high school

Over the past several years, much has been made about the supposed incompetence of the Securities and Exchange Commission. The regulator failed to realize Bernie Madoff had been running an illegitimate Ponzi scheme, despite more or less being told by Bernie Madoff himself, “I am running an illegitimate Ponzi scheme.” It went after David Einhorn, when it should have been going after Allied Capital, the company the hedge fund manager told them was committing fraud. Its proposal for stepping up investigators’ games was to start a Fraud College.* Until recently, it employed individuals in the office responsible for “ensuring exchanges follow guidelines concerning…computer audits, security, and capacity” who had “little or no experience with exchange technical matters.” At this point, there have been so many stories about the SEC getting things wrong that the default is to assume it fucked up, even when that is not actually the case. What’s more, even when Team Schapiro is on top of its game, resources are so strained that many scams that should be caught fall through the cracks. So you can maybe understand why a group of “high school buddies,” along with a few other guys they recruited at wine club, who were engaged in securities fraud for several years, weren’t too worried about getting caught.

The group, which included three health-care executives, a chiropractor and the owner of a spa-supply company called Yeah Baby, allegedly made more than $1.7 million by passing on secret information about mergers and acquisitions and earnings announcements of at least seven pharmaceutical companies, according to prosecutors and the Securities and Exchange Commission. The alleged scheme included high-school friends of Mr. Lazorchak, his former boss and members of his former boss’s wine-making club. Those charged are: Mr. Lazorchak, who was the director of financial reporting at Celgene; Mark Cupo, Mr. Lazorchak’s former boss at Sanofi-Aventis, where he was director accounting and reporting; Michael Castelli, Mr. Cupo’s friend from his wine-making club; Michael Pendolino, Mr. Lazorchak’s high-school friend who now works as a chiropractor in New Hampshire; Mark Foldy, a former marketing executive at StrykerCorp.; and Yeah Baby owner Lawrence Grum who was introduced to Mr. Cupo by Mr. Castell. Mr. Lazorchak, 42 years old, attended Colonia High School in Colonia, N.J., along with Messrs. Pendolino, 43, and Foldy, 42, according to the criminal complaint. Messrs. Castelli, 48, and Grum, 48, were classmates at another unnamed high school, according to the SEC…As recently as two months ago, one of the alleged members of the scheme was confident that investigators would fall short of cracking the case. “If they ever come to me, I know what I’m doing,” Mr. Grum told another person involved in the alleged scheme who had agreed to cooperate with criminal investigators, according to the complaint…Ultimately, Mr. Grum said the SEC wouldn’t come after them. “The SEC’s got to pick their battle because they have a limited number of people and huge numbers of investors to go after,” he said.

Another reason for Grum’s cockiness? The code words and phrases he and his buds used that they were prettay, prettay, prettay sure no one could crack. Read more »

Seven Long Island, New York, students were charged with taking part in a scheme in which six of them paid the seventh to take the SAT college-admissions test on their behalf, prosecutors said. Six current or former students at Great Neck North High School, about 20 miles east of Manhattan, are accused of paying Samuel Eshaghoff, 19, of Great Neck, to impersonate them so they could get higher scores on the test, Nassau County District Attorney Kathleen M. Rice said in a statement. Eshaghoff, a 2010 Great Neck North graduate, now attends Emory University in Atlanta after spending his freshman year at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Rice’s office said. He was paid $1,500 to $2,000 for each test, and took the exam for free for a female student. [Bloomberg]

At his high school graduation last year, Tyler Coyner told the audience his goal in life was to become a hedge fund manager. Coyner was the class’s salutatorian and finished his time at Pahrump Valley High School with a 4.54 grade point average. That number may be slightly higher than it ought to have been, as Coyner was the founder of a business that charged students money to raise their GPA’s, by breaking into the school’s computer system. Read more »

Jeff Immelt and his hair. [Cincy Mag]

Facial hair, of the ‘stache variety. One used to have an epic handlebar, as evidenced by his Harvard yearbook photo and the other wears a fake and goes around asking Deutsche Bank investor relations bunnies if he can interest them in a ride. Read more »

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Jamie with the Dimon family sheltie, Chippy. [Last Man Standing via BusinessInsider]

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  • 28 Oct 2009 at 5:02 PM

Jamie Dimon: THE HIGH SCHOOL YEARS

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Photos from Jamie Dimon’s yearbook at the Browning School have surfaced. While I sit here at my desk not knowing what to do with myself, you do your parts and fill in the standard: “The tie says [this], but the jean shirt/turtleneck/tie combo says [that].”
There are more.

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