HSBC

  • 02 Apr 2014 at 5:00 PM
  • Banks

El Chapo Guzman May Still Be Banking With HSBC

Remember that time HSBC was found to be running a lucrative money-laundering business on the side, cheerfully doing business with Mexican and Colombian drug cartels, the Iranians, Burmese and the Cubans? And how it agreed to stop and be a good boy and oh yea pay about $2 billion if federal prosecutors agreed not to file criminal charges against it?

Well, coming up with $1.9 billion was the easy part. Making sure you’re not doing the thing that forced you to write that check in the first place? This is a stickier matter. Read more »

Luxury fashion may be switching gender and age roles. In much of the world now, the most attractive demographic for such companies as Burberry (BRBY) and Coach (COH) isn’t middle-aged women with sky-high credit limits; it’s twentysomething men with smartphones and self-esteem issues. At least that’s the theory put forth recently by a three researchers at HSBC. The future of retail is in young, urban males—or as HSBC dubs them, “Yummies” (a handy verbal shortcut if one can say it without gagging). “The metro-sexual, that cliché from 20 years ago, is now becoming a commercial reality,” the HSBC team writes…But hasn’t it always been thus? Apparently not. HSBC notes that a lot of men are marrying later in life these days, freeing up income in their twenties that would otherwise have gone to supporting a family. The college fund can go to Coach totes, and the diaper budget is diverted to baby-soft driving moccasins. In trying to impress, HSBC says many young men are also looking past cars for the first time. After all, anyone with a few hundred dollars a month to spare can lease a Lexus (TM), but a traveling martini satchel from Tumi (TUMI) takes $5,000. [BusinessWeek]

  • 24 Feb 2014 at 4:23 PM

Bonus Watch ’14: HSBC Has A Plan

They’ll be upping everyone’s “allowance” to compensate the EU’s so-called “bonus caps.” Read more »


She’s got a money fan and she’s not afraid to use it. Gird your loins. [Twitter]

Related: Spandex-Clad, Billy-Club Brandishing Roller Girl Also Moonlights As ‘Ethical Fiscal Fairy’; Spandex-Clad Roller Girl Was Not Only Prepared To Put Citi Execs Over Her Knee But Read Them Their Rights; Blow-Up Jamie Dimon Recieved An Ass Kicking Today; Noted ‘Bank Reform Bitch’ Also Makes Appearances As ‘Desperate for Justice Housewife’; Bank Reform Bitch/ Ethical Fiscal Fairy/ Spandex-Clad Roller Girl/ Better Banking Butterfly Weighs In On Derivatives; Bank Reform Bitch/ Spandex-Clad Roller Girl/ Better Banking Butterfly/ Ethical Fiscal Fairy Pays Jamie Dimon A House Call

You can waterboard him. Pull his finger- and toenails out with rusty pliers. Electrocute his genitals. Make him talk to a House of Commons select committee.

But know this: Jonathan Evans will take HSBC’s darkest secrets to the grave. Read more »

  • 28 May 2013 at 4:40 PM

Layoffs Watch ’13: British Banks Are Number One!

When it comes to telling employees to take a long lunch and not come back. Read more »

  • 19 Mar 2013 at 3:26 PM

The Ballsiest Country In The Western Hemisphere

The passing of the torch.

It’s not Venezuela, now that old Hugo is gone. It’s not Cuba. And it’s definitely not the U.S. Indeed, the ballsiest country on this side of the globe seems to be measuring its cojones against us, in a series of direct throw-downs. And Argentina’s are bigger. Read more »