hedge fund managers

When one becomes a multi-billionaire, there are a few questions he or she has to ask him or herself. The first is, will I still eat my food with my own two hands or will I have someone cut it and feed it to me? Will I put my pants on myself each morning, or would it be nice to be have someone dress me, French aristocracy-style? Will I walk around like I did before becoming a man or woman of immense wealth, or will I be carried, leaving my legs to be simply ornamental? The most important question, though, is this: in the hypothetical event that I sleep with a woman on and off for five years, promise her a “dream apartment” and subsequently inform her, moments after accidentally sleeping with her one last time, that I gave it to another woman, setting off a chain of events in which names are called, lamps are thrown, and all out wars are waged, will I at some point relent and give her what she wants or will I never, and I mean ever, back down, not even after she beats the shit out of me and my staff during a deposition more than two years after this debacle began? For George Soros, the answer to that question was apparently, “BRING IT, BITCH.” Read more »

Over at Dealbook today you will find an article by Matthew Goldstein and Alexandra Stevenson that takes stock of the government’s futile attempts to ensnare hedge fund manager Steve Cohen, in the wake of last week’s guilty verdict against one of his former traders, Mathew Martoma. According to Martoma’s attorney, his client was but a pawn/grain of sand in the Feds’ quest to nail Cohen for insider trading. While the conviction of Martoma was a win for Preet Bharara and Co in that it brought their record against accused insider traders to 79-0, things didn’t turn out precisely as they had hoped, as Martoma never turned on Cohen by revealing the damning details of a crucial 20 minute conversation the two had over the phone, before SAC began dumping its shares of Elan and Wyeth.

Will Martoma ultimately turn on Cohen in an effort to receive a more lenient sentence? It’s possible, though somewhat unlikely, as 1) He hasn’t up to this point and 2) His “testimony is not worth much to prosecutors now unless he has some email document, or other piece of physical evidence to support any version he would present of his conversation with Mr. Cohen. Plus, the revelations that he attached fake Harvard Law transcripts to his applications for prestigious clerkships did not exactly do wonders for his credibility. Obviously this is good news for Cohen, and adding to the ‘everything is coming up roses for the Big Guy’ column is the fact that, amazingly, people supposedly “still want to work [at SAC.]”

Which brings us to the most important part of Goldstein and Stevenson’s piece: the window it give us into one of the more vital and consequential tasks SAC employees find themselves performing daily: Read more »

Ray Dalio > Louis Bacon > PTJ > Andy Hall

January’s numbers are in and they are… not great. Especially for Andrew Hall of Phibro fame, who, if he is in fact God, is proving the almighty rather fallible. Read more »

Two years ago, like a modern day Noah, Nicholas Jacinto arrived at the townhouse of billionaire Phillip Falcone with a menagerie of exotic animals. He carted a sloth, a king snake, a lemur, a marmocet, a hedgehog and a Brazilian aardvark into the hedge fund king’s $50 million Upper East Side home to set up for a birthday party. Jacinto had been hired to provide the entertainment, displaying the rare critters to gawking guests. But before the show could start, city Health Department inspectors swooped in. They ticketed Jacinto, a state and federally licensed wildlife expert, for not having a city permit for the animals, and sent him packing back to his Long Island farm with his tail between his legs. “It was a huge embarrassment what the department did to me,” he recalled. DNAinfo New York, January 21, 2014

Wilbur adjusted the towel around her head. She took a long drag off her Lucky Strike and stared out onto East 67th Street. Phil hated when she smoked in the house, so she’d cracked the bathroom window and had the fan going. But honestly, she didn’t much care what Phil thought right now.

Had she wanted to perform at the children’s birthday? No. Of course not. She wasn’t their monkey and she didn’t do children’s birthdays. But the fact that he’d made the call immediately after their fight felt especially cruel. Things weren’t great with them but she never thought he’d go out of his way to hurt her.

She flicked the rest of her cigarette out the window and stared at her pores in the mirror. Phil used to tease her for spending hours scrutinizing her skin. Lately, though, he hadn’t said anything. Maybe he was no longer paying attention. Maybe he’d noticed the fine lines where things were once smooth, and hoped she would, too. She knew it was ridiculous, but she couldn’t help but feeling like he was trading her in for a new model.

There was a knock at the door. “Wilbur, can I come in?” Phil asked from the other side.

After all of their fights, the big ones and the small ones, no matter what had been said, no matter how many objects were thrown (Wilbur) or how many tears were shed (Phil), they’d always found their way back to each other eventually. Wilbur was still hurting, but she was ready to hear what Phil had to say, ready to move on. In a couple hours the guests would be arriving, and a little while after that they’d sing Happy Birthday and eat cake, and Wilbur would do her standard, “Are you one, are you two, are you three…” In spite of herself, she was actually looking a little bit forward to the animal display.

She opened the door, ready to reconcile. But Phil didn’t come in. He stood at the threshold, without a hint on contrition on his face or in his bearing. There was no sign that he’d been crying at all. Read more »

Those of you who keep close tabs on Texas hedge fund manager James Dondero know that he has been battling his ex-wife Becky Dondero over how much money he owes her for some time now. Complicating things slightly is a related suit/countersuit involving a former Highland Capital Management employee , Patrick Daughtery, who was sued by Dondero after he testified on behalf of Becky, claiming that over drinks, his boss told him he planned to “get his net worth down and pay her as little as possible.” In the suit, Dondero claimed that Daughtery made the story up to get back at Dondero/Highland for compensation that was never paid out, in addition to alleging that that Daugherty had suffered brain damage. Anyway, jury selection for the Dondero/Daughtery trial started yesterday, and the judge presiding over the case is not gonna lie: he’s looking forward to the juicy details. Read more »

No one took a bite at $115 million but at 98, this thing’ll practically sell itself! Read more »

“It is not the role of Herbalife’s auditor to determine if the company is a pyramid scheme. Rather, that determination depends on whether distributors earn more from recruiting new distributors than from retail sales to consumers who are not distributors. The few Herbalife distributors that make money earn the vast majority of their profits from recruiting. Herbalife is a pyramid scheme that will be shut down by regulators.” [Earlier]