Herbalife

  • 17 Dec 2014 at 3:35 PM

Bill Ackman Just Can’t Help Himself

ackmanBill Ackman sat in the hair and makeup chair at Bloomberg, waiting for his lieutenants to file in for a quick briefing before he went on the air. He knew what they were going to say and what they needed to hear him say before they’d be comfortable with him getting in front of the camera.

“Now what are you going to do when they ask you about Herbalife, Bill?”

“I’m going to speak about it in a measured tone. I’m going to manage expectations.”

“And why are you going to do that?”

“Because even if it’s true the company is a fraud, it doesn’t mean it’s going out of business tomorrow so we shouldn’t tell people to expect it, even though… [mumbles something about how he knows it will]…”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Okay, and what are you not going to do?”

“I’m not going to give an exact date in the near future when the company is going to explode.”

“And?”

“And I’m not going to use the word ‘explode’.”

“And?”

“And I’m not going to say ‘If Herbalife doesn’t go out of business in the next 365 days, I’ll give up solid food and subsist only on their shakes and supplements for a calendar year.”

The lieutenants looks at each other and nodded. They weren’t 100% sure they could believe him but this was as close as confirmation as they were going to get. And, to be fair, since the incident in July, he’d kept his promise. His promise to them, sure, but also his promise to himself. It’s not like he liked doing this. It’s not like he wanted to build up expectations re: the demise of Herbalife only to have them fail. But every time he got up on that stage, or in front of a camera, or on the phone with CNBC, something inside him took over and made him blurt out stuff like “Call the coroner, ’cause there’s gonna be a murder tomorrow, of the corporate variety” or “Get all the shakes you can now because in a fortnight, they’re gonna be gone” or “If Herbalife doesn’t go out of business by next week, my name’s not William A. Ackman.”

He wanted to dial down the enthusiasm. He really did. Read more »

herbalife shakesThe conflict being that the buddies have fled to Poland and don’t plan to return any time soon. Read more »

Cleverly eluding the Brazilian authorities in 2011 by loudly advertising where he'd be and when.It seems that Herbalife Chairman’s Club member and director Pedro Cardoso was involved in a private matter back in 1998. He says it’s no biggie; Brazilian prosecutors say it was a scheme to embezzle $10.4 million from a Brazilian state. So they indicted him 10 years later, which is apparently news to Pedro Cardoso, even though the Brazilians tried to let him know about it in 2010. Read more »

Bill Ackman Knows How To Fix Herbalife

First thing you do....If he cared only for himself, he’d keep the secret of turning a pyramid scheme into a legitimate business to himself. But the Pershing Square chief is back in the black vis-à-vis HLF, and feeling generous. So, here’s his recipe for success, as laid out in a kindly letter to Herbalife’s new compliance chief:

Step One: Throw everything out.

Step Two: Start over and build something that doesn’t violate every law on the books and every clause of the constitution and every tenet of human decency. Read more »

Finally paying off for Dana Bostick.Unfortunately for Bill Ackman, it is not Bill Ackman. It’s this guy, who has finally become a millionaire courtesy of Herbalife. Read more »

Herbalife Exec Not Too Worried About FTC Probe

The diet shake and supplement company CFO is pretty sure the Herbalife name will be cleared. Read more »

He's ba-ack.For more than a year, Herbalife’s biggest booster got his kicks kicking Bill Ackman while he was down, gleefully touting how he had been proven right about the world’s favorite diet shakes time and time again, while the Pershing Square founder had been proven the opposite, also over and over again. But at the beginning of the year, it occurred to Tim Ramey that repeatedly sticking his finger in Bill Ackman’s eye is really no way to live, and that he should try to do something constructive with his life, like corporate consulting.

But as he’s watched Ackman’s hopes get up and then dashed once again, Tim realized it is foolish to deny one’s passions. And so while he’s keeping his office over at Post Holdings, he’s ready to publicly sing the praises of his favorite multi-level marketing company once again, giddily predicting just how much more money Ackman is going to lose. Read more »

It says so somewhere in here, I'm sure of it! Just give me another minute to find it.Jordan Peixoto, friend/insider trading bud of worst roommate ever Filip Szymik, is ready to argue that the SEC’s administrative proceedings against him for insider trading, in Herbalife, are a violation of all of the U.S. Constitutional rights he learned about in Canadian civics classes. Read more »