hedge fund managers

  • News

    Bill Ackman Makes The Boldest Of Claims

    This one doesn’t have to do with Herbalife, per se, but the sort of proclamations we’ve come to know and love from Bill re: Herbalife in general. Like that it’s going to (paraphrasing): be raided by the feds on an exact day, that his next presentation on the company will reveal where all the dead […]

    / Jan 7, 2015 at 5:36 PM
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    Bill Ackman Did Pretty Well For Himself Last Year, Has A New Herbalife

    On this first matter, his firm returned over 40% in 2014. As for the second, sadly, it’s a secret for now.

    / Jan 6, 2015 at 4:41 PM
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    People Are Now Waiting In The Rain To Get Autographs From Bill Ackman

    “Excuse me, Mr. Ackman? Can I have your autograph?” It’s a rainy afternoon in early December, just outside Pershing Square’s offices. William Holmes, a recent college graduate with a degree in economics, is shivering in the cold, holding a notebook. “I’ve studied everything you’ve done,” the young man gushes. “You are like the Socrates of […]

    / Jan 6, 2015 at 2:13 PM
  • storytime


    Top Performing Hedge Fund Manager Tells His 5 Year-Old A Bedtime Story (About Morons)

    To be fair, we don’t actually know if Brett Jefferson’s lesson about stupidity was delivered as a bedtime story, a lullaby, or just a general piece of wisdom he regularly shares with his young son. But it seems fairly obvious that the Hildene Capital Management founder is wasting no time teaching the boy about the […]

    / Jan 5, 2015 at 3:52 PM
  • Dan Loeb Bill Ackman


    Pay Day ’14: Hedge Fund CEOs

    Bill Ackman, head of the best performing large hedge fund firm, is poised to pull in at least $1 billion, according to rough CNBC calculations using his net worth, stake in $19 billion Pershing Square Capital Management and the fund’s stellar 35 percent return net of fees through early December. Larry Robbins also pulled in […]

    / Dec 24, 2014 at 1:33 PM
  • News

    Cliff Asness Eulogizes Children’s Book Author The Only Way He Knows How

    Finally this bastard who ruined my childhood is rotting in hell (kidding, probably a very nice guy, RIP). http://t.co/kgnxFkRJw5 — Clifford Asness (@Cimmerian999) December 17, 2014 [via @matt_levine]

    / Dec 17, 2014 at 4:33 PM
  • ackman


    Bill Ackman Just Can’t Help Himself

    Bill Ackman sat in the hair and makeup chair at Bloomberg, waiting for his lieutenants to file in for a quick briefing before he went on the air. He knew what they were going to say and what they needed to hear him say before they’d be comfortable with him getting in front of the […]

    / Dec 17, 2014 at 3:35 PM
  • stevecohenpenthouse


    Don’t Make Steve Cohen Slash The Price On His Penthouse A Fourth Time

    He already cut it once to $98 million (from 115) and now it’s down to a mere $82 mill. At this point his practically giving it away and if the bargain basement price isn’t enough to get anyone to bite, how about he sweetens the deal by throwing in a coupla signed 8×10 copies of […]

    / Dec 15, 2014 at 9:45 AM
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    Steve Cohen To Commemorate 12/10 Annually As “Suck It, Preet Bharara [pumps fist, does a little high kick] Day”

    Will Cohen celebrate the loss by his noted #2 enemy1 at the hands of an appeals court by saying, “Fuck it, you know what? We’re re-re-naming the firm?” We’ll just have to wait and see (but it seems possible).

    / Dec 12, 2014 at 3:57 PM
  • Hedge Funds

    Here Are Some Things That Paul Singer Thinks Suck

    Our friends over at DealBook yesterday gave the Elliott Management chief an audience and a microphone, which means that Paul Singer did what he does when he gets an audience and a microphone: Give his enemies a piece of his mind. The Fed? A bunch of self-important “enablers” with a martyr complex. CalPERS? Doesn’t know […]

    / Dec 12, 2014 at 1:14 PM
  • goat7


    Hedge Fund Manager Whose Goats Speak French Would Rate Their Intelligence Around That Of Your Average Investment Manager

    A few weeks ago, the hedge fund manager Mark Spitznagel was walking through a wooded area on his 200-acre farm in Northport, Michigan, shouting at goats. “A droite! A droite!” he called, urging the animals to return to a path from which they had strayed in order to nibble on the surrounding brush. When Spitznagel […]

    / Dec 10, 2014 at 9:30 AM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch: Lily-Livered Fund Managers

    An affinity for risk can be a very bad thing. Blow-up-your-hedge-fund-and-become-a-laughingstock kind of bad. Ask Brian Hunter. Also lose your job kind of bad, especially if your affinity for risk produces losses and you work at Brevan Howard. But an aversion to risk? You might as well start boxing up your cubicle right now, according […]

    / Dec 2, 2014 at 5:00 PM
  • ken griffin


    Sleep Where Ken Griffin (And The Soon-To-Be Ex-Mrs. Griffin) Hath Slept

    Ken Griffin, the founder of Chicago investment firm Citadel and Illinois’ richest man, has listed his three-bedroom, 2,494-square-foot condominium on North Michigan Avenue for $1.4 million. Griffin, who is in the midst of a contentious divorce from his wife Anne Dias Griffin, owns a penthouse condominium on the 67th floor of the nearby Park Tower […]

    / Nov 26, 2014 at 11:32 AM
  • News

    “Cliff Asness Or Teenage Twitter Rant?”

    If you’re killing time at the office, working on Turkey Day, or are looking for a fun interactive game for the family to play Thursday night after dinner, test your knowledge of Asnessisms with this quiz brought to you by Hedge Fund Intelligence. Or simply appreciate the above rendering of Clifford in his bedroom, by […]

    / Nov 25, 2014 at 5:38 PM
  • Phil Falcone


    Christmas Comes Early At Casa De Falcone

    Phil knew that this was more than just a threat. In all the years they’d been living together, he’d never seen her so mad, not even after she’d discovered he’d been hawking her vintage Hermes scarves for cash last summer. No, she’d really had it with him this time. It’d been more than three years […]

    / Nov 25, 2014 at 1:59 PM
  • Shhh, he didn't mean it.


    Area Man Underestimates Just How Much Steve Cohen Hates His Ex-Wife

    As those of you who keep up with the Life And Times of Steven A. Cohen know, there are few things on this earth that the hedge fund manager despises more than his first bride, Patricia Cohen. So despite the fact that she has been suing him nearly five years; is, in the words of […]

    / Nov 24, 2014 at 4:27 PM
  • stevecohen (1)


    Government May Hear About The Time Steve Cohen Tore Out The ’39’ Tag In His Dress Pants, Had A ’31’ Sewn In

    Also about how he had “no idea” who might’ve been responsible for sideswiping Tim in accounting’s driver side mirror, despite the fact that he was seen peeling out of the parking lot at the time of the incident. This upcoming bout truthiness brought to you by Cohen’s ex-bride, Patricia C.

    / Nov 17, 2014 at 4:43 PM
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    Dan Loeb Channels His Inner Steven Spielberg

    As many of you know, Dan Loeb is something of a pioneer in the activist investing industry. Sure, there were others doing it before him, but he made a name for himself when it came to the art of disemboweling his targets via pen and paper. And while he continues to send various public company […]

    / Nov 13, 2014 at 4:09 PM

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