly. [BI]

  • 23 Oct 2014 at 10:00 AM

Ken Griffin Introduces The Concept Of His Divorce Voice

It's The Griffins!As those of you keeping up with the conscious uncoupling of Kenneth Griffin and his soon-to-be ex-wife Anne Dias Griffin know, both the Citadel founder and his bride have been playing the hardest of ball re: marital assets, reputations, etc, since he filed for divorce over the summer, maintaining, through their attorneys, that each other can suck it. For her part, Anne has alleged that Ken:

  • Surprised her divorce papers while she was on vacation with their three children
  • Had a couple’s therapist he was seeing on his own convince her to sign a pre-nup
  • Is an absentee father
  • Changed the locks on their houses
  • “…threatened to demolish part of the family’s primary Chicago residence”

In response, Ken has:

  • Reminded Anne about the time he dressed up “as Spider-Man for a school Halloween party and as a prince for a daughter’s birthday party”
  • Reiterated that if Anne thinks she’s getting a dime more the prenup stipulates, she oughta think again

…and most recently, said in court filings that 1. Use of his private jet is privilege, not a right and 2. What she might have interpreted as terrifying verbal abuse was simply how he talks when he’s divorcing someone and not cause for alarm. Read more »