Herbalife

Sure, Herbalife’s independent distributors are its entire raison d’etre, but their goddamned websites are giving Bill Ackman way too much ammunition. And since it’s apparently going to be sticking around, the diet-shake empire is going to do something about it. Read more »

  • 30 Sep 2014 at 4:38 PM

SEC Charges Guy With Being Very Bad Roommate

10. Leaves dishes in the sink.
9. Fills DVR with Diners, Drive Ins and Dives and “Save All Episodes” option
8. Brings back strange men he/she met on the corner 5 minutes earlier.
7. Is late with the rent.
6. Eats your food.
5. Leaves Post-it notes on the bathroom mirror that read “Should I deduct $0.75 from your portion of the rent for the shampoo you used this morning?”
4. Repeatedly asks you if your girlfriend is single.
3. Invites the cast of Stomp over for a nightcap when you’ve got a big presentation in the morning.
2. Tells your mother she looks great and asks if she’s had work done since she last visited.
1. Trades on material non-public information you mentioned in passing and in confidence. Read more »

The last two years were just a warm-up. Read more »

The day the Feds start listening to Ackman and shut down Herbalife will surely take the cake, but until then, this will have to do: Read more »

A question that many have asked themselves and others since Bill Ackman announced he was shorting shake and supplement company Herbalife is, “Okay, but for how long? When does it end?” The Pershing Square founder and his team could very well be right in classifying the organization as a pyramid scheme, but central to their argument is that the government is going to shut this thing down, and that might not happen. Will Pershing keep its position forever? Long after Bill retires and for many years after that? Will CEO Michael Johnson ever be free from this man who haunts his dreams or will Ackman always be there, watching, waiting? In an interview yesterday, the most passionate hedge fund manager to ever live said basically yes to the latter. Read more »

As you’ve probably heard by now, Bill Ackman gave a little presentation yesterday, on his favorite supplement and diet shakes company, Herbalife. Prior to the event, the Pershing Square founder appeared on CNBC hyping up the thing so hard that he came extremely close to promising video of CEO Michael Johnson threatening to fire employees who refused to snort lethal dosages of Formula 1 Healthy Nutritional Shake Mix (Wild Berry flavor) up their noses. So when the presentation failed to deliver, the disappointment across Wall Street was palpable. Pershing Square investors, however, know a good thing when they see it, and are unfazed. Read more »

So Bill Ackman’s earth-shattering, research-redefining, can’t-miss company-killing “deathblow” didn’t exactly pan out yesterday, what with Herbalife shares soaring 25% yesterday as investors shrugged, “that’s all you got?” Now, it’s unclear what this exactly means for Pershing Square investors, since Ackman’s ninja restructuring of his $1 billion short last year makes precise P&L calculations impossible, but suffice it to say it means nothing good.

Nothing good for Ackman, anyway, but very good for new old buddy Carl Icahn, who remains a big believer in diet shakes in spite of Ackman’s best efforts to “get him out of the stock.” Two-hundred-and-thirty-four million dollars good. Good enough to let Uncle Carl leave the matter magnanimously unmentioned while also generously picking up the check at their next rendezvous at Marea. Read more »