hedge fund managers

Back in July, Chicago, Wall Street, and the universe, really, were rocked by the prospect of Citadel founder Ken Griffin losing his title as World’s Richest Illinoisan, following the news that he and his wife were getting divorced. For those who haven’t been following the story, a quick refresh:

* July 23, 2014: Ken’s lawyers serve Anne with divorce papers.
* July 23, 2014, later that day: Anne’s lawyer says in a statement that Ken “unilaterally filed a divorce petition…with no notice to either me or my client, knowing full well that she had just left for summer vacation with their three young children and would therefore be unable to respond.”
* July 24, 2014: Ken’s lawyers preemptively put it out there that the couple’s prenup is: “…valid, binding and enforceable…”
* September 2, 2014: Anne Dias Griffin says fuck you and fuck your prenup; says through a lawyer she wants it voided; claims that Ken sprung the prenup on her three days before their wedding, then got her to sign it by suggesting the two see a therapist while failing to mention he was already a patient of said therapist.
* September 3, 2014: Re: allegations by Anne that he’s an absentee father, Ken brings out the big guns: “A source close to Mr. Griffin called the father of three a devoted dad who’s been known to dress as Spider-Man for a school Halloween party and as a prince for a daughter’s birthday party that had a princess theme.”

Which brings us to today. From Ken’s camp, there’s the news that Anne’s already received a sizable chunk of change over the course of their marriage. From Anne’s, it’s that Ken’s changed the locks on their many vacations homes and maybe threatened to take a wrecking ball to their Chicago penthouse? Read more »

Thankfully, the e-commerce giant came to its senses before Ichan had to go all Queens schoolyard on its ass. The only reason he gave them an extension on his patience is because he’s actually had great success selling his knickknacks on the site. Read more »

As you may have heard, hedge fund manager Louis Bacon is in a bit of a tiff with “Canadian clothing magnate” Peter Nygard, his neighbor in Nassau. While the genesis of the argument is unclear, Bacon appears to have been upset with Nygard for doing some environmentally questionable things in the area, while Nygard claims Bacon’s beef is that he wouldn’t sell the Moore Capital founder his land. Typically, when rich people live within close proximity of one another, disagreements quickly devolve into amazingly petty wars of words and actions between two people with little to lose and unlimited resources with which to do things, like, say, cut down each other’s shrubs without asking. Any past feuds between the exceedingly wealthy, though have been complete and total child’s play compared to Bacon v. Nygard, in which:

* Bacon has claimed Nygard paid off a group of people to march around carrying signs linking Bacon to the KKK.

* Nygard has claimed an assistant of Bacon’s, acting on orders from his boss, blasted the most annoying sounds in the world from “military grade speakers” directly into Nygard’s bedroom, as a message not to fuck with Bacon.

* Nygard has claimed Bacon also dispatched an assistant to burn down his neighbor’s house. Read more »

By day, Brian H. Lederman works as a managing director for Swiss Performance Management & Fiduciary.* By night (and maybe also by day), he grabs women’s asses. He grabs them on the subway, on the sidewalk, while waiting in line for the bathroom, and on his way out of the club. He grabs them in the rain, on the train, here and there and anywhere. If there were a category for grabbing asses, he’s undoubtedly be the Guinness Book of World Records holder. That is to say, he grabs a lot of asses. And while most people would not be able to keep track of all the asses they’d grabbed in their lifetime, Lederman claims he’s never forgotten an ass, which was an essential piece of his recent defense against allegations that he’d grabbed one at Lucky Strike earlier this week. Read more »

  • 15 Sep 2014 at 3:13 PM

Break Yourself Off A Piece Of Bill Ackman Today

Hedge-fund manager William Ackman aims to raise $2 billion through the initial public offering of one of his funds on Euronext Amsterdam in a move that will provide it with steady capital. Pershing Square Holdings Ltd. said Monday that it plans to float on the Amsterdam stock exchange for $25 a share, giving it a market capitalization of at least $5 billion…The IPO comes as activist investors are embarking on a drive to take advantage of their increasing clout in boardrooms and above-average hedge-fund returns. Mr. Ackman hopes that the IPO will provide him with more permanent capital. [WSJ]

  • 15 Sep 2014 at 2:15 PM

Phil Falcone Is Thinking Things

Like maybe now that he’s got all this free time on his hands, he should lace up his skates and whip the New York Islanders into shape? With his afternoons unoccupied for the next four years and his old Harvard game plans already dug out of the attic, the three-time Ivy League hockey champion is ready to teach these NHL underachievers a thing or two about working a puck. As for his consigliere Wilbur, she wouldn’t be caught dead in Minneapolis, but is happy to entertain offers to tickle the ivories in Brookklyn as Barclays Center organist. See Phil for dressing room demands. Read more »

As those of you familiar with the career of Daniel S. Loeb know, the hedge fund manager makes a nice chunk of change each year through activist investing. While the boards of most public companies view activist investors in general as people who show up to their home uninvited, take a shit on their staircase and then demand to know how anyone in good conscience could live in such squalor, to view Loeb as just one of many would be like lumping Pavarotti together with a bunch of glee club dropouts.

The man, quite simply, has elevated the art of activist investing, through his trademark letters (all of which include a potent, poetic blend of sarcasm, self-regard, belittling attacks on management competence, and lengthy prescriptions for change) and delightful flourishes like tasking his best researchers with uncovering damning details about the objects of his wrath, like, for instance, that they lied about their college majors. Anyone who has watched him at work will agree: he is an artist.

And now, he’s got even more money than usual to spend on fieldwork, correspondence, and possibly skywriters who will be paid to leave a fluffy white “Just Quit Already” above various chief executives’ homes and offices. Read more »