hedge fund managers


[Via ZH, Related: Dan Loeb’s High Road Is Paved With High Impact Enemas Administered By A 77 Year-Old Man]

  • 09 Aug 2013 at 3:51 PM

Phil Falcone Is Just Going To Start Suing Everyone

Once the Harbinger founder got a taste of how good it felt to serve someone papers, he just couldn’t stop. This morning it was the entire GPS industry; tomorrow, anyone who sold their LightSquared debt to Charlie Ergen, these guys, for not winning the Stanley Cup, and maybe the SEC, in some sort of countersuit. Which, if you were looking into the not too distant future, might go down something like this:

[Somewhere in midtown.]

Phil Falcone, to someone on the other line. It’s not clear who it is, but we get the impression she has hooves: Have you seen this American Express bill?! I told you we need to be cutting BACK, not spending MORE right now. [pauses to listen to Unknown Caller's response.] Well maybe I don’t care if Barney’s had a mumu that was speaking to you. [pauses to listen to Unknown Caller's response, with increasing impatience.] Well maybe I don’t care if you needed a pick-me-up, I told you we can’t be borrowing from the fund anymore. [deafening shrieking on the other end of the phone.] I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m just really stressed these days…

[A knock at the door.] Read more »

As some of you may recall, early last week, hedge fund manager Dan Loeb continued his public call for Sony to dump its entertainment division, writing that it was “perplexing” that CEO Kazuo Hirai had zero sense of shame about releasing “After Earth” and “White House Down,” i.e. “2013′s versions of Waterworld and Ishtar.” The Third Point manager went on to say that that the division is “being ineffectively overseen” and that it should be someone other than Sony’s job to worry about its “troubling results.” Loeb obviously wrote the letter and demanded the changes with the belief that, as one of the company’s largest investors, he had the right to weigh in. One person who felt differently was George Clooney, who late last week took the opportunity to offer that, in his opinion, Dan Loeb doesn’t know dick about the movie industry. Clooney described Loeb as a “carpetbagger,” a fear monger, and an interloper with zero knowledge of what it takes to make good movies, whose influence would only result in the production of “tent poles” and “crap.”

So it was somewhat surprising to hear Loeb, who earlier this week received word that Sony would be declining the advice to spin off the entertainment division, say in an interview that he and GC are basically totally on the same page. Read more »

A lesser man might be sweating the impending fraud charges against the firm that manages his money, but SAC Capital investor Ed Butowsky’s brows and underarms are bone dry. Butowsky, who has gone on record recently to say that 1) he wishes he could put more money with SAC and 2) anyone speaking ill of Steve Cohen can and should go fuck themselves, is fairly certain Team SAC will come out of this stronger than when they started. And when that day comes he’ll be there with party hats and streamers, driving the giant S-A-C-shaped float he’s been working on in his garage through the streets of downtown Stamford, accompanied by Beamers girls shooting zip-up fleeces out of stadium-style tee-shirt guns. There’ll be Zamboni rides and Facepaint, and a petting zoo for the kids. It’ll be the greatest celebration this town has ever seen and will serve as a monument to one man’s unwavering faith in another. And if that other man wants to throw some gratitude in the unwaveringly faithful guy’s direction, maybe by making him a senior adviser or giving him his own parking spot or just taking the time to say, “Ed, I couldn’t have done it without you. And I think of you like a brother,” that’d be okay too. Read more »

Earlier today, a person, if a person were so inclined, could hop on his or her Bloomberg terminal, start a message to hedge fund manager Dan Loeb, and be greeted with a header that proclaimed “New HLF Product: The Herbalife Enema, Administered by Uncle Carl.” This line was an obvious reference to the figurative enema Pershing Square chief Bill Ackman has undergone at hands of the shake and supplement company and fellow money manger, Carl Icahn. After a flurry of articles pointing out Loeb’s anus-themed diss, the Third Point manager’s header was changed to “Always take the high road.” While one might quick to assume this meant Loeb had had a change of heart re: his previous statement, and had felt it’d been a less than diplomatic thing to say, doing so would make an ass of you and me. Read more »

  • 17 Jul 2013 at 6:00 PM

Jim Chanos’ Sons Owe Their Lives To Shake Shack

Jim Chanos, who oversees $6 billion as the founder of Kynikos Associates Ltd., said Danny Meyer’s hamburgers might have saved his two sons from getting struck by a bat that slipped out of Miguel Cabrera’s hands during last night’s Major League Baseball All-Star Game. The errant bat flew into the stands down the third base line after a swing and miss by the Detroit Tigers’ All-Star third baseman during the fourth inning last night. It flew over about 10 rows of fans before hitting the empty seats next to Chanos, who was seen dodging the projectile on the television broadcast by News Corp.’s Fox network. Chanos, the money manager who rose to fame shorting Enron Corp., said his sons weren’t in their seats at the time because they were grabbing food at Meyer’s Shake Shack stand at New York’s Citi Field, home of the Mets. “Luckily they got up to get a burger, so the bat landed where they were sitting instead,” Chanos said in an interview today at the CNBC Institutional Investor Delivering Alpha Conference. “I e-mailed Danny Meyer and said his burger had saved my sons.”

  • 28 Jun 2013 at 5:19 PM

Steve Cohen Has Nothing To Say To You!

Steven A. Cohen, summoned to testify before a grand jury about allegations of insider trading at his SAC Capital Advisors LP, invoked his Fifth Amendment right not to incriminate himself, said two people familiar with the matter. It wasn’t clear if Cohen, 57, had invoked his right to testify before the grand jury or had been excused from appearing after informing prosecutors of using the privilege, said the people, who asked not to be identified because the information is private. “I wouldn’t have recommended that he goes in to testify given how this looks like the government is trying to build a case around Cohen, rather than investigate one,” said Thomas Gorman, a partner at law firm Dorsey & Whitney LLP in Washington. “It just seems that the government is reaching for a theory to support their beliefs.” [Bloomberg]